After divorce last year, can my ex and I each claim one kid on taxes or does one parent have to claim both children?

Hey all, going through my first tax season after finalizing my divorce last summer. My ex and I have two children (ages 8 and 11) and we share custody with a pretty even split (I have them Thursday-Sunday, they're with their other parent Monday-Wednesday). We're trying to figure out the most sensible way to handle claiming them on our taxes. Can we each claim one child as a dependent? I was thinking I'd claim our oldest and they'd claim our youngest. Or does one of us have to claim both kids? We didn't specify anything about this in our divorce agreement (big oversight, I know). Our custody arrangement is technically 57/43 split in my favor if that matters. I'm the one who pays for their health insurance through my employer if that's relevant too. We both contribute to their school expenses and activities pretty evenly. Just want to make sure we're doing this right and not setting ourselves up for problems with the IRS. Thanks for any advice!

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19 comments

Liam Murphy

•8M

The IRS has specific rules for divorced parents claiming children. According to their guidelines, the "custodial parent" (the one the child lives with for more nights during the year) generally has the right to claim the child as a dependent. With your 57/43 split, you would technically be the custodial parent for both children. However, the custodial parent can release their claim to the exemption by filling out Form 8332 (Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent). This would allow your ex to claim one or both children. So yes, you can split the dependency claims with one child each, but the non-custodial parent needs the custodial parent's permission via Form 8332. Without this form, the IRS would side with you as the custodial parent if both of you tried to claim the same child.

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Liam Murphy

•8M

You can complete Form 8332 for a single year, specific years, or for all future years. Many divorced parents choose the multi-year option to avoid annual paperwork. The non-custodial parent must attach this form to their tax return when claiming the child. Regarding head of household status, the custodial parent can still claim head of household even after releasing the dependency exemption to the non-custodial parent. That's because head of household status is based on having a qualifying person live with you for more than half the year, which is still true even if you don't claim them as a dependent for tax purposes.

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CaptainAwesome

•8M

After my divorce, I was struggling with the exact same issue and couldn't get clear answers from anywhere. I tried a few online forums but got conflicting advice. Finally, I found https://taxr.ai and uploaded my divorce decree, custody schedule, and tax questions. The AI analyzed everything and provided me with personalized guidance specific to my situation. It helped me understand I could file as head of household even though my ex claimed one of our kids. It also explained exactly what documentation we needed since our custody was split pretty evenly like yours. The site doesn't just give generic advice - it looks at your specific documents and situation.

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CaptainAwesome

•8M

The accuracy has been spot-on in my experience. The AI uses IRS publications and tax code directly to provide its guidance. I actually double-checked its recommendations with my tax preparer who confirmed everything was correct. They source all advice from actual tax regulations so it's not just making things up. For complicated situations like yours, the AI does recommend when you should consult with a tax professional. It's transparent about what it can confidently answer versus what might need additional expertise. I used it as a first step to understand my options before talking to my CPA, which saved me money on billable hours.

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Yuki Tanaka

•8M

I want to follow up about my experience with taxr.ai after asking about it earlier. I decided to try it with my complicated custody situation (split almost 50/50 with my ex but days vary each month). Uploaded our parenting plan and some texts showing actual time spent with the kids. The service helped me figure out I was actually the custodial parent for both kids even though my ex had been claiming one on taxes for years! It showed me exactly which IRS rules applied to my situation and explained how to document everything properly. I was even able to download a detailed report to share with my ex so we could fix things without drama. Definitely made this tax season less stressful than the past two since our divorce.

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Klaus Schmidt

•8M

If you're having trouble reaching the IRS to get clarity on your specific situation (which is likely since their phone lines are impossible), I'd recommend using https://claimyr.com to get through to an actual IRS agent. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I spent days trying to reach someone at the IRS about a similar dependent situation when both my ex and I accidentally claimed our son last year. The automated system kept disconnecting me after 2+ hours on hold. Claimyr got me connected to an actual IRS representative in about 20 minutes who explained exactly what forms we needed to correct the situation and avoid penalties.

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Klaus Schmidt

•8M

It doesn't jump you ahead in the queue. What it does is automate the calling process and wait on hold for you. The system keeps calling and navigating the IRS phone tree until it gets through the queue, then it calls you when an actual human agent is on the line ready to talk. So instead of you personally waiting on hold for hours, their system does it. The service doesn't provide any tax advice itself - it just solves the problem of not being able to reach the IRS. In my case, I needed specific guidance about Form 8332 and dependency claims that only an IRS agent could provide with authority. Getting that official answer helped prevent a potential audit situation.

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LilMama23

•8M

I need to apologize for my skeptical comment earlier and follow up. After continuing to fail getting through to the IRS on my own for DAYS, I gave Claimyr a try. I honestly expected it to be a waste of money. To my complete surprise, I got a call back about 45 minutes later with an actual IRS agent on the line! They helped me sort out a similar dependent situation with my ex where we were both trying to claim our daughter. The agent walked me through the tiebreaker rules since we have 50/50 custody and explained that since I have the higher AGI, I get to claim her unless I sign Form 8332. Saved me from a potential audit and got everything resolved in one call. I spent less time using this service than I had wasted on a single failed attempt to reach them on my own.

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Dmitri Volkov

•8M

Just wanted to add that besides the custodial parent rules, there are "tiebreaker rules" that apply when both parents could technically claim the child. The tiebreaker rules go: 1. Parent (over non-parent) 2. Custodial parent (who the child lived with longer) 3. Higher AGI parent if equal custody 4. Only one parent if other doesn't file So if you truly have a perfect 50/50 split (sounds like you're slightly over that at 57%), then the parent with the higher income would get to claim both kids unless you agree otherwise and file Form 8332.

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Dmitri Volkov

•8M

Yes, that's exactly right. Since you're the custodial parent with the 57% time, you have the right to claim both children. However, you can choose to release your claim to one child by filing Form 8332, which would allow your ex to claim that child. This arrangement is actually quite common among divorced parents and the IRS fully allows it as long as the proper documentation is filed. Just make sure you both clearly communicate which child each of you will claim to avoid any confusion. Also, be aware that certain benefits like the Earned Income Credit have different rules than the child tax credit, so you might want to look into those specifics based on your individual financial situations.

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