Married in 2023, but spouse hasn't filed taxes in over 10 years - what should I do?

You're in a tricky situation, but you've got options. Filing married filing separately (MFS) is usually the way to go when one spouse has tax complications like unfiled returns. This keeps your tax liability separate from hers. That said, there are some downsides to MFS - you'll lose several tax benefits compared to filing jointly. You might not qualify for certain credits like education credits, child and dependent care credit, and you'll have lower income thresholds for deductions. Your wife should really consider getting current with her tax obligations. The IRS has programs like the Voluntary Disclosure Program that can help people who haven't filed in years get back on track with reduced penalties. The longer she waits, the more complicated (and potentially expensive) it gets. For your immediate situation, I'd suggest consulting with a tax professional who can review your specific circumstances and help you determine the best approach for this year's return.

Hey there, I was in a somewhat similar situation a few years back. My husband hadn't filed for about 7 years before we got married. I was super stressed about it until I found this amazing service called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that helped us sort through years of unfiled returns. Their system analyzed all his old financial documents and helped us figure out what years he actually needed to file for (turns out for some years he didn't even have a filing requirement!). It gave us a clear roadmap of what we needed to address and in what order. We were able to get him caught up within a couple months, and surprisingly, he was even due refunds for a few years! I'd highly recommend checking them out since they specialize in helping with unfiled returns and can give you a realistic assessment of your wife's situation without the scary judgment you might get elsewhere.

Just wanted to follow up - I checked out taxr.ai for my tax situation (had 3 years unfiled) and it was seriously helpful! The document analysis found some deductions I didn't even know I qualified for in my old paperwork. The whole process was way less scary than I expected. The step-by-step instructions made it really clear what I needed to do. I actually ended up getting about $3,400 back in refunds I never would have claimed otherwise! Really glad I took the plunge instead of continuing to avoid dealing with my tax situation. Definitely worth checking out if your wife is ready to address her unfiled returns.

If your wife is ready to tackle her tax situation, she'll probably need to talk to the IRS. After helping my mom with a similar situation (6 years unfiled), I can tell you that getting through to someone helpful at the IRS is a nightmare. We spent days calling and getting disconnected or waiting on hold for hours. We finally used Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) to get through to an actual person at the IRS. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c. Basically, they hold your place in the phone queue and call you when an agent is about to pick up. Saved us literally hours of hold time. The IRS agent was surprisingly helpful once we actually got through. They explained exactly which years needed to be filed first and helped us set up a manageable payment plan for what she owed. Getting that direct guidance from the IRS itself was super valuable in making sure we were doing everything correctly.

I need to apologize and correct myself about Claimyr. After our conversation, I was still skeptical but decided to try it because I've been trying to reach the IRS about an issue with my tax transcript for literally months. I used the service yesterday, and no joke, I got through to a real IRS agent in about 47 minutes without having to sit there listening to that awful hold music. The system called me when an agent was about to pick up, and I resolved my transcript issue in one call. I've literally been trying for 3 months to reach someone at the IRS without success. I'm honestly shocked that it worked so well. Just wanted to follow up since I was so skeptical before. If your wife decides to tackle her tax situation, this would definitely help get the process started.

A bit of personal experience here: I was in your wife's position about 5 years ago (hadn't filed in 8 years). The anxiety of not filing just kept building until I finally faced it. Here's what surprised me: - For several of those unfiled years, I actually was due refunds - The IRS was way more helpful than I expected once I started the process - The penalties weren't nearly as bad as the scenarios I'd built up in my head One important point: there's a 3-year limit on claiming refunds, so if your wife is due any refunds from more than 3 years ago, she's lost that money forever. That was my biggest regret - I lost about $4,800 in refunds because I waited too long. My advice: help her get started with just ONE year. Sometimes breaking it down makes it feel less overwhelming.

Just to add another perspective - I'm a spouse who didn't file for several years (not quite 12, but about 5). When my husband and I got married, he insisted I get caught up before we filed jointly. I was so embarrassed and kept putting it off, but the mental weight of knowing I was non-compliant was actually worse than the process of fixing it. If your wife is feeling overwhelmed, maybe offer to help her get started with just the most recent year? Breaking it down into smaller steps made it way less intimidating for me. Also, something my husband did that really helped: he didn't judge me or make me feel stupid about it. He just treated it like a practical problem we could solve together. That approach made a huge difference in my willingness to tackle it.

Hey Austin, I completely understand your stress about this situation. You're smart to be thinking about filing separately - that's definitely the safer route given your wife's tax history. One thing I'd add to the great advice already given: even if you file married filing separately this year, you and your wife can still work together to tackle her unfiled returns without it affecting your current tax liability. The IRS treats each spouse's tax obligations separately when you file MFS, so her past issues won't impact your clean record. From a practical standpoint, I'd suggest having an honest conversation with your wife about getting current with her taxes. The anxiety and uncertainty of having unfiled returns hanging over your heads will only get worse with time. Plus, as others mentioned, she might actually be owed refunds for some of those years. If she's willing to start the process, beginning with just the most recent year or two can make it feel less overwhelming. The IRS is generally more interested in getting people back into compliance than punishing them, especially when there's no indication of intentional fraud. Good luck with whatever you decide!