Just got married and shocked by high additional withholdings - is this normal?

This is actually pretty common for newly married couples with dual incomes. The "marriage bonus" people talk about usually applies when there's a big income disparity between spouses or when one spouse doesn't work. When both spouses work and have somewhat similar incomes, you can actually experience what's called the "marriage penalty" where your combined tax situation is worse than if you were single. This happens because your combined income pushes you into higher tax brackets. The withholding calculator is trying to make sure you don't underpay throughout the year. If you don't withhold enough, you could face a big tax bill and possibly penalties when you file. One thing you could do is run some numbers through a tax estimator that compares your tax liability married vs if you'd stayed single. This will give you a clearer picture of whether you're actually paying more tax overall or if it's just a withholding timing issue.

I just went through this same exact shock after getting married last year! I tried the IRS withholding calculator and nearly passed out when I saw the number. What helped me was using taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai). I uploaded our previous year's returns and our current pay stubs, and it did a much better job explaining what was happening with our withholdings. It showed us exactly where the marriage penalty was hitting us and gave some options for adjusting our withholdings in a way that wouldn't completely destroy our monthly budget. The visualization tool they have was super helpful because it showed us what would happen if we adjusted withholdings by different amounts, including any potential penalties. Way more user-friendly than the government calculator!

Wanted to follow up here. I was skeptical about taxr.ai but decided to give it a try when our accountant said he couldn't meet until next month. It was actually really eye-opening! The tool showed us that we were heading toward underpaying by almost $5k this year. But instead of panicking and withholding the full recommended amount, it helped us figure out a more balanced approach. We're now withholding about $500 extra monthly instead of the $900+ the IRS calculator suggested. The marriage penalty is real for our income levels but not as bad as the IRS calculator made it seem. Definitely worth checking out if you're in a similar situation.

Let me share something that might help. After our first year married, we owed over $3k to the IRS and I spent WEEKS trying to get someone on the phone for help. Finally found Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) which got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The agent walked me through exactly how to adjust our withholdings so we wouldn't be surprised again. She explained that the marriage penalty hits hardest when both spouses earn similar amounts, and gave us specific numbers to put on our W4 forms that were actually different than what the calculator suggested. It was so much more helpful talking to an actual human who could understand our specific situation rather than just using the online calculator.

I have to eat my words about Claimyr. After posting my skeptical comment, I spent two days trying to reach the IRS myself. Called 9 times, got disconnected 8 times, and spent a total of about 7 hours on hold. Finally tried Claimyr out of frustration, and no joke, I was talking to an IRS agent 15 minutes later. The agent explained that our withholding situation was actually more complicated because of how our specific employers calculate withholding, and gave us custom amounts that were about $300 less per month than the calculator suggested. Definitely worth it just for the peace of mind knowing we're on the right track now. Won't be going back to the "call and pray" method again.

One option to consider is changing your withholding now but not by the full amount. Maybe do half of what they recommend ($420-ish extra per month) and then reassess mid-year. The withholding calculator tends to be pretty conservative because its job is to make sure you don't underpay. If you're willing to potentially owe a bit at tax time (but hopefully avoid the underpayment penalty), this approach gives you more monthly cash flow. Also worth noting that there can be benefits to married filing that aren't reflected in just the tax rates - like higher thresholds for certain deductions and credits. Those might help offset some of the "marriage penalty" effect.

We had the same shock after getting married! What helped us was adjusting how we fill out our W4 forms. Try selecting "Married but withhold at higher single rate" on your W4s instead of just "Married." This often solves the problem without having to do additional withholding. Our payroll department explained this option exists specifically for dual-income couples to avoid the underwithholding surprise. If you still need some additional withholding after that, it probably won't be nearly as much as $847/month.

Just another perspective - my wife and I went through this same issue. We decided to just withhold the extra amount for the first year of marriage, which yes, was painful monthly. But then we got a big fat refund that we used for a delayed honeymoon! Now we have a better idea of our married tax situation and have adjusted our withholdings to be more accurate. The first year is definitely the hardest because everything is new and you don't have a married tax return to use as reference. Whatever you decide, just know it gets easier in future years once you have a baseline to work from!