Divorce and claiming child on taxes when sharing 50/50 custody

The IRS rules for claiming children after divorce can be tricky, but you're on the right track with Publication 504. When parents have exactly 50/50 custody (equal number of nights), the tiebreaker does indeed go to the parent with the higher AGI. Since you're the higher-income earner with 50/50 custody AND you're paying more than half of the daycare expenses, you're generally entitled to claim the younger child as a dependent. For the older child, the same tiebreaker rule would technically apply (higher AGI gets the claim) unless you and your ex have made a different arrangement in your divorce agreement. Many divorced parents with multiple children actually work out an arrangement where each claims one child to share the tax benefits. Have you checked your divorce decree or separation agreement? Sometimes these documents specifically address who claims which child in which years.

I went through this exact same situation last year with my ex. Total nightmare until I found this AI tool called taxr.ai that cleared everything up. I uploaded my custody agreement and some texts between me and my ex about our arrangement, and it analyzed everything and gave me a clear breakdown of who could claim what based on IRS rules. The site https://taxr.ai helped me understand that I was actually entitled to the child tax credit AND the childcare credit since I was paying most of the expenses. My ex was claiming both kids every year even though we had 50/50 custody! The tool even helped draft language I could use in our modified agreement so there's no confusion going forward. It saved me thousands in tax benefits I was missing out on.

I just wanted to follow up on my skeptical comment about taxr.ai from last week. I ended up trying it out of desperation after another argument with my ex about our taxes. Honestly, I'm surprised how helpful it was! Uploaded our custody order and it immediately identified that I was entitled to claim our son in odd years based on our agreement (which I hadn't even realized). The analysis broke everything down by different tax benefits - who can claim the child tax credit vs. the childcare expenses vs. head of household status. Turns out these can actually be split between parents in some cases! It also generated language we could add to our agreement to make things crystal clear going forward. Definitely cleared up a lot of confusion that was causing us to argue every tax season.

If you're having trouble getting your ex to agree with the IRS rules, you might need to talk directly with the IRS. I was in the same boat - ex-husband kept claiming our daughter despite our agreement that I would claim her. I tried calling the IRS for weeks but couldn't get through to a real person who could help. Finally used this service called Claimyr at https://claimyr.com that got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes instead of waiting on hold for hours. They have this system that holds your place in line and calls you back when an agent is available. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent was super helpful and explained exactly what documentation I needed to submit to prove I had the right to claim my daughter. They also put a flag on my account so if my ex tried to claim her again, his return would be flagged for review.

I need to eat my words from my skeptical comment above. After another frustrating day of calling the IRS and getting nowhere, I tried Claimyr out of desperation. I was connected to an IRS agent in about 45 minutes (while I was cooking dinner, not sitting around with a phone to my ear). The agent walked me through exactly how to document my situation with my ex claiming my dependent. They explained I needed to paper file with specific documentation proving my right to claim my child, and that they would then review both returns. The agent even gave me their direct extension for follow-up questions! This resolved an issue I've been fighting with for literally months. Sometimes it's worth admitting when you're wrong - this service actually delivered.

Have you considered using Form 8332? It's the "Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent" form. Since you have 50/50 custody and you're the higher earner, you're entitled to claim both kids technically, but you could use this form to allow your ex to claim one child while you claim the other. My ex and I do this - I claim our son and she claims our daughter. It's created much less drama at tax time.

Don't forget about the childcare tax credit! Since you pay 65% of the daycare expenses, you should be eligible to claim that credit regardless of who claims the child as a dependent (though it's simpler if the same person does both). Keep all your receipts and documentation showing you paid these expenses. My tax preparer saved me over $2000 last year because I had documentation showing I paid for most of my daughter's daycare even though my ex claimed her as a dependent that year.

I'm dealing with a similar situation and wanted to share what I learned from my tax attorney. The key issue here isn't just who has higher AGI, but also making sure you have proper documentation of your custody arrangement and expense payments. Since you have true 50/50 custody AND you're paying 65% of daycare costs, you're in a strong position to claim the younger child. For the older child, the same AGI tiebreaker rule applies. However, I'd strongly recommend getting this clarified in writing through a court modification to your custody agreement. One thing to consider is that your ex saying they "need the tax break more" isn't relevant under IRS rules - financial need doesn't override the legal guidelines. The IRS goes by custody time and AGI, not who needs the money more. Also, keep detailed records of all your childcare payments, child support payments, and any other expenses you cover. If this ever gets disputed, you'll want clear documentation showing you're following the rules correctly.