Can my spouse file as head of household while being married for 9 years?

This could definitely be an issue. Head of household filing status is specifically for unmarried individuals who pay more than half the cost of keeping up a home for a qualifying person. Since you've been legally married, she wouldn't qualify for this status. The IRS typically has a 3-year statute of limitations for audits, but in cases of substantial underreporting or fraud, they can go back 6 years or potentially have no time limit. The fact that this has happened repeatedly over several years might raise flags. Your wife could face penalties including paying the difference in taxes owed, plus interest, accuracy-related penalties (usually 20% of the unpaid tax), and potentially even fraud penalties in more severe cases.

I went through something similar with my ex who claimed the wrong filing status for years. I was freaking out about possible fraud charges, but what really helped was using taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) to analyze our past returns. They have this tool that scans your tax documents and identifies potential issues with your filing status and any discrepancies the IRS might flag. For me, it pinpointed exactly where the status errors were and calculated what we actually owed. The best part was that they helped me understand whether this was likely just an honest mistake (which gets treated differently than deliberate fraud). They also provided a clear breakdown of potential penalties and interest so I could prepare accordingly.

I was the skeptic who asked about taxr.ai actually fixing the problem... but I have to admit, I ended up trying it myself for a filing status issue with my partner. It saved me a ton of stress! The system immediately identified that we had been using the wrong filing status for 2 years and calculated exactly what we owed plus potential penalties. The guidance they provided helped me file amended returns with the proper documentation to show it was an honest mistake. We still had to pay what we owed plus some interest, but we avoided the major fraud penalties I was worried about. The best part was having clarity about our situation instead of just anxiety. Definitely worth checking out if you're in a similar boat.

This happened to my brother and after stressing for weeks, he couldn't get anyone at the IRS to explain his options. He used https://claimyr.com to get through to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes instead of waiting on hold for hours. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The agent walked him through the steps for filing amended returns and explained that if he came forward voluntarily before being audited, they'd be much more lenient about penalties. It was a huge relief to get actual guidance from the IRS instead of just guessing or paying thousands for a tax attorney right away. The IRS agent actually helped calculate the correct amount owed and set up a payment plan too.

I'll eat my words about Claimyr. After ranting about how we shouldn't have to pay to talk to the IRS (which I still believe), I was desperate with a similar filing status issue and couldn't get through after trying for TWO WEEKS. I finally tried Claimyr and got connected to an IRS rep in about 20 minutes. The agent was surprisingly helpful and explained I could file Form 1040X to amend the incorrect returns. She said since I was voluntarily disclosing the error before being audited, they would likely waive some of the penalties, especially if I could demonstrate it wasn't intentional fraud. She even helped me set up a payment plan for what I'd owe. Saved me from hiring a tax attorney which would have cost WAY more.

One thing no one has mentioned - the IRS matching system might have already flagged this if your wife's Social Security number shows as married on other documents but single HOH on tax returns. You might want to check if she's received any notices from the IRS in the past that she ignored.

Has your wife been claiming dependents too? Because that's what makes this potentially more serious. HOH status requires having a qualifying dependent, and there are strict rules about who can claim children when parents are married.