Complicated tax question about claiming dependent children - Need help or advice
I'm really struggling with a tax situation and could use some guidance. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for around 3.5 years now. For the past couple of years, her father has claimed her children as dependents on his taxes, but he's decided he doesn't want to do that anymore. She has primary custody of the kids, and we're concerned that their non-custodial parent might try to claim them this tax season. We're considering filing together this year, but I'm worried about getting audited. Our living arrangement is a bit unusual - we don't actually live under the same roof, but I do help her financially with bills and other household expenses whenever needed. I work full-time, while she receives child support and SSI benefits for her children. I'd really like to know if there's a way for me to claim her children as dependents without risking an audit. Or would it be better if she claimed them herself? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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Sebastián Stevens
This is actually a common situation, though it does have some complications. Let me break it down: First, since you don't live with your girlfriend and her children, you likely don't meet the IRS residency test for claiming them as dependents. To claim someone as a dependent, they generally need to live with you for more than half the year. Your girlfriend absolutely can claim her own children as dependents since she's the custodial parent. She has primary right to claim them over the non-custodial parent, unless there's a specific agreement in place (like Form 8332) that gives the non-custodial parent the right to claim them. If the non-custodial parent tries to claim the children without proper documentation, and your girlfriend also claims them (which is her right as the custodial parent), the IRS will likely flag both returns. The second filer will likely receive a notice and may need to file an amended return.
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Bethany Groves
•But what if they got married and filed jointly? Would that change anything about who can claim the kids?
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Sebastián Stevens
•If they got married and filed jointly, that would change the situation significantly. When filing a joint return as a married couple, dependent children of either spouse can be claimed on that return. This would be true even if they weren't living together full-time, as married couples are still considered a family unit for tax purposes. However, they'd need to be legally married by December 31st of the tax year to file jointly for that year. Simply being in a relationship, regardless of how long, doesn't qualify them to file jointly or for one person to claim the other's children as dependents without meeting the regular dependency tests.
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KingKongZilla
I was in a similar situation last year and found taxr.ai incredibly helpful for figuring out these complicated dependent situations. I was confused about who could claim my stepchildren after a custody change, and the IRS documentation was just making me more confused. I uploaded our documents to https://taxr.ai and got a clear explanation of what rules applied in our situation and what forms we needed. The tool analyzes your specific situation against all the tax rules about dependents and tells you exactly who can claim the children. It even explained what documentation we should keep on hand in case of an audit! Saved me hours of research and probably a lot of headache down the road.
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Rebecca Johnston
•Does it work with SSI income too? My sister gets SSI for her kid and always has trouble figuring out how that affects her taxes.
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Nathan Dell
•This seems suspicious. How does it actually know the custody arrangement? Does it just use what you tell it or does it somehow verify things?
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KingKongZilla
•Yes, it handles SSI income too! The tool asks relevant questions about all income sources including benefits like SSI, and it factors that into its analysis. It helped me understand which benefits are taxable and which aren't, which was really helpful. For custody arrangements, it asks detailed questions about living situations, custody agreements, and support provided. It doesn't independently verify this information - you need to provide accurate information just like you would on your tax return. But it does explain exactly what documentation you should keep to support your claims if questioned by the IRS.
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Rebecca Johnston
Just wanted to follow up - I ended up using taxr.ai after seeing it mentioned here and it was exactly what I needed! My sister was confused about how her child's SSI affected her eligibility for certain tax credits, and the tool walked her through everything step by step. It even caught that she was eligible for the Child and Dependent Care Credit which she didn't know about! Really helpful for complex family situations where there's multiple sources of support and income. Definitely recommend for anyone dealing with dependent questions like the original poster.
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Maya Jackson
If you're worried about getting audited because of this dependent situation, you should definitely try to talk to the IRS directly before filing. I know that sounds impossible - I spent WEEKS trying to get through on their phone lines last year for a similar issue. Then a friend told me about Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) and showed me how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c Basically, they get you through the IRS phone queue and have an actual agent call you back, usually within a day. I used it to get a definitive answer about claiming my niece after my sister moved in with us. The agent explained exactly what forms we needed and how to document everything properly. Way better than guessing or getting conflicting advice online.
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Tristan Carpenter
•How does this actually work? The IRS phone system is notoriously terrible. Are they somehow jumping the queue or what?
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Amaya Watson
•Yeah right. No way this actually works. I've spent hours on hold with the IRS and eventually get disconnected. There's no magical way to get through unless you know someone who works there.
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Maya Jackson
•It works by using an automated system that navigates the IRS phone tree and waits on hold for you. When an agent finally answers, Claimyr's system calls you and connects you directly to that IRS agent. They essentially do the waiting for you so you don't have to stay on the phone for hours. It's completely legitimate - they're not "jumping" any queues or doing anything improper. They're just using technology to handle the wait time. The IRS doesn't care who waits on hold, as long as it's the actual taxpayer who speaks with the agent, which it is.
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Amaya Watson
I have to apologize and eat my words. After my skeptical comment, I was desperate enough to try Claimyr because my ex and I were fighting over who could claim our daughter. I was sure it would be a waste of money but I was getting nowhere with the regular IRS line. It actually worked exactly as described. I got a call back within about 3 hours with an actual IRS agent on the line. They explained that as the custodial parent, I had the right to claim my daughter, and exactly what documentation I needed if my ex tried to claim her too. The agent even sent me the specific forms I needed to have ready. Saved me so much stress and potentially thousands in tax benefits. Sometimes you have to admit when you're wrong!
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Grant Vikers
Another important factor is that if your girlfriend's father claimed the kids before, and now suddenly someone else claims them, it might trigger a closer look from the IRS. They tend to notice pattern changes like that. If your girlfriend is the custodial parent, she has the strongest claim legally unless she's signed Form 8332 giving the right to the non-custodial parent. Make sure she has documentation of how long the children live with her - school records, medical records, etc. Also, since she receives SSI for the children, that's already documented with the government, which strengthens her position as the custodial parent. Keep in mind that SSI income is generally not taxable, but it can affect other benefits.
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Giovanni Martello
•Do you know if the father claiming them before will cause problems even if he never had the legal right to do so? My cousin let her parents claim her kid but now she wants to claim him herself.
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Grant Vikers
•If the grandfather claimed the children in previous years without having the legal right to do so (meaning without meeting the dependency tests or having proper documentation), then yes, it could potentially cause some questions when your cousin claims her own child. However, this doesn't mean she shouldn't claim her own child if she's legally entitled to. The IRS might send notices asking for clarification if they see a pattern change, but if your cousin is the custodial parent and meets all the tests for claiming her child, she should be able to claim them without issue. She should just be prepared to provide documentation showing that the child lives with her if asked. This could include school records, medical records, or other official documents showing the child's residence.
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Savannah Weiner
Has anyone used TurboTax for a situation like this? Their interview process seemed confusing when I tried to explain a similar situation last year.
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Levi Parker
•I used TurboTax last year for a somewhat similar situation with my girlfriend's kids. The key is to answer their questions literally and not overthink it. When they ask if someone "can" claim you as a dependent, that's a legal question about whether anyone meets the tests to claim you, not whether someone actually will claim you. Make sure to go through their special situations section too if your standard living arrangement doesn't fit their initial questions. It gets more detailed there.
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