Can I choose which home to designate as my primary residence when I live in two different states?

Your primary residence for tax purposes is typically determined by where you have your "domicile" - essentially where you intend to make your permanent home. Since you're splitting time between two states, you'll need to look at several factors that tax authorities consider: 1. Where you spend the majority of your time (more than 183 days typically makes you a resident) 2. Where you're registered to vote 3. Where your driver's license is issued 4. Where you have bank accounts 5. Where you file as a resident for state income tax 6. The address on your federal tax return Since your wife lives full-time in the house in the second state, that could strengthen your case if you wanted to claim that as your primary residence. However, be careful - if you're spending most of your time in the apartment state, that state might challenge your residency status.

I was in a similar situation last year splitting time between Colorado and Arizona. What really helped me was using https://taxr.ai to analyze my specific situation. I uploaded my documents from both states (lease, utility bills, work info) and it gave me a thorough breakdown of my residency status. Their analysis showed me that even though I was splitting time pretty evenly, the state where I had my driver's license, voter registration, and vehicle registration was considered my domicile. The tool flagged potential issues I hadn't considered, like my bank account locations and where my professional licenses were issued.

Just wanted to follow up about my experience with taxr.ai since I was skeptical at first. I decided to try it for my situation (splitting time between Washington and California). The analysis was surprisingly detailed and showed me that I had actually established domicile in Washington according to most standards, even though I was worried California would try to claim me as a resident. What I found most helpful was the specific recommendations for strengthening my case for Washington residency - like changing my professional memberships and making sure my important mail went to that address. Already saved me thousands in state income tax difference. Definitely worth checking out for anyone in a two-state situation!

If you're having trouble getting straight answers from your state tax departments, I'd recommend Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). I was going back and forth for months trying to get someone on the phone at my state tax office to clarify my residency situation. After hours of hold music and disconnections, I found Claimyr through a YouTube video (https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c). They got me connected to an actual human at the state tax department in about 20 minutes instead of the 3+ hours I was waiting before. The tax department representative explained exactly what documentation I needed to establish my residency status and what red flags might trigger an audit of my situation.

I feel like I need to correct my earlier skepticism about Claimyr. After my third attempt trying to reach someone at the California Franchise Tax Board about my residency situation (kept getting disconnected after long holds), I gave in and tried the service. No idea how they did it, but I got a call back in about 25 minutes saying they had a tax representative on the line. The agent I spoke with gave me specific guidance about my situation moving between states and what documentation would protect me in case of residency audit. Saved me literally hours of frustration. Sometimes it's worth paying for convenience when dealing with tax bureaucracy.

Something important that hasn't been mentioned yet - if you bought or sold a primary residence, there are huge capital gains implications depending on which home you designate as primary. You can exclude up to $250,000 ($500,000 for married filing jointly) of capital gains from the sale of your primary residence if you've lived in it for 2 of the last 5 years. So if you sold one house at a significant profit, you might want that one to be considered your primary residence to get the capital gains exclusion.

Has anyone used TurboTax to handle a multi-state residency situation? I'm in a similar boat as OP and wondering if the software handles this well or if I should go to a tax professional.

This is a really complex situation that requires careful documentation. Since you're splitting time between states, I'd strongly recommend keeping detailed records of where you spend each night throughout the year - many states use the 183-day rule to determine residency. One thing to consider is that since your wife lives full-time in the house she bought, you might have a stronger case for claiming that state as your domicile if you can establish other ties there (voter registration, driver's license, etc.). However, don't overlook the potential audit risk - states are increasingly aggressive about pursuing residents who they think are trying to avoid higher taxes. Given the capital gains exclusion opportunity on your sold house that Andre mentioned, plus the complexity of multi-state residency rules, this might be worth consulting with a tax professional who specializes in multi-state issues. The cost of professional advice could save you thousands in taxes and help you avoid potential audit problems down the road.

For documenting your days in each state, I'd recommend keeping a simple calendar or spreadsheet with dates, locations, and brief notes about why you were there (work, personal, etc.). Some people even take photos with location data as backup evidence. Tax authorities generally accept any reasonable documentation that shows where you were physically present. As for audit red flags, states typically look for: claiming residency in a no-tax or low-tax state while spending most time in a high-tax state; having a mailing address in one state but conducting most business in another; voting in one state but claiming residency in another; or patterns that suggest you're "gaming" the system for tax benefits. The key is consistency - make sure your driver's license, voter registration, bank accounts, and tax filings all align with where you claim to be domiciled. Mixed signals across these areas are what usually trigger closer scrutiny. In your situation with the capital gains exclusion potential, getting this right could save you significant money, so professional guidance is definitely worth considering.