How much will marriage cost us in taxes as a single mom?
I've been raising my son as a single mom for 13 years and have always filed as Head of Household during tax season. For 2025, my standard deduction will be approximately $27,000. My boyfriend files as Single with a standard deduction around $18,000. We've been talking about getting married, but I'm worried about the financial impact. Looking at the numbers, our combined standard deductions right now total around $45,000. If we get married and file jointly, our standard deduction would only be about $36,000. That's a difference of $9,000! I did some rough calculations including our other deductions and credits, and it looks like we'd be paying several thousand more in taxes just for being married. Is this right? Are there any benefits to filing as married that might offset this penalty? Or strategies to minimize the impact? I really want to marry this man but the tax hit seems unfair. Any advice would be appreciated!
22 comments


Olivia Kay
Yes, what you're describing is commonly known as the "marriage penalty." It doesn't affect everyone, but it can definitely impact couples in your situation where one person is filing as Head of Household. The standard deduction difference is just one part of it. There are other factors to consider too. For example, when you're married filing jointly, you might move into a higher tax bracket faster than you would as separate filers. On the flip side, there can be some benefits to marriage from a tax perspective - like potentially qualifying for different credits or deductions that you couldn't access before. Have you considered calculating your taxes both ways - as if you were married filing jointly AND as if you were married filing separately? Sometimes filing separately can help reduce the penalty, though you do lose access to certain credits that way.
0 coins
Joshua Hellan
•I thought the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act eliminated the marriage penalty? Didn't they adjust the tax brackets to be exactly double for married couples compared to singles?
0 coins
Olivia Kay
•The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act reduced the marriage penalty for many couples, but didn't eliminate it completely. While they did adjust many of the tax brackets to be double for married couples, there are still situations where a penalty can occur. The Head of Household filing status is where some of the biggest disparities remain. Since that status offers bigger standard deductions and more favorable tax brackets than Single status, combining two incomes into one joint return can sometimes result in higher taxes than filing separately. Additionally, various credits and deductions phase out based on income levels, which can create effective penalties when two incomes are combined.
0 coins
Jibriel Kohn
I was in a similar situation last year and discovered taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) which helped me figure out the real impact of getting married on our taxes. I was worried about the same "marriage penalty" you mentioned, especially since I was filing as Head of Household with two kids. The tool analyzed both our tax situations and showed exactly how much we'd gain or lose by getting married and filing different ways. It was way more accurate than my spreadsheet calculations! It even identified several deductions we hadn't considered that helped offset some of the penalty. What really helped was seeing a side-by-side comparison of all four scenarios (staying single, married filing jointly, married filing separately, and what would happen if we waited until the next year to marry). Made the decision much clearer.
0 coins
Edison Estevez
•Does it handle state taxes too? I'm in California and I heard the marriage penalty can be even worse at the state level.
0 coins
Emily Nguyen-Smith
•I'm skeptical of tax tools. How does this compare to just using TurboTax or H&R Block to run the numbers both ways?
0 coins
Jibriel Kohn
•Yes, it does handle state taxes! That was actually a huge benefit for me because the state-level impact wasn't something I had initially considered. It shows both federal and state calculations side by side. The main difference from tax prep software is that taxr.ai is specifically designed to compare different filing scenarios and life events like marriage. It's much quicker than entering all your information into TurboTax multiple times with different scenarios. It also provides explanations about why certain deductions or credits change when your filing status changes, which helped me understand the "why" behind the numbers.
0 coins
Emily Nguyen-Smith
I was really skeptical about using specialized tax tools, but I finally tried taxr.ai after seeing it mentioned here. Honestly, I'm glad I did. My fiancée and I were facing a similar situation - I have a child and file Head of Household while she files Single. The tool showed us that getting married in December vs. January would make a $3,200 difference in our taxes! We could literally save thousands by shifting our wedding date by a few weeks. It also identified several tax credits we could maximize by timing certain expenses differently. What surprised me most was learning that some of our deductions would actually improve after marriage, which offset part of the standard deduction loss. Definitely worth checking out if you're trying to make this decision.
0 coins
James Johnson
If you're trying to get specific information about your marriage penalty situation from the IRS directly, good luck getting through to anyone who can help. I spent WEEKS trying to get clarification on how changing my filing status would affect my child tax credits. I finally used Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) to actually get through to a real IRS agent. They have this service where they basically wait on hold with the IRS for you, then call you when they get an agent on the line. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent I spoke with was surprisingly helpful and walked me through exactly how my specific situation would change if I got married. She pointed out several things that none of the online calculators had mentioned about how my earned income credit would be affected.
0 coins
Sophia Rodriguez
•Wait, there's a service that waits on hold for you? How does that even work? Last time I called the IRS I was on hold for over 2 hours before giving up.
0 coins
Mia Green
•Sounds like a scam. Why would I pay someone else to call the IRS when I can just do it myself? And how do they get through any faster than regular people?
0 coins
James Johnson
•It uses a system that basically keeps your place in line with the IRS. You enter your phone number, and when they reach an actual IRS agent, the system calls you and connects you directly to that agent. No more sitting on hold for hours! They don't get through any faster than regular people - they're in the same queue as everyone else. The difference is their system is waiting in that queue instead of you having to keep your phone tied up. I was able to go about my day, and when my phone rang, I was connected to an IRS agent within seconds. Totally worth it because I got specific answers about my situation that saved me way more than the service cost.
0 coins
Mia Green
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I tried that Claimyr service after seeing it mentioned here, and it actually worked. I was 100% convinced it had to be a scam - like why would anyone pay for something they could do themselves? But after my third attempt to reach the IRS failed (disconnected after 90+ minutes on hold), I gave in and tried it. Got a call back in about 40 minutes with an actual IRS agent on the line. The agent gave me detailed information about how the married filing separately option would work in my case with rental properties involved. Turns out the "marriage penalty" for my situation wasn't as bad as I thought because of how our incomes interact with certain deduction phaseouts. Would never have known this without speaking directly to someone who could look at my specific situation.
0 coins
Emma Bianchi
Have you considered timing your marriage strategically? My accountant advised us to get married on January 1st rather than December 31st, which gave us an extra year of filing with the more advantageous statuses. Your tax filing status is determined by your marital status on the last day of the tax year. So if you get married on December 31st, you're considered married for the ENTIRE year. But if you wait just one more day and get married on January 1st, you can still file as Head of Household and Single for the previous year.
0 coins
Henry Delgado
•I hadn't thought about the timing aspect! That's a really good point. So if we're planning a wedding for next winter, we should aim for early January instead of December to get one more year of the better tax treatment?
0 coins
Emma Bianchi
•Exactly! If you're planning a winter wedding, scheduling it for January 1st or later in 2026 would let you file as Head of Household one last time for the 2025 tax year. You'd essentially get one more year of the more favorable tax treatment. It may seem like gaming the system, but it's completely legal and a common strategy recommended by tax professionals. Just make sure to consider non-tax factors too - like health insurance benefits, which might start the month after your marriage. Sometimes the health insurance savings from being married outweigh the tax differences.
0 coins
Lucas Kowalski
The marriage penalty sucks, but don't let taxes be the only factor in your decision to get married! My partner and I were in a similar situation - I was HOH with one dependent, he was Single. We calculated about $3,800 more in taxes if we got married. BUT - there are non-tax benefits that might offset this. My husband's health insurance was WAY better than mine, and adding me as a spouse saved us about $2,200 a year compared to my individual plan. Also consider things like: - Social Security survivor benefits - Retirement account benefits for spouses - Legal protections for medical decisions - Estate planning advantages
0 coins
Olivia Martinez
•This is a great point! Plus what about buying a house together? Isn't there a tax advantage to being married when you sell a primary residence?
0 coins
Aria Washington
You're absolutely right to be concerned about the marriage penalty - it's a real issue that affects many couples, especially when one person qualifies for Head of Household status. A few things to consider beyond just the standard deduction difference: 1. **Income-based credit phaseouts**: When you combine incomes, you might lose eligibility for credits like the Earned Income Tax Credit or Child Tax Credit that you currently qualify for. 2. **Tax bracket considerations**: Your combined income might push you into higher tax brackets faster than if you filed separately. 3. **Married Filing Separately option**: While you'd lose some benefits, this might reduce the penalty in your specific situation. You'd need to run the numbers both ways. 4. **Timing strategy**: Since marital status is determined on December 31st, you could potentially delay your wedding until January to get one more year of favorable tax treatment. I'd strongly recommend getting a professional tax projection done with your actual numbers before making this decision. The rough calculations can be misleading because there are so many variables that interact with each other. A tax professional can show you exactly what the impact would be and might identify strategies to minimize it. Don't let taxes be the only factor, but definitely factor them into your overall financial planning for marriage!
0 coins
Andre Laurent
I went through this exact situation two years ago! As a single mom filing Head of Household, I was terrified about the marriage penalty. What I discovered is that while yes, there IS a penalty in terms of standard deductions and tax brackets, the real-world impact depends heavily on your specific income levels and deductions. Here's what helped me: I tracked down every possible deduction and credit change that would happen. For example, if your boyfriend has student loan interest or other deductions that you can't currently claim, those might help offset some of the penalty when you file jointly. Also, look into whether your combined income would still qualify for credits like the Child Tax Credit - sometimes the income limits are higher for married couples. The timing suggestion others mentioned is huge. We actually moved our wedding from December to February specifically to get one more year of Head of Household status. That one decision saved us over $4,000. Bottom line: run the actual numbers with a tax professional who can look at your complete picture. The marriage penalty is real, but there are often ways to minimize it that aren't obvious from just looking at standard deductions.
0 coins
Logan Chiang
•This is really helpful to hear from someone who actually went through it! I'm curious about the student loan interest deduction you mentioned - how does that work when you're married filing jointly? Right now my boyfriend pays student loan interest but I don't have any student loans. Would we be able to deduct his interest on a joint return even though it's not my debt? Also, when you say you worked with a tax professional, did you find someone who specializes in marriage penalty situations, or would any CPA be able to help with this kind of analysis? I want to make sure I'm getting advice from someone who really understands these nuances.
0 coins
Samantha Johnson
•Yes, when you're married filing jointly, you can deduct student loan interest that either spouse paid, even if only one spouse is legally obligated to pay it. So your boyfriend's student loan interest would be deductible on your joint return. The limit is $2,500 per year, and it phases out at higher income levels (around $70K-$85K for single filers, $145K-$175K for joint filers in 2025). As for finding a tax professional, I'd recommend looking for an Enrolled Agent (EA) or CPA who specifically mentions tax planning services, not just tax preparation. The key is finding someone who will do projections and "what-if" scenarios rather than just preparing your return. I found mine through the National Association of Tax Professionals directory and specifically asked during the consultation if they had experience with marriage penalty analysis. A good tax pro should be excited to run multiple scenarios for you - if they seem reluctant or say "just get married and we'll figure it out," find someone else!
0 coins