How to handle Child Tax Credit and filing options after divorce?
Hi everyone, I'm going through my first tax season after finalizing my divorce last year and I'm completely lost about how to handle the Child Tax Credit situation. My ex and I have two kids (8 and 11) and according to our divorce agreement, we alternate claiming them each year. This year is supposedly my turn to claim both children. The problem is my ex is now saying that she should get the Child Tax Credit for our youngest because our kid stayed with her for most weekends last year, even though our agreement clearly states it's my year for tax purposes. We have joint custody but the kids live primarily with me during the week (I have them Monday-Friday). I'm worried about what happens if we both try to claim the same child. Will this trigger an audit? How does the IRS determine who gets to claim the Child Tax Credit if we both try? Also, should I file as Head of Household since the kids live with me most of the time? My ex is threatening to file before me to "lock in" her claim. Is that even a thing? Can she really beat me to claiming our child just by filing first? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
18 comments


Emma Davis
The Child Tax Credit situation can definitely get complicated after divorce. Here's what you need to know: First, your divorce decree doesn't automatically determine who gets to claim the Child Tax Credit in the IRS's eyes. What matters most is who qualifies as the "custodial parent" - typically the parent the child lives with for more nights during the year. Based on your Monday-Friday arrangement, that sounds like you. As the custodial parent, you have the right to claim the Child Tax Credit unless you've signed Form 8332 releasing that claim to your ex. Weekend visits don't change the custodial designation if the kids are with you the majority of nights. Filing first doesn't "lock in" anything - that's a common misconception. If both parents claim the same child, the IRS will eventually catch this discrepancy and likely send notices to both of you. They'll then apply tiebreaker rules, which generally favor the custodial parent. For Head of Household status - yes, you likely qualify if the children live with you more than half the year and you pay more than half the cost of maintaining your home.
0 coins
Malik Johnson
•What about the actual divorce agreement though? Doesn't that carry any legal weight with the IRS? My understanding was that if we specify in our divorce decree who claims the kids in which years, that's enforceable.
0 coins
Emma Davis
•The divorce agreement is definitely legally binding between you and your ex-spouse, but the IRS operates independently from family court agreements. If your agreement says it's your year to claim the children, but your ex claims them anyway, the IRS will apply their own rules first (favoring the custodial parent). If you're the custodial parent and your divorce agreement states it's your year to claim the children, you have both factors in your favor. Your ex would need Form 8332 (Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent) signed by you to properly claim the Child Tax Credit. Without that form, even if she files first, you would prevail in an IRS review.
0 coins
Isabella Ferreira
I went through something similar last year with my ex trying to claim our daughter when it wasn't his year. I was so frustrated trying to figure everything out until I found this AI tax assistant at https://taxr.ai that analyzed my divorce decree and custody arrangement. It showed me exactly how to document my claim properly and what forms I needed. The tool explained that my ex filing first wouldn't matter if I had the proper documentation showing I was the custodial parent. It also helped me understand exactly what the IRS tiebreaker rules were and how they applied to my situation. Saved me hours of research and probably prevented a big headache with the IRS!
0 coins
Ravi Sharma
•Does this service actually look at your specific divorce paperwork? I'm confused about how AI would understand the legal language in my decree - mine has some pretty specific and unusual custody arrangements.
0 coins
NebulaNomad
•I'm skeptical about using AI for something as important as taxes, especially with custody issues. How accurate is it really? Has anyone had the IRS challenge what this service recommended?
0 coins
Isabella Ferreira
•Yes, you can upload your specific divorce paperwork and custody documents, and it analyzes the legal language to help you understand how the IRS would interpret it. It doesn't just give generic advice - it highlights the specific sections that matter for tax purposes. The accuracy has been excellent in my experience. It's not making things up - it's highlighting the relevant IRS rules that apply to your situation and showing you how your documents align with those rules. Many tax professionals actually use similar systems, but this makes it accessible directly to people like us going through complicated situations.
0 coins
NebulaNomad
I have to admit I was really skeptical about using an AI tool for my complicated custody tax situation, but after trying https://taxr.ai I'm genuinely impressed. It saved me from making a huge mistake with how I was planning to file. My situation was similar but with three kids and a modified custody arrangement that changed mid-year. The tool showed me exactly which IRS rules applied to my situation and helped me understand how the custody calendar affected my eligibility for the Child Tax Credit. Even showed me how to document everything properly in case of questions later. My ex and I actually ended up both looking at the analysis together, which completely diffused our disagreement since we were working from the same information. Definitely worth checking out if you're dealing with post-divorce tax complications.
0 coins
Freya Thomsen
After my divorce, I spent WEEKS trying to get someone at the IRS to clarify my Child Tax Credit situation. Constant busy signals, disconnections, and hours on hold. Was about to give up when a friend recommended https://claimyr.com - you can see how it works at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c They got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes (after I'd wasted days trying on my own). The agent confirmed I was right about being able to claim my son based on our custody arrangement, even though my ex-wife had already filed and claimed him. They walked me through exactly what documentation I needed and how to proceed with my filing.
0 coins
Omar Fawaz
•How does this even work? The IRS phone lines are absolutely impossible to get through. Is this some kind of priority line or something? Seems too good to be true.
0 coins
NebulaNomad
•Right, because paying some random service is definitely better than just keeping trying the IRS yourself. This sounds like a total scam to me. Why would anyone pay for something they can do themselves for free?
0 coins
Freya Thomsen
•It's not a priority line - they use technology that continuously redials and navigates the IRS phone system for you. When they get through, they connect the call directly to you. It saves you from having to manually redial hundreds of times and waste hours on hold. They can't guarantee an exact time because it depends on IRS call volume, but in my experience it was around 20 minutes instead of the days I spent trying myself. And no, it's not something you can easily do yourself unless you want to sit there redialing for hours or days. The service exists specifically because it's so difficult to get through on your own.
0 coins
NebulaNomad
I need to apologize for my skepticism earlier. After struggling for THREE DAYS trying to reach the IRS myself about my child tax credit dispute with my ex, I broke down and tried Claimyr. Got connected to an IRS rep in about 30 minutes. The agent confirmed exactly what I needed to do in my situation and explained that since I have the kids more nights per year (I'm the custodial parent), I have the stronger claim regardless of what our informal agreement was. They also explained exactly what documentation I should keep ready in case of any issues. Turns out my ex and I were both misunderstanding a key part of the tax code. Getting actual clarification from an IRS agent made all the difference, and saved us from potentially both getting audited.
0 coins
Chloe Martin
A few years ago I went through this exact same issue with my ex! Here's what I discovered: document EVERYTHING. Keep a calendar showing all the days your kids stayed with you, save receipts for major expenses, and maintain copies of school records showing your address as their primary residence. If your ex files first and incorrectly claims the children, you'll still need to file a paper return (you can't e-file in this case) and include all your documentation. The IRS will review both returns and make a determination. It takes longer to get your refund this way, but it works.
0 coins
Javier Torres
•Thanks for sharing your experience! Did you have any issues with the IRS contacting you after you both claimed the same children? How long did the whole process take to get resolved?
0 coins
Chloe Martin
•Yes, both of us received letters from the IRS about 3 months after filing. They requested additional documentation from each of us to prove our claims. I sent in my custody calendar, school records showing my address, and medical receipts showing I was the one taking them to appointments. The whole process took about 6 months to resolve completely. My refund was held until the determination was made, which was frustrating, but in the end they ruled in my favor since I had the kids more nights of the year. Be prepared for the delay if you go this route - it's not quick, but the IRS does eventually sort it out.
0 coins
Diego Rojas
Be careful with Head of Household filing status! My ex and I had a similar situation and I got audited because we BOTH filed as Head of Household. Make sure only the parent who has the kids for more than half the year (the custodial parent) uses this status. Also, take advantage of the increased Child Tax Credit for 2025! It's up to $2,000 per qualifying child now. And don't forget about the additional child tax credit which is refundable up to $1,600 per qualifying child.
0 coins
Anastasia Sokolov
•Wait I thought the Child Tax Credit was $2,000 in previous years but was INCREASED to $3,000 (or $3,600 for kids under 6) for 2025? Did I miss something? That's a big difference!
0 coins