Just wanted to add one more consideration that might be relevant - if your mom's boyfriend is currently 62 and taking reduced benefits, his monthly payment will continue to be reduced for the rest of his life. However, when he passes away (hopefully many years from now), your mom as his surviving spouse would be eligible for survivor benefits based on what he WOULD have received at his full retirement age, not his reduced amount. So even if the spousal benefit doesn't help her now, the marriage could still provide valuable survivor protection down the road. This is different from the spousal benefit calculation and something else to factor into their decision. Of course, nobody likes to think about these scenarios, but it's part of the overall financial picture when considering remarriage at this stage of life.

Great thread with lots of helpful information! I just wanted to add that when your mom calls SSA to get the estimate, she should also ask about the "deemed filing" rules. Since she's already receiving her own retirement benefit and is past full retirement age, if she does become eligible for a spousal benefit after marriage, SSA will automatically pay her the higher of the two amounts. But it's still worth understanding exactly how they calculate everything so there are no surprises. Also, if they do decide to get married, make sure to keep good records of the marriage date since SSA will need proof of the marriage duration when she applies for any spousal benefits. A certified copy of the marriage certificate will be required. Good luck to your mom - it sounds like you're doing a great job helping her navigate this complex decision!

you should check out ABLE accounts if you get disability!! we set one up for my husband and it lets you save money without losing benefits. theres income limits for SSI but not SSDI but the ABLE account is still helpful for planning

I'm going through a similar situation right now at 59 with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Based on my research and consultation with a disability attorney, here's what I've learned that might help you: First, start documenting EVERYTHING now - keep a daily symptom journal, get regular medical appointments, and make sure your doctors are noting functional limitations, not just diagnoses. The SSA wants to see how your conditions prevent you from working ANY job, not just your current one. Second, consider applying for SSDI while you're still working if your condition worsens. You can work part-time and earn up to $1,550/month (2025 limit) during the application process without it affecting your claim. Third, regarding your wife's potential spousal benefits - she could claim on your SSDI record starting at 62, but it would be reduced. However, if she also qualifies for SSDI on her own record, that might be more advantageous since there's no age reduction for disability benefits. One thing that really opened my eyes: my attorney said to think of SSDI as "pre-paying" for your full retirement benefit. You've already earned it through your work credits, and disability just lets you access it early without the typical early retirement penalties. The process is daunting, but don't let that discourage you from applying if you genuinely can't work. Start gathering your medical records now - you'll need them either way.

I'm dealing with a similar situation right now! My husband just turned 66 and we were planning to file for his Social Security next month while continuing to max out our HSA contributions. I had NO idea about this automatic Medicare Part A enrollment issue until I saw your post. This is exactly the kind of critical information that should be prominently displayed on the Social Security application forms and website. Instead, it's buried in fine print that most people miss. We've been contributing to our HSA for 8 years specifically as part of our retirement healthcare strategy, and now we have to completely recalculate our plans. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's saving us from making the same costly mistake. We're going to delay his Social Security filing until we're ready to give up the HSA contributions. It's frustrating that the system forces this either/or choice when many people could benefit from both programs simultaneously.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - it's one of the most frustrating "gotcha" rules in the entire Social Security/Medicare system. What happened to you is unfortunately very common and perfectly legal, even though it feels completely unfair. The SSA agent was correct that you cannot decline Medicare Part A while receiving Social Security retirement benefits after age 65. This is mandated by federal law and there are no exceptions. The decline option you saw during your SS application only applies to Medicare Parts B and D, not Part A. For your HSA situation, you'll want to act quickly to avoid penalties. Contact your HSA administrator and request an "excess contribution correction" for any contributions made after your Medicare Part A effective date (October 2024). They'll calculate any earnings on those excess contributions that also need to be withdrawn. As long as you complete this before your tax filing deadline (including extensions), you can avoid the 6% penalty entirely. The silver lining is that your wife can still contribute to the HSA at the individual rate since she doesn't have Medicare coverage yet. And all your existing HSA funds remain available for tax-free medical expenses throughout retirement. This rule really needs better disclosure - too many people get blindsided by it when they're just trying to optimize their retirement planning.

As someone who just went through a similar situation with my own divorce, I can confirm what others have said here. The key thing to remember is that Social Security looks at your marital status at the time you apply for benefits, not what happened in between. Your ex-wife can absolutely claim on your record since you were married 17 years (well over the 10-year requirement) and she's currently unmarried after her second divorce ended. The length of that second marriage doesn't matter at all - could have been 6 months or 6 years. However, given what you mentioned about her being a teacher with a pension, the Government Pension Offset (GPO) that Miguel mentioned could be a major factor. GPO can significantly reduce or even eliminate spousal benefits for people receiving government pensions. She really needs to get specific calculations from SSA to see if claiming on your record would even provide any benefit after GPO is applied. My advice: both of you should create accounts on ssa.gov to see your estimated benefits, and then she should definitely speak with an SSA representative about how GPO would affect her situation specifically.

I'm dealing with a somewhat similar situation right now. My ex-husband and I were married for 12 years before divorcing in 2018. He remarried in 2020, but I heard through mutual friends that he's now separated and likely heading for divorce. From what I understand based on the responses here, if his second marriage officially ends, I would still be eligible to claim on his record when I reach 62 (I'm 58 now) since our marriage exceeded 10 years and I've remained unmarried. Is that correct? It's honestly frustrating how complicated these rules are. I've been putting off learning about Social Security benefits because it seemed so confusing, but reading this thread has been really helpful in understanding the basics. The GPO issue doesn't apply to me since I work in the private sector, but I can see how that would complicate things significantly for teachers and other government employees. Thanks to everyone sharing their knowledge and experiences - it's much clearer now than trying to navigate the SSA website alone!

One more consideration: have you checked if you might qualify for spousal benefits instead of your own? Sometimes that can be higher depending on your situation. Also, filing at 62 permanently reduces any potential survivor benefits your spouse might receive if you pass away first. Worth discussing with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security strategies before you pull the trigger.

Just wanted to add my experience - I filed at 62 last year and the amount on my statement was exactly what I received (before Medicare deductions). One tip: apply about 3 months before you want your first payment to start. The process was actually smoother than I expected, but it does take time to process. Also double-check your earnings record online before applying - I found an error from 2019 that would have cost me about $15/month for life if I hadn't caught it. The SSA corrected it pretty quickly once I provided my W-2. Good luck with your decision!