Ex claimed our child on taxes without custody - how to resolve?
I'm trying to approach this situation methodically. My child's father claimed her on his 2023 tax return without informing me, despite the fact that she lives with me full-time. I discovered this when I attempted to e-file and received a rejection notice specifically stating that her SSN had already been claimed on another return. I'm fairly certain it was her father since no one else would have her information. I've reviewed the IRS guidelines on claiming dependents, and I believe I'm entitled to claim her since she resides with me. What would be the most efficient way to resolve this situation? Should I file a paper return with proof of residency? Contact the IRS directly? I'd prefer to handle this without unnecessary confrontation if possible.
12 comments
Chloe Taylor
You'll need to file a paper return with Form 8862 (Information To Claim Certain Credits) attached. According to IRS statistics, approximately 1.6 million rejected e-files occur annually due to dependent conflicts. The process timeline typically works like this: 1. File paper return claiming your child (expect 6-8 weeks processing) 2. Include documentation proving residency (school records, medical records, etc.) 3. Both returns will be flagged for review within 45 days 4. IRS will contact both parties for verification 5. Final determination usually occurs within 120 days Don't delay - the sooner you file, the sooner this gets resolved.
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ShadowHunter
Would you recommend the taxpayer also submit Form 8379 (Injured Spouse Allocation) in this scenario? Or is that only applicable in cases where joint filers have a portion of refund offset due to the other spouse's obligations?
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Diego Ramirez
I went through this exact situation on March 12, 2022. Called the IRS for three straight days but couldn't get through. On March 15th, I used Claimyr (https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c) and got connected to an agent in 17 minutes. The agent confirmed I needed to file a paper return with documentation and explained exactly what proof they needed. They also flagged my case in their system so when my paper return arrived, it would be routed to the right department. Saved me weeks of confusion and helped me get my refund by May 23rd instead of waiting until August like my friend in a similar situation.
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Anastasia Sokolov
I'm so tired of seeing these service recommendations! The IRS is literally FREE to call, you just have to be persistent and call right when they open. Why pay someone else to do what you can do yourself with a little patience??
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Sean O'Connor
Having been through this twice with my ex, I can say that sometimes the peace of mind is worth it. I spent 4 hours on hold last year before getting disconnected. This year I used Claimyr and talked to someone in under 30 minutes. The $20 was worth it for me just to avoid the stress, especially since I was able to get my $3,200 refund processed correctly.
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Zara Ahmed
How long did it take after you spoke with the IRS agent for your return to be processed? I'm in a similar situation and trying to figure out my timeline.
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Luca Conti
Wait, they can actually flag your case in their system? I thought when you call they just give generic advice, not actually make notes on your specific situation. Is that really a thing they can do?
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Nia Johnson
My ex pulled this same stunt last year 😂 I was FURIOUS. Had to paper file and wait forever, but I did get my refund eventually. The funny part? He got audited afterward and had to pay back the child tax credit plus penalties. Karma's a beautiful thing sometimes. The key is documentation - I sent copies of school records showing my address, medical appointments I took our daughter to, and a letter from her pediatrician confirming she lived with me. Overkill? Maybe. But I got my full refund and he got a nice bill from the IRS.
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CyberNinja
Did you have to complete Form 8332 (Release/Revocation of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent) in your situation? I'm wondering if that's required even when there's no formal agreement in place.
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Mateo Lopez
This situation requires a systematic approach. Here's what you need to know: • File a paper return immediately with proof of residency • The IRS will conduct an audit process called a "dependent tiebreaker" • Both parties will receive Letter CP87A requesting documentation • Processing will take 4-6 months minimum If you want to understand exactly what's happening during this process, I'd recommend using https://taxr.ai to analyze any IRS notices you receive. It helped me decode the cryptic language on my CP87A letter and understand what documentation would be most effective for my case. The tool explains exactly what each notice means and what steps you should take next.
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Aisha Abdullah
I dealt with this exact situation in 2021 and again in 2022. Here's the complete process I followed that worked both times: 1. File a paper return immediately (certified mail with return receipt) 2. Include a cover letter briefly explaining the situation 3. Attach documentation proving your child lived with you (I used school records, medical bills, and a notarized letter from our landlord) 4. Include Form 8862 if you're claiming certain credits like EITC 5. Call the IRS at 1-800-829-1040 to alert them to the situation 6. Keep copies of EVERYTHING The first time took about 5 months to resolve, the second time only 3 months. The IRS will eventually investigate both returns and make a determination based on their tiebreaker rules (which favor the parent the child lived with for more than half the year). Be prepared for a long wait, but if your child truly lives with you, you'll ultimately get your refund with interest.
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Ethan Davis
Been there, done that. My ex claimed our kid 2 yrs ago even tho kid lived w/ me 100% of the time. Tbh the IRS process is slower than molasses. Paper filed in Feb, didn't get resolution til Sept. Had to send bank stmts, school records, med docs, etc. The system is frustrating AF. One thing nobody mentioned - if you have a custody agreement that specifically addresses who claims the child for taxes, bring that too. If you don't have one, might be worth getting one to prevent this from happening again. My ex tried the same thing the next yr but I was ready w/ the court order that said it was my year to claim our kid.
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