Social Security widow benefits confusion - do ex-wife and I split my deceased husband's benefits 50/50?

The SSA representative gave you incorrect information. As a widow, you can receive up to 100% of your deceased husband's benefit amount when you reach your FRA. This entitlement is separate from what his ex-wife might be eligible for. His ex-wife (assuming she hasn't remarried before age 60) may be entitled to divorced spouse survivor benefits based on his record IF they were married for at least 10 years, which it sounds like they were. However, her claim doesn't reduce your widow benefit. What the rep might have confused this with is spousal benefits for a living worker, where current and ex-spouses might receive 50% of the worker's benefit amount. But survivor benefits work differently. I recommend calling SSA back and speaking with a different representative. Ask specifically about widow benefits at FRA, not spousal benefits.

My mom went thru this last year. The first person she talked to told her something wrong too. She ended up having to go INTO the office to get it straightened out! Had to wait like 3 weeks for an appointment tho.

This is a common misunderstanding. The SSA rep confused two different benefit types: 1. Widow benefits: You can receive 100% of your deceased husband's benefit at your FRA. The 9-month marriage duration requirement applies, which you meet. 2. Divorced spouse benefits: His ex-wife may qualify for divorced spouse survivor benefits (up to 100% at her FRA) since they were married over 10 years. Importantly, multiple survivors can each receive full benefits on the same worker's record - there's no "splitting" of benefits. You and his ex-wife can both potentially receive 100% of his benefit amount without affecting each other. I recommend requesting a widow benefit calculation in writing from SSA. You'll need to decide whether to take your own retirement benefit or the widow benefit, whichever is higher.

Every time I call the SS office I get different answers! It's infuriating!!! I spent 4 HOURS on hold last month trying to figure out my disability review and got disconnected TWICE. Then when I finally got someone they gave me WRONG information that I had to get corrected later. It's like they don't train their people at all or don't care about giving correct information. How are we supposed to plan our lives when they can't even tell us the right rules????

I went through something similar when my husband died 2 years ago. The first SSA rep I talked to said my widow benefit would be reduced because we were only married 4 years. Another rep later told me that was completely wrong - there's just the 9-month marriage requirement (except in some accident cases). Definitely call back and ask specifically about "survivor benefits at full retirement age." Also mention the "9-month marriage duration requirement" specifically and confirm you meet it. Sometimes using their exact terminology helps get the right answer. And write down the name of who you speak with! I learned that lesson the hard way.

my friend says if u were married less than 10 years u get less. but i think thats for divorce not death???

I called SSA again this morning and spoke with a different representative. They confirmed what most of you said - I'm eligible for 100% of my husband's benefit at my FRA regardless of what his ex-wife may receive. They explained the first representative confused spousal and survivor benefits rules. They also confirmed our 15-month marriage satisfies the 9-month requirement. I'll be able to choose between my own retirement benefit or the survivor benefit, whichever is higher. I'm so relieved and grateful for everyone's help here! It's frustrating to get incorrect information that caused me unnecessary worry.