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Social Security survivor benefits nightmare - Friend hasn't received payments in 7 months after husband's death

My friend (59) lost her husband last October and is still fighting to get her survivor benefits from Social Security. She filed immediately after his passing but has received NOTHING for 7 months! Every time she calls, she waits 3+ hours only to be disconnected. When she finally got through last week, they told her some documents were 'missing' that she definitely submitted back in November. The local office is booked months out for appointments. She's burning through savings and getting desperate - about to lose her house because her husband was the primary earner. They were married 30 years, and he worked his entire life, so I know she qualifies for widow benefits. She's too young for her own retirement but should be eligible for survivor benefits at 59. Has anyone dealt with extreme delays like this for survivor benefits? What can she do when SSA keeps losing her paperwork and she can't get anyone on the phone? At this point she's considering getting a lawyer, but that's even more money she doesn't have.

The Boss

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My mother went through something similar 2 years ago. SSA is HORRIBLE with survivor claims!!! It took her 5 months to get her first payment and they kept saying they needed the same death certificate over and over! Make sure your friend keeps calling EVERYDAY until they fix it. Also tell your friend to contact her congressperson - that's what finally worked for my mom when nothing else did. They can light a fire under SSA like nothing else.

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Mia Roberts

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I hadn't thought about contacting her congressperson! That's a great idea - I'll suggest it. Did your mom eventually get backpay for all the months they delayed? My friend is worried they'll only start payments going forward once they fix things.

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The Boss

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Yes they did backpay everything from the day she first applied! Make sure your friend keeps ALL proof of when she first applied and every time she submitted documents. My mom got a lump sum for all the missed months at once when they finally fixed it. The congressional office actually helped her get an emergency appointment at the local SSA office too.

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this happened to me too its terrible sorry for your friends loss. has she tried going in person to the office? sometimes they help walkins at the end of the day if u wait

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Mia Roberts

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She tried going in-person twice but they wouldn't see her without an appointment. Both times she waited for hours only to be turned away. It's so frustrating!

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I help people navigate these situations frequently, and there are a few critical steps your friend should take immediately: 1. Request an "urgent critical need" appointment at her local office. This is specifically for people facing financial hardship, potential homelessness, or inability to pay for necessities. She should use those exact words when requesting the appointment. 2. Make sure she has the right documentation: original death certificate (not a photocopy), their marriage certificate, his Social Security number, her ID, and their most recent tax returns. 3. She should file a formal complaint through SSA's Office of the Inspector General about the lost paperwork and delays. This creates an official record. 4. Since she's 59, she's eligible for reduced widow's benefits (full benefits would start at her FRA). These should have started within 6-8 weeks of application. 5. She is absolutely entitled to retroactive benefits from the application date, so she'll get a lump sum for those 7 months once approved. If she's facing imminent financial crisis, there's also the option of requesting an "dire need" processing of her claim, which can expedite things.

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Mia Roberts

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Thank you so much for this detailed information! I didn't know about the "urgent critical need" appointment option - that sounds perfect for her situation. Do you know if she can request that over the phone or does she need to go in person?

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She can request the urgent critical need appointment by phone, but she needs to be very clear about her financial hardship situation. When calling, she should immediately state: "I need to request an urgent critical need appointment regarding my survivor benefits claim. I'm at risk of losing my home due to 7 months without benefits." This specific language helps trigger the proper protocols. If the representative doesn't offer an expedited appointment, she should politely ask to speak with a supervisor. Document everything - date, time, who she spoke with, and what was said during each interaction.

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Jasmine Quinn

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I've been through the exact same nightmare scenario with my own survivor benefits, and I finally found a solution after months of frustration. After getting disconnected countless times and being told my documents were lost (twice!), I discovered a service called Claimyr that got me through to an actual SSA agent in under 20 minutes instead of waiting for hours. It basically navigates the SS phone system for you and calls you back when it reaches an agent. Complete game-changer when you're desperate to resolve issues like this. Check out how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Once I actually got to speak with someone, I was able to schedule an emergency appointment for financial hardship (like the previous commenter mentioned), and they finally processed my claim with all back benefits. The website is claimyr.com if your friend wants to try it.

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Oscar Murphy

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I just used this service last week!!! after 4 attempts getting disconnected after 2+ hour waits. It actually worked and I got through to an agent who fixed my direct deposit issue finally. Best $15 I ever spent after wasting entire days on hold.

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Nora Bennett

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Tell your friend to check if her husband's record already shows he's deceased in the SSA system. My mom had a similar issue where she applied for survivor benefits but the SSA computer system hadn't updated my dad's record as deceased even though she'd submitted the death certificate multiple times. The survivor application kept getting stuck in limbo because of this weird technical issue. Also, does she have online access to her own my Social Security account? Sometimes you can see status updates there that the phone reps don't even mention. And definitely get that congressional inquiry started ASAP!

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Mia Roberts

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That's an interesting point about checking if his record shows as deceased in their system! I'll ask her about that. She does have her own my Social Security account but hasn't seen any updates there about her survivor application. Just her own retirement information which she can't claim yet.

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Ryan Andre

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has she tried faxing the documents?? sometimes that works better than mail or bringing them in. my sister had similar problems and faxing the death certificate and marriage license finally worked when nothing else did..........

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where do u even find a fax machine nowadays lol

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Just want to add something important: There's a one-time lump sum death benefit of $255 that your friend should have received right away. If she didn't get even that, something is seriously wrong with how her case is being handled. Also, since she's 59, she'll receive reduced survivor benefits (about 71.5% of her husband's full benefit amount). Once her claim is processed, she'll need to decide whether to take these reduced survivor benefits now or wait until her FRA to get 100% of his benefit. Depending on her own work history, she might want to take survivor benefits now and then switch to her own retirement benefit later if it would be higher. This is one of the few remaining opportunities to use a "switching strategy" with Social Security benefits.

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Mia Roberts

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You're right - she never received the lump sum death benefit either! That's another red flag something is wrong with her case. Thank you for explaining about the reduced benefits at 59 vs. waiting until FRA. Her own work history is spotty (she was a stay-at-home mom for many years), so her own benefit would likely be much lower than her husband's. This is all so complicated!

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The Boss

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One more thing - tell your friend to gather ALL of the following for her appointment: - Original death certificate (not a copy) - Original marriage certificate - Both of their birth certificates if possible - His Social Security card and her Social Security card - Their most recent tax return - Both of their ID/driver's licenses - Any paperwork from previous attempts to apply - Bills showing her financial hardship (mortgage statements, past due notices) - A written statement explaining the timeline of events Sometimes the SSA people will claim they need something specific just to delay things further. If she brings EVERYTHING, they can't pull that trick!

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Mia Roberts

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This is an excellent list! I'll make sure she has all these documents organized for her appointment. I think part of the problem before was she didn't have everything they wanted in the exact format they needed it.

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Nora Bennett

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I just remembered another option - many Social Security offices now offer video appointments that can be scheduled sooner than in-person visits. Your friend might have better luck getting one of those. The appointment scheduler is online at https://www.ssa.gov/apointments/ (they sometimes have typos in their URLs, I think it's supposed to be appointments but that's how their system works). Also, if she's truly facing immediate financial crisis, she should ask if she qualifies for SSI as a stopgap measure while the survivor benefits are being processed. It's a different program with very strict asset/income limits, but it might help temporarily.

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Mia Roberts

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Thank you for these suggestions! I'll check out the video appointment option with her. I'm not sure about SSI since she still has some savings (though it's rapidly dwindling). But worth looking into every possible option at this point!

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just wondering did ur friend's husband also get social security before he died? cause if he did sometimes they just continue depositing his payments for a while and then suddenly stop when the system realizes he passed away. happened with my grandfather and it confused everyone for months

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Mia Roberts

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Yes, he was receiving Social Security retirement for about 3 years before he passed. They did stop his payments right away after she reported his death, but then never started her survivor benefits. That's a good point though - I'll ask if she's checked all their accounts to make sure.

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Oscar Murphy

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has she gotten the $255 death benefit yet at least?? that's supposed to be automatic for spouses

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Mia Roberts

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No, she hasn't received anything at all from Social Security - not even the $255 death benefit! It's like her application went into a black hole.

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Jasmine Quinn

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Let us know how it goes! I'd be curious to hear what finally works for your friend. The whole system is so broken, but it helps when we share what actually works to break through the bureaucracy. I hope she gets her backpay soon!

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Mia Roberts

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I definitely will update! I'm meeting with her Wednesday to go through all these suggestions, and I'll let you know what ends up working. Thank you all so much for your help - this forum has been amazing.

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