Married living in different states - 2025 joint or separate filing question?

Yes, you can definitely have different primary residences as a married couple, though it does complicate your tax situation. Each spouse can maintain their own domicile in different states if there are legitimate reasons (like employment), which you clearly have. If you choose to file separately, each of you would file a resident return in your respective states. Your wife would file as a New Jersey resident, and you'd file as a Colorado resident. However, filing separately often results in a higher overall tax burden federally, so you should run the numbers both ways. If you file jointly, you'd still need to file partial-year or non-resident returns in both states, allocating income appropriately. Since your wife will be physically working in New Jersey while maintaining residence there, her income would primarily be taxable in New Jersey. Your income would be primarily taxable in Colorado.

I was in this exact situation last year when my partner moved to Washington for work while I stayed in Oregon. I spent hours trying to figure out the tax implications until I discovered https://taxr.ai which seriously saved my sanity. You upload your tax documents and it analyzes your multi-state situation automatically. It identified that we could save almost $1,200 by structuring our filing a certain way that considered both states' rules. The tool also explained exactly how to handle the "primary residence" issue for each of us since we were splitting time between states. It created personalized state filing instructions that addressed our specific situation.

Update: I tried taxr.ai after reading about it here and it was exactly what we needed! I just finished our analysis and discovered we can maintain separate primary residences for legitimate work reasons while still filing jointly. The tool laid out exactly what forms we need for each state and identified a reciprocity agreement I never knew about that will save us from double taxation. The residency calculator feature was super helpful since it counted the days I spent in each state and told me exactly when I'd hit the statutory residency threshold. Totally worth checking out if you're dealing with multiple states!

My husband and I went through this nightmare last year when he took a job in Illinois while I stayed in Michigan. We spent WEEKS trying to get through to state tax departments for guidance. After 18 calls to Michigan's tax department with no answer, I found https://claimyr.com and their video demo at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c - they got me connected to an actual human at the state tax office in under 20 minutes! The state tax rep confirmed we could maintain separate primary residences for legitimate reasons (like jobs) and explained exactly how to file our returns. Without that conversation, we would have made a costly mistake on our state returns. Definitely recommend if you need to speak with someone at the tax department about your specific situation.

I have to apologize and eat my words. After posting my skeptical comment yesterday, I decided to try Claimyr out of desperation. After THREE MONTHS of trying to reach my state tax office about my residency status question, I got a callback within 45 minutes and spoke to an actual human being! The state tax rep confirmed that my situation (similar to the original poster's) qualified for maintaining separate residencies due to job requirements and temporary living arrangements. They walked me through exactly how to document everything on my returns. I've never been so happy to be wrong about something!

One thing nobody has mentioned yet is that you need to check if Colorado has a "convenience of employer" rule. Some states (like NY and CT) will tax your income if your job is based there, even if you're working remotely from another state. That could impact your wife's situation if she's working remotely from Colorado for a New Jersey company.

Has anyone mentioned the implications for property taxes and homestead exemptions? If you own property in both states, you typically can only claim primary residence benefits in one state. Could affect property tax bills significantly.

This is such a complex situation! I went through something similar when my spouse and I had jobs in different states. One thing that really helped us was keeping detailed records of everything - days spent in each state, where we voted, which state our driver's licenses were in, etc. The employment situation with your wife potentially switching from salary to contract work is interesting - that could actually impact the tax analysis significantly since contract income is treated differently than W-2 income for state tax purposes. You might want to run the numbers both ways (her staying salaried in NJ vs. becoming a contractor) to see which scenario is more tax-advantageous overall. Also, don't forget about things like voter registration and car registration - these can be factors that states use to determine your "true" domicile if there's ever a question. Make sure whatever you choose is consistent across all your official documents.