Can I claim ex-spouse Social Security benefits at 61 after 13-year marriage that ended in 2004?
I've been researching my SS options as I approach retirement age and have a question about ex-spouse benefits. My marriage lasted 13 years before we divorced in 2004, and I never remarried. I'm 61 now and trying to plan ahead. From what I've read, I might be eligible for a portion of my ex's Social Security when I apply if his benefit amount is higher than mine? Also wondering if I'd be eligible for survivor benefits if he passes away before I do? I'm confused about the timing - do I have to wait until my full retirement age (which I think is 67) to apply for the ex-spouse benefit? Any help would be appreciated as I'm trying to figure out if I should apply early or wait.
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Harper Thompson
Yes, you can claim benefits on your ex-spouse's record if you meet all requirements: 1) marriage lasted at least 10 years, 2) you're unmarried now, 3) you're at least 62, and 4) the benefit you'd get from his record is higher than your own benefit. You can claim survivor benefits if he passes away, even if he remarried. But there's a key timing issue - you can't claim any benefits based on his record until you reach 62, which is next year for you. And if you claim early (before your FRA of 67), you'll get a permanently reduced amount - potentially up to 30% less for retirement or spousal benefits.
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Lucas Bey
•Thank you! So I have to wait until I'm 62 next year, but then I'd be taking a big reduction? Will they automatically give me whichever is higher - my benefit or the portion of his? Also, how do they notify him when I apply for benefits on his record? I'd rather he not know about my financial situation.
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Caleb Stark
my aunt did this exact thing! she got divorced after 22 yrs and she gets half of what my uncle gets. but i think she waited til she was 66 or 67 to get the full amount. also dont u have to wait til your ex starts collecting first? thats wat happened w my aunt i think
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Jade O'Malley
•Your aunt likely received the full 50% by waiting until her Full Retirement Age, but the ex-spouse does NOT need to be collecting Social Security already - that's a common misconception. The ex only needs to be eligible for benefits (62 or older) even if they haven't applied yet. The SSA can calculate the benefit amount based on their earnings record regardless. And to clarify, divorced spouse benefits can be up to 50% of the ex's benefit amount, not automatically half.
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Hunter Edmunds
I'm in a similar situation, got divorced in 2010 after 11 years. When I called SSA about this, I was on hold FOR HOURS and then got disconnected!!! It's impossible to get through to them these days. I tried the local office and they're booked out 3 MONTHS for appointments!!! How is anyone supposed to get answers about their benefits???
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Ella Lewis
•I had the same frustrating experience trying to reach SSA about my divorced spouse benefits. After wasting days getting disconnected, I found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a real SSA agent in about 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. Saved me so much stress - the agent answered all my questions about ex-spouse benefits and confirmed I was eligible after my 11-year marriage.
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Andrew Pinnock
Did your ex-spouse make a lot more money than you? If your own work record gives you similar benefits, it might not be worth claiming on his. Also, WAIT UNTIL FULL RETIREMENT AGE if you can!!! The reduction for taking ex-spouse benefits early is PERMANENT! I took mine at 62 and I regret it every month when I see that tiny check.
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Lucas Bey
•Yes, he was the primary earner during our marriage and continued in a high-paying career after our divorce, while I had to restart my career. So his benefit should be substantially higher. I appreciate the advice about waiting - I'm trying to determine if I can hold out until my FRA. It's just so confusing trying to figure out the best time to claim!
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Brianna Schmidt
The rules are different for ex-spouse survivor benefits versus regular divorced spouse benefits. For SURVIVOR benefits (if he passes away), you could claim as early as 60 with a reduction, or at your FRA for the full amount. And no, your ex won't be notified when you apply - the SSA keeps that information confidential. Also worth noting: if you work while collecting ANY type of SS benefit before your FRA, you'll be subject to the earnings limit ($22,320 in 2025), and they'll withhold $1 for every $2 you earn above that amount.
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Lucas Bey
•Oh that's a relief about the confidentiality! And I didn't know about the survivor benefits being available earlier at 60. The earnings limit is good to know too since I'm still working part-time. There are so many rules and exceptions - it feels like you need a degree just to understand your Social Security options!
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Caleb Stark
my friend said u can get divorced spouse benefits at ANY age if ur caring for the ex's child under 16!! is that true??
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Harper Thompson
•That's partially correct, but applies to a very specific situation. If you're caring for a child under 16 (or disabled) who is receiving benefits on your ex-spouse's record, you might qualify for benefits regardless of your age. However, this wouldn't apply to the original poster since she mentioned being 61 with a divorce that happened in 2004, so any children would likely be adults by now.
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Jade O'Malley
I'd recommend creating a my Social Security account online if you haven't already. You can see your estimated benefit amounts based on your own work record at different claiming ages. For planning purposes, you can estimate the ex-spouse benefit would be up to 50% of his full retirement age benefit (if you wait until your FRA to claim). If you start at 62, you'd get approximately 32.5% of his FRA benefit. Remember that you'll always get the higher of either your own benefit or the divorced spouse benefit - SSA doesn't combine them.
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Lucas Bey
•I do have a my Social Security account but it only shows estimates based on my own work record. Is there any way to see what I might get from my ex's record without contacting him? I'm trying to make retirement plans and would prefer to have real numbers to work with.
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Brianna Schmidt
Unfortunately, you won't be able to see estimates based on your ex's record online. You'll need to speak with an SSA representative who can access that information. They'll need his Social Security number, or at minimum his date of birth and full name. If you don't have his SSN, the SSA can usually locate his record with the other information plus details about your marriage like date and location. And to clarify one point from earlier comments: for divorced spouse benefits, you're eligible for up to 50% of his FRA benefit amount IF you wait until your own FRA to claim. It's not automatically 50% - it depends on your claiming age.
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Lucas Bey
•Thank you! I do have his SSN from our marriage, so that should help. I guess I really need to speak with someone at SSA to get the specific numbers for my situation. Sounds like waiting until my FRA would give me the best benefit amount, but I'll need to see if that's financially feasible for me.
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Hunter Edmunds
BEWARE!! My friend claimed on her ex's record and then he found out somehow and it caused HUGE DRAMA between them and their adult kids!!! I don't know how he found out since SSA supposedly keeps it confidential but he DID!! Just be prepared for potential fallout!!!
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Harper Thompson
•This would be unusual. The SSA does not notify your ex-spouse when you claim on their record, and their benefits are not affected in any way by your claim. It's possible your friend's ex-spouse found out through other means or simply assumed it when they reached claiming age. Rest assured, claiming divorced spouse benefits has no impact on the amount your ex receives or any benefits their current spouse might receive.
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Andrew Pinnock
When you go to apply make SURE you specifically ask about the ex-spouse benefit. Sometimes the SSA reps don't automatically check if you qualify for divorced spouse benefits if you don't ask!!! happened to my sister and she missed out on higher payments for 8 months before someone told her to specifically request the comparison!!
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Lucas Bey
•Thanks for this tip! I'll definitely make sure to specifically ask about comparing my benefit to what I could get from my ex's record. It's concerning that they might not automatically check this - seems like something that should be standard procedure.
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