Help needed for self-employed disabled mother who hasn't filed taxes in 12+ years
Hey guys, I'm in a really tough spot and could use some advice. My mom (63) had a serious stroke back in January 2024 and hasn't been able to work since. She was self-employed as an independent contractor from 2011-2024, but I recently discovered she hasn't filed any tax returns or paid into the system during this entire period. The situation is complicated because she's also dealing with some serious mental health challenges that have gotten worse during her recovery. I've been covering both our living expenses on my $65K salary for over a year now, and I'm completely drained financially and emotionally. Since she hasn't contributed to Social Security for so long, she doesn't qualify for SSDI. I've applied for every type of assistance I can find, but it's been an uphill battle. Thankfully, she'll be moving in with my aunt next month who can help with her mental health needs, which is a huge relief for both of us. I'm trying to figure out the best path forward regarding her tax situation. Would bankruptcy help with her past-due taxes? Is a payment plan realistic when she has zero income and massive penalties have likely accumulated? I doubt I can handle these payments on top of my own expenses. Has anyone dealt with something similar? Any guidance would be super appreciated.
19 comments


Diego Fernández
This is a tough situation, but there are several options that might help. First, your mom may qualify for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) depending on her situation. SSI doesn't require work credits - it's need-based for disabled people with limited income and resources. For the tax issues, the IRS has programs for people facing financial hardship. Look into an "Offer in Compromise" which lets taxpayers settle their tax debt for less than the full amount. There's also "Currently Not Collectible" status if she truly can't pay anything. Before considering bankruptcy, consult with a tax professional because bankruptcy doesn't discharge all tax debts - it depends on several factors including how old the tax debt is and whether returns were filed. What I would recommend is getting those unfiled returns prepared ASAP. The IRS has the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program that provides free tax preparation services to people who meet certain criteria. They might be able to help with multiple years.
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Anastasia Kuznetsov
•Thank you so much for this info! I had no idea about SSI vs SSDI - this gives me hope. Would you know if there's a quick way to check if she would qualify for SSI? Also, for the tax returns, do you know if there's a limit to how many years back the VITA program will help with?
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Diego Fernández
•For SSI qualification, your mom would need to meet the disability criteria, have limited income and less than $2,000 in assets (some things like a home and car are exempt). The SSA website has a benefits eligibility screening tool that can give you a preliminary idea if she might qualify. The VITA program typically focuses on current year returns, but many locations will help with prior years too. There's no official limit, but their capacity varies by location. I'd recommend calling your local VITA site directly to ask about their ability to handle multiple years of unfiled returns. Some Tax-Aide programs (run by AARP) might also be able to help with multiple years.
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Sean Fitzgerald
I was in a similar situation with my uncle who hadn't filed for 9 years as a self-employed person. What saved us was using https://taxr.ai to get everything organized. It analyzed all his old records and statements to figure out what he actually owed versus what the IRS was claiming with penalties. The thing with self-employment taxes is that the IRS doesn't know what business deductions your mom might have qualified for during those years. Taxr.ai helped identify tons of legitimate deductions that significantly reduced what my uncle owed. They also helped draft the letter explaining the health circumstances which got some of the penalties waived. It's definitely worth checking out since your mom's situation involves self-employment and multiple years of unfiled returns. They're specifically designed for complicated situations like this.
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Zara Khan
•How does this actually work? Do they just look at bank statements or do you need to have actual receipts and records from years ago? My dad is in a similar situation and I don't think he kept great records.
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MoonlightSonata
•Sounds too good to be true tbh. How much did they charge your uncle? I'm skeptical of any service that claims they can magically reduce tax debt...
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Sean Fitzgerald
•They can work with whatever documents you have - bank statements, credit card statements, even just lists of clients and payments if that's all you've got. They use AI to analyze spending patterns and identify potential deductions you might have missed. In my uncle's case, we had some bank statements but not much else, and they were still able to piece together a pretty comprehensive tax picture. The value comes from their understanding of self-employment tax rules and what counts as a legitimate business expense. They don't make anything up - they just make sure you're claiming every deduction you're legally entitled to. They also don't guarantee specific results since everyone's situation is different, but they definitely helped us navigate a complicated mess.
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MoonlightSonata
I was skeptical about taxr.ai at first but decided to try it for my own tax situation (hadn't filed for 5 years while freelancing). The results were honestly surprising. They found legitimate deductions I never would have thought of - like portions of my phone bills, internet, even some car expenses that were business-related that I had forgotten about. The best part wasn't even the money saved though - it was having someone else deal with the stress of organizing everything. They handled all communication with the IRS, which saved me so much anxiety. I ended up owing about 40% less than what I initially feared. For your mom's situation with health issues involved, I think they'd be particularly helpful since they can craft the right explanation to potentially get penalties reduced based on her medical circumstances.
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Mateo Gonzalez
After reading your situation, I immediately thought about how challenging it must be to reach someone at the IRS to discuss these complex circumstances. When my sister had a somewhat similar situation (disability + unfiled returns), we wasted weeks trying to get through to someone who could actually help. We finally discovered https://claimyr.com which got us connected to an actual IRS agent within about 15 minutes instead of the hours of hold time we'd been experiencing. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c This was crucial because once we actually spoke with someone knowledgeable at the IRS, we learned about hardship provisions we didn't know existed. For someone in your mom's situation with health issues and no income, there are special considerations available - but you need to speak with the right person to access them.
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Nia Williams
•Wait I'm confused... how does this work exactly? The IRS phone lines are notoriously impossible to get through. Are you saying this service somehow gets you to the front of the queue?
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Luca Ricci
•Yeah right. The IRS doesn't give priority line access to third parties. This sounds like a scam that charges you for something that doesn't work. No way they can magically get through when millions of people can't.
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Mateo Gonzalez
•It's not a "front of the line" pass - they use technology that continuously redials and navigates the IRS phone system on your behalf. When they finally get through to a representative, they connect that call to your phone. So you're not waiting on hold for hours - you just get a call when an actual person is on the line. They don't have special access to the IRS - they just handle the frustrating part of getting through their phone system. It's basically like having someone else sit on hold for you, but using automated technology. It's especially useful for complex situations like this where you really need to speak to a person rather than try to resolve everything online.
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Luca Ricci
I need to eat my words about Claimyr. After posting that skeptical comment, I was still desperate to talk to someone at the IRS about my own tax issue (different from OP's but also complicated). I decided to try it despite my doubts, figuring I had nothing to lose. I was legitimately shocked when I got a call back with an actual IRS agent on the line in about 22 minutes. For context, I had previously spent over 2 hours on hold twice before getting disconnected. The IRS agent was able to put me on a hardship status for my situation after reviewing my details. For someone like OP's mom with serious health issues and no income, this could be really valuable - but you need to actually speak to someone to explain the situation and get that status applied to her account. Sometimes you need a human on the phone to understand complex circumstances that don't fit neatly into online forms.
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Aisha Mohammed
For the self-employment tax issue specifically, your mom may be able to file Form 911 (Taxpayer Advocate Service) to request assistance based on her health situation. My father had a similar situation after his accident left him unable to work for years. The Taxpayer Advocate can sometimes help reduce penalties or set up more favorable payment arrangements in hardship cases. They're specifically there to help taxpayers who are experiencing significant hardship navigate the system. The key is documenting her medical condition thoroughly. Also, don't forget to look into your state's disability programs - some states have non-federal disability assistance that might help while you're sorting everything else out.
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Ethan Campbell
•Do you need to file all the back taxes before applying for the Taxpayer Advocate help? Or can they help during the process of trying to get everything filed?
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Aisha Mohammed
•You don't need to file all back taxes before contacting the Taxpayer Advocate Service. In fact, they can be most helpful during the process of getting everything filed and sorted out. They can sometimes help coordinate with different IRS departments, request holds on collection activities, and provide guidance on the best approach for your specific situation. When my father used their services, they actually helped determine which years needed to be filed first based on potential refunds vs. liabilities, which made the whole process more manageable. Just make sure to clearly explain the health circumstances and financial hardship when you contact them.
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Yuki Watanabe
One thing nobody's mentioned yet - since your mom had a stroke and likely qualifies as disabled, she might be eligible for an IRS provision called "Disability Discharge." This isn't widely known but can be huge. I discovered this after my husband became disabled. You'll need medical documentation showing permanent disability, but if approved, it can result in forgiveness of certain tax debts. It's not guaranteed and doesn't apply to all types of tax debt, but definitely worth investigating given her stroke and ongoing health issues. Also, make sure to check if your state has similar provisions for state tax debt - many states have parallel programs for disability-related tax relief.
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Carmen Sanchez
•i thot disability discharge was only for student loans? does it really apply to tax debt too??
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Fatima Al-Qasimi
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this overwhelming situation. As someone who works in tax resolution, I want to add a few critical points that could really help your mom's case. First, given that she was self-employed and dealing with mental health issues, there's a good chance the IRS may not have accurate records of her actual income during those years. Self-employed individuals often have the IRS estimate their income based on industry averages, which can be way higher than reality. Getting those returns filed with actual income figures could significantly reduce what she owes. Second, her stroke and ongoing health issues could qualify her for "reasonable cause" relief from penalties. This is separate from hardship status and can result in substantial penalty reductions. You'll need medical documentation, but given the severity of her condition, this could eliminate a huge portion of her debt. Also consider that if she had very low income in some of those years, she may not have owed much (or anything) for those periods. Self-employed people only owe self-employment tax if their net earnings exceed $400 annually. The most important step right now is getting those returns filed to establish the actual tax liability rather than letting the IRS continue to estimate. Everything else becomes much clearer once you know what she actually owes versus what penalties and interest have accumulated.
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