Denied CalFresh because of fiancé's income even though we're not married - can I still get EBT as adoptive mom?

This is definitely a complicated situation. CalFresh has specific rules about household composition that can be frustrating. Since you're in the adoption process together with your fiancé, the county is considering him part of your "CalFresh household" even though you're not married. The rule they're using is that anyone who purchases and prepares food together counts as one household, and they're assuming that's the case with your son being connected to both of you. That said, you might have options: 1. Request a detailed explanation of the denial in writing. Sometimes caseworkers misapply rules. 2. You could try applying as a separate economic unit if you truly purchase and prepare food separately from your fiancé (though this is harder to prove with a child involved). 3. If your childcare expenses are high enough, they might offset enough income to qualify. Did you make sure they counted all your childcare costs when determining eligibility?

ime the county workers just deny ppl for whatever reason they can find. you should appeal the decision!! u have 90 days to file an appeal and they have to give u a fair hearing. i got denied 3 times before i finally got approved bc some workers dont know the actual rules.

There's a critical distinction here that might help you. CalFresh and Medi-Cal use different household composition rules. Medi-Cal uses tax filing status to determine households, while CalFresh uses who purchases and prepares food together. Since your fiancé is out of town and you're maintaining separate finances, you have a strong case to be considered a separate household for CalFresh purposes. Request a formal hearing and bring: 1. Documentation showing your fiancé lives elsewhere temporarily 2. Bank statements showing separate finances 3. All childcare expenses (which are deductible from your income calculation) 4. Documentation of exactly how much your fiancé contributes to household expenses Also, your adoption status matters. If the adoption isn't finalized yet, the rules might be different than what the worker told you. Ask specifically how they're classifying your household under MPP Section 63-402 (the California regulation covering household composition).

my sister went thru something similar and she just waited until after her divorce was finalized even tho they were separated for like 2 years before that. calfresh is super strict about the household stuff its annoying

You might want to try using Claimyr to get through to an actual supervisor at CalFresh instead of just the frontline workers. I was getting the runaround for weeks with similar household composition issues until I used their service to get past the phone tree hell. You can see how it works at https://youtu.be/eZ19FHRETv8?si=_CXnXqNXbLl26WB8 - basically they wait on hold for you and call when a real person answers. I was able to speak with a supervisor who actually knew the regulations about separate economic units and households. The website is claimyr.com if you want to check it out. After I finally talked to a supervisor instead of regular staff, they correctly processed my application.

The CalFresh household rules are SO confusing. I got denied because my roommate and I sometimes share meals, and they decided we were one "household" even though we pay for everything separately! Eventually got approved after I explained we shop separately and only occasionally share a meal. Good luck!!!!

I want to clarify something important - for CalFresh purposes in 2025, a child who is being adopted is not considered the legal responsibility of the adoptive parent's partner/fiancé UNTIL the adoption is finalized or you're married. The worker may have misapplied this rule. Also, with childcare costs of $950/month, that's a significant deduction from your countable income. The 2025 income limits for a household of 2 is around $3,050 gross monthly income, and your childcare costs would be deducted before comparing to the net income limit. Definitely request a hearing and specifically ask them to explain how they're applying the household composition rules in your specific adoption situation. Bring documentation of your separate financial arrangements and your fiancé's temporary living situation.

why dont u just get married then youll have his income to help anyway lol

the system is totally broken!! i kno so many ppl who get approved even tho they shouldnt and then ppl like u who rly need it get denied. its all about which worker u get and if they feel like helping u that day!!

I had a similar issue when I was fostering my nephew before his adoption was finalized. The CalFresh office initially denied me because they counted my husband's income, even though he wasn't part of the foster/adoption arrangement. I had to specifically reference the MPP section about child pending adoption not creating a legal responsibility for non-adopting household members. Be persistent and specifically ask to speak with a worker who specializes in special household situations. Regular eligibility workers often don't understand the nuances of adoption cases. Also, make sure to mention that you're paying for food separately - that's key for CalFresh household determination.

Based on everything you've shared, I believe you have strong grounds for appeal: 1. Your income alone ($2,150/month) with a $950 childcare deduction should put you well within the eligibility range for a household of 2 2. The adoption not being finalized is critical - your fiancé does not have legal responsibility for the child yet in CalFresh terms 3. Your fiancé living separately temporarily strengthens the separate household argument When you appeal, bring 3 months of bank statements showing separate finances, proof of your fiancé's temporary residence elsewhere, documentation of exactly how much he contributes to household expenses, and all childcare receipts. Be very specific that you purchase and prepare food separately from your fiancé. Also, remember that CalFresh eligibility is determined monthly, so if your hours or income fluctuate, you might qualify in lower-income months even if you don't in higher-income months.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this bureaucratic nightmare while trying to care for your son! As someone who's navigated similar CalFresh issues, I want to add a few practical tips for your appeal: 1. Document EVERYTHING - keep a log of every phone call, who you spoke with, and what they told you. CalFresh workers often give conflicting information. 2. When you file your appeal, also request an "expedited hearing" if you can show you have less than $150 in resources or your monthly income is less than your rent/mortgage. This can speed up the process. 3. Consider reaching out to a local legal aid organization - many have CalFresh specialists who can help with appeals at no cost. They know exactly which regulations to cite. 4. If possible, try to get your fiancé to write a statement confirming he lives elsewhere temporarily and that you maintain separate food purchases. Sometimes having it in writing from the other party helps. The fact that you qualified for Medi-Cal is actually a good sign - it shows the county recognizes your financial need. Don't let them discourage you from fighting this!

I'm really sorry you're going through this - it sounds incredibly stressful trying to navigate these bureaucratic hurdles while caring for your son. From what you've described, it definitely sounds like the caseworker may have misapplied the rules, especially since your adoption isn't finalized yet and you're maintaining separate finances. One thing that might help is asking specifically about the "separate economic unit" designation. Since your fiancé is temporarily living elsewhere for work and you're purchasing/preparing food separately, you should be able to qualify as separate households for CalFresh purposes even if you're together as a family unit. Also, make sure they're properly calculating your net income after all deductions. With $950/month in childcare costs, that's a huge deduction that should significantly lower your countable income. Sometimes workers forget to apply all the deductions properly. Don't give up - you clearly need and deserve this assistance, and it sounds like you have a strong case for appeal. The system can be frustrating, but you've got this!