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Savannah Glover

Will my bedridden husband still receive his SS benefits if he moves to a nursing home?

My husband (64, turning 65 in May) is completely bedridden due to his disability. His health insurance won't cover home health aides, and we simply can't afford to hire one privately. I'm 67, still working full-time, and I'm his only caregiver which is becoming increasingly difficult both physically and emotionally. We're considering a nursing home as I'm reaching my breaking point, but I'm concerned about his finances. If he moves to a nursing facility, would he still receive his Social Security disability benefits? Would they go directly to him or the facility? I'm completely lost on how this works and what we'd need to do financially to prepare for this change. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, he will still receive his SSDI benefits if he goes into a nursing home. The benefits belong to him. However, if Medicaid ends up paying for the nursing home (which is common), they may require most of his monthly benefit to go toward the cost of care, leaving him with just a small personal needs allowance (usually around $30-60 per month depending on your state). This is something to seriously consider in your planning.

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Thank you for this information. That's not much left for him each month. Do you know if I would be able to access any of his benefits since I'm his spouse? We rely on both our incomes to cover our mortgage and bills.

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my mom went thru this with my dad. they let him keep like $50 a month and the rest went to the nursing home. but that was with medicaid. if your paying privately its different i think??

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We definitely can't afford to pay privately for a nursing home. Did your mom have access to any of your dad's benefits to help with her own expenses?

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I worked for a nursing facility for 10 years and can confirm that your husband will continue receiving his Social Security disability benefits, but there are important distinctions about where that money goes: 1. If you're paying privately (out of pocket), his SS benefits can go to whatever account you designate. 2. If Medicaid is paying for the nursing home, they'll require most of his benefits to go toward his care, typically leaving only a small personal needs allowance of $30-70 monthly (varies by state). 3. As his spouse living in the community, you may qualify for what's called the "spousal impoverishment provision" which could allow you to keep a portion of his income to maintain your household. This is VERY important for you to look into. 4. When he turns 65, his SSDI will automatically convert to retirement benefits, but the amount stays the same. I would strongly recommend consulting with an elder law attorney before making any decisions. Many offer free initial consultations and can save you thousands in the long run by properly structuring your finances.

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Thank you so much for this detailed explanation. I had no idea about the "spousal impoverishment provision" - that sounds like exactly what I need to look into! Would an elder law attorney help with setting that up as well?

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Ur husband will still get his social security but the nursing home will take most of it. They only let them keep like $40 for personal stuff. My aunt went through this last year. It's really tough.

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This is generally true for Medicaid-funded care, but the original poster should know about spousal protections as well. As the community spouse (the one not in the nursing home), she may be eligible for a Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance (MMNA) from her husband's income before it goes to the nursing home. This is specifically designed to ensure the at-home spouse doesn't become impoverished.

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I've been through this exact situation with my father last year. Your husband will 100% continue receiving his SSDI benefits, but who receives the money depends on your financial arrangement with the nursing facility. If you'll be using Medicaid (Title XIX) to cover nursing home costs, they'll do a financial assessment. In most states, they'll allow you as the community spouse to keep a significant portion of the combined income to maintain your household - called the Minimum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance (MMMNA). This amount varies by state but can be between $2,300-$3,700 per month. And very importantly - before he's admitted, you should apply to become his representative payee with Social Security if you aren't already. This lets you manage his benefits. You'll need to visit your local SSA office with both your IDs, your marriage certificate, and medical documentation showing he cannot manage his own finances. Have you been able to reach anyone at SSA to discuss your specific situation?

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I haven't talked to SSA yet. I tried calling several times but couldn't get through to anyone. It's so frustrating! I'll definitely look into becoming his representative payee though - that sounds essential. Is it difficult to get approved for that?

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I dealt with a similar situation last year trying to reach Social Security about my mom's benefits when she moved to assisted living. After 7 attempts and hours on hold, I tried Claimyr (claimyr.com) and got through to a live agent in under 5 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU For your specific situation, you really need to speak with someone at SSA about the representative payee process AND with your state's Medicaid office about spousal impoverishment protections. Getting clear answers directly from SSA made a huge difference for us in understanding exactly what portion of benefits we could keep for household expenses.

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Thank you for the recommendation! I'll check out Claimyr right away. I had no idea such a service existed, but if it helps me actually talk to someone at SSA, it would be worth it. I definitely need clarification directly from them about our situation.

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CAREFUL!!! Nursing homes will take EVERYTHING they can get!! My sister's husband went into one and they wanted ALL his social security AND half of HERS!!! They will try to FORCE you to pay for everything!!! Check with a LAWYER first!!!!

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This is incorrect and potentially alarming to the original poster. A nursing home cannot legally take half of a community spouse's own Social Security benefits. There are federal protections in place. However, I do agree that consulting with an elder law attorney is the best course of action to understand all rights and options before making any decisions.

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Does he get regular social security or SSI? Its really different rules for each one

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He receives SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance) because he worked for many years before becoming disabled. He never received SSI.

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Based on all the information shared, here's what you should do next: 1. Contact your state's Medicaid office to learn about their specific spousal impoverishment rules and how much income you'd be allowed to keep from your husband's benefits. 2. Apply to become your husband's representative payee with SSA immediately, even before the nursing home transition. 3. Consult with an elder law attorney who specializes in Medicaid planning. Many offer free initial consultations. 4. Gather documentation of all your monthly household expenses to demonstrate your financial needs when applying for the MMMNA. 5. When your husband turns 65 next May, his SSDI will automatically convert to retirement benefits, but this doesn't change the amount. With proper planning, you should be able to keep a portion of his benefits to maintain your home while ensuring he receives proper care. The system is designed with protections for community spouses in exactly your situation.

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This is incredibly helpful - thank you for laying out these steps so clearly. I'll start with becoming his representative payee and then look for an elder law attorney in our area. It's such a relief to know there are protections in place for spouses like me.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult situation. As someone who works in disability advocacy, I want to emphasize that you're making a responsible decision by exploring nursing home care when you can no longer safely provide the level of care your husband needs at home. A few additional points that might help: - Consider reaching out to your local Area Agency on Aging - they often have social workers who can walk you through the Medicaid application process and spousal protections at no cost. - Document your husband's current care needs thoroughly before the nursing home placement. This helps establish the medical necessity and can be important for Medicaid approval. - Ask potential nursing facilities about their "bed hold" policies if your husband ever needs hospitalization - you'll want to know if his spot is guaranteed upon return. - Once he's in the facility, you'll still have rights as his spouse to be involved in his care planning and to visit without restrictions. The representative payee process mentioned by others is typically straightforward for spouses, especially when there's clear medical documentation of cognitive impairment or inability to manage finances. You've got this, and there are people and systems in place to help you navigate this transition.

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I'm going through a similar situation with my elderly mother right now, and I can't imagine how exhausting this must be for you. You're being so strong taking care of your husband while working full-time - please don't feel guilty about needing help. One thing I learned that might help you is to ask the nursing homes you're considering about their specific policies for married couples. Some facilities have social workers who specialize in helping spouses navigate the Medicaid application process and understanding exactly how much of your combined income you'll be able to keep for your household expenses. Also, when you do contact SSA (definitely try that Claimyr service someone mentioned), ask them about any state-specific programs for caregiving spouses. Some states have additional support programs that can help with the transition period. You're doing everything right by researching this thoroughly before making the decision. Your husband is lucky to have someone who cares so much about getting this right for both of you.

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Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It really means a lot to hear from someone going through something similar. I've been feeling so guilty about even considering a nursing home, but you're right - I need to accept that I can't do this alone anymore. I'll definitely ask the facilities about their social workers who can help with the Medicaid process. Having that kind of specialized support sounds invaluable. How are you managing with your mother's situation? I hope you're taking care of yourself too during this difficult time.

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I'm a social worker who has helped many families navigate this exact situation. Your husband will definitely continue receiving his SSDI benefits in a nursing home - those benefits belong to him regardless of where he lives. However, the key issue is how Medicaid handles those benefits if they're paying for his care. As others have mentioned, you'll likely qualify for the Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance (MMNA) which can range from about $2,300-$3,700 depending on your state. This allows you to keep a portion of his income to maintain your household expenses before the rest goes to the nursing home. One important thing I haven't seen mentioned yet - you should also look into whether your state has a "spousal resource allowance" that protects some of your combined assets (like savings, retirement accounts) from being spent down for Medicaid eligibility. This is separate from the income protections. I'd strongly recommend contacting your state's SHIP (State Health Insurance Assistance Program) - they provide free Medicare and Medicaid counseling and can walk you through the specific rules in your state. You can find your local SHIP at shiphelp.org. You're being incredibly responsible by planning ahead rather than rushing into this decision. Many families don't realize these protections exist until it's too late to properly plan.

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Thank you so much for this comprehensive information! I had no idea about the spousal resource allowance - that could be really important for protecting our retirement savings. I'll definitely look into SHIP at shiphelp.org. It's such a relief to know there are free resources available to help navigate this. As someone new to understanding these programs, would you recommend contacting SHIP before or after I become his representative payee? I want to make sure I approach this in the right order.

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I'd recommend contacting SHIP first, actually. They can help you understand the full picture of what protections you're entitled to and guide you through the entire process in the right sequence. They'll also help you gather all the documentation you'll need for both the representative payee application and the Medicaid application. SHIP counselors are trained to look at your specific situation holistically and can often identify protections or programs you might not know about. Once you have that roadmap from SHIP, you'll be better prepared when you apply to be his representative payee and will know exactly what questions to ask SSA. Plus, if you run into any issues with the representative payee process, SHIP can often help advocate for you or connect you with additional resources. The order really does matter for maximizing your protections, so getting that expert guidance upfront is invaluable.

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I'm so sorry you're facing this incredibly difficult situation. As someone who recently went through a similar experience with my father-in-law, I want to share a few practical things that helped us navigate this transition. First, definitely pursue becoming his representative payee as others have mentioned - it's usually straightforward for spouses and gives you the legal authority to manage his benefits during this process. Second, when you're touring nursing homes, ask specifically about their Medicaid application assistance. Many facilities have staff dedicated to helping families through the paperwork and can give you realistic timelines for approval in your area. One thing I wish we had known earlier - some states have "look-back" periods for asset transfers, so if you have any joint accounts or assets you're concerned about, discuss those with an elder law attorney sooner rather than later. The spousal protections others mentioned are real and significant, but proper documentation is key. Also consider reaching out to your husband's current doctors for letters documenting his care needs. These can be crucial for both nursing home admission and Medicaid approval. You're doing the right thing by planning ahead and seeking help. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of him - you can't pour from an empty cup.

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Thank you for mentioning the "look-back" period - I hadn't heard of that before and it sounds like something I definitely need to understand. We do have some joint savings and I want to make sure I don't accidentally do something that could hurt our Medicaid eligibility later. Getting those medical letters from his doctors is a great tip too. I'm starting to realize there are so many moving pieces to coordinate, but having a clear list like this helps me feel less overwhelmed about where to start. I really appreciate you taking the time to share what you learned from your experience.

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I'm a newcomer here but wanted to reach out because your situation really resonates with me. My grandmother went through a similar transition last year, and I remember how overwhelming all the information felt at first. From reading through all these helpful responses, it sounds like you have a solid roadmap now - contacting SHIP first, then becoming his representative payee, and consulting with an elder law attorney. The spousal protections people mentioned are real and designed exactly for situations like yours. One small thing that helped our family was creating a simple checklist with all the steps and phone numbers in one place. It made the whole process feel more manageable when we could check things off as we went. You're clearly a devoted spouse who's been carrying an enormous load. Please remember that choosing professional care when you can no longer safely provide it at home isn't giving up - it's making sure he gets the best possible care while protecting your own wellbeing too. You both deserve support during this difficult time. Wishing you strength as you navigate this process. This community seems to have a wealth of knowledge and experience to help guide you through it.

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Thank you so much, Sarah! Your suggestion about creating a checklist is brilliant - I'm definitely going to do that. With everything I've learned from everyone here today, having it all organized in one place will help me feel more in control of this process. It's also really comforting to hear that the spousal protections are designed for exactly this situation. I've been so worried about losing everything we've worked for, but now I have hope that there are real safeguards in place. Your reminder about this being proper care rather than giving up really hits home - I needed to hear that. Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your grandmother's experience. This community has been absolutely invaluable today.

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Ava Kim

I'm new to this community but wanted to share some encouragement after reading your story. What you're going through sounds incredibly challenging, and I admire your dedication to finding the best solution for both you and your husband. From all the excellent advice shared here, it's clear that there are meaningful protections in place for spouses in your situation. The fact that you're researching thoroughly before making this decision shows how much you care about getting it right. One thing I'd add is to consider documenting your current caregiving routine and expenses - not just for Medicaid applications, but also to help the nursing home staff understand his specific needs and preferences when he transitions. This can make the adjustment period smoother for him. Also, don't hesitate to ask the nursing homes about their family support resources. Many facilities offer support groups or counseling for family members dealing with the emotional aspects of this transition. You've been carrying so much responsibility alone - you deserve support too. You're making a loving, practical decision by exploring professional care options. Your husband is fortunate to have someone who cares so deeply about his wellbeing and your family's financial security. Wishing you both peace and clarity as you move forward with this process.

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Thank you so much for your thoughtful message, Ava. Your suggestion about documenting his current caregiving routine is really smart - I hadn't thought about how that information could help the nursing home staff provide better care tailored to his specific needs and preferences. That could make such a difference in his comfort during the transition. I'm also glad you mentioned family support resources at nursing facilities. I've been so focused on the financial and logistical aspects that I hadn't considered the emotional support side of this journey. As someone who's been doing this alone for so long, having access to others who understand what this feels like could be incredibly helpful. Your reminder that this is a loving decision really means a lot. Sometimes it's hard to see it that way when you feel like you're failing somehow, but you're right - this is about ensuring he gets the best possible care. Thank you for the encouragement and for taking the time to share your thoughts as a newcomer. This community has shown me so much kindness and practical wisdom today.

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I'm new to this community but wanted to reach out because your situation really touches my heart. As someone who recently helped my own family navigate nursing home placement, I can see how much love and care you're putting into this difficult decision. Reading through all the excellent advice here, it's clear you now have a solid plan: contact SHIP first, pursue representative payee status, and consult with an elder law attorney. The spousal protections everyone mentioned are very real - they exist specifically to prevent situations like yours from causing financial devastation. One practical tip I'd add: when you're ready to visit nursing facilities, bring a list of your husband's daily routines, preferences, and any comfort items that are important to him. This helps staff provide more personalized care from day one. Also, please don't underestimate the emotional toll this process takes. Many nursing homes have support groups for spouses going through this transition. You've been carrying this burden alone for so long - you deserve that kind of support too. You're not failing him by seeking professional care when his needs exceed what you can safely provide at home. You're ensuring he gets proper care while protecting both of your futures. That's exactly what a devoted spouse should do. This community clearly has incredible knowledge and compassion. Wishing you strength and peace as you move forward with these next steps.

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Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, Emily. As someone new to this community myself, I'm amazed by the depth of knowledge and compassion everyone has shared today. Your point about bringing a list of his daily routines and preferences to nursing facilities is so thoughtful - I want to make sure his transition is as comfortable as possible, and those personal details could make such a difference in his care. I'm definitely going to look into support groups for spouses too. I hadn't realized how much I need that kind of emotional support until people started mentioning it. You're absolutely right that I've been carrying this alone for too long. It's reassuring to hear from someone who has been through this process that these protections are real and that I'm making a loving decision rather than failing him. This community has given me so much hope and practical guidance today - I feel like I actually have a path forward now instead of just feeling overwhelmed and lost. Thank you for adding your voice to this incredible chorus of support.

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I'm new to this community but wanted to reach out after reading through this thread because your situation really resonates with me. My family went through something very similar with my grandfather last year, and I know how overwhelming and emotionally draining this decision can be. What strikes me most is how thoroughly you're researching this and how much you care about doing right by both your husband and your own financial security. That's exactly the kind of thoughtful planning that will serve you well through this process. From everything shared here, you now have an excellent roadmap: start with SHIP for guidance, pursue representative payee status, and connect with an elder law attorney. The spousal protection programs (MMNA and spousal resource allowance) are specifically designed for situations like yours - you're not alone in facing this challenge. One thing I'd add from our experience: don't hesitate to ask nursing facilities about their admission timeline and what documentation they need upfront. Some have waiting lists, so starting those conversations early can help you plan better. Please remember that choosing professional care when you can no longer safely provide the level of care he needs isn't giving up - it's being a responsible advocate for his wellbeing. You've already gone above and beyond as his caregiver while working full-time. You both deserve the peace of mind that comes with proper care and financial protection. This community has shown incredible wisdom and support today. Wishing you strength as you take these next important steps.

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Thank you, Carmen, for your thoughtful message and for sharing your family's experience with your grandfather. It's incredibly reassuring to hear from someone who has walked this path before. Your point about asking nursing facilities about admission timelines and documentation requirements is really practical - I hadn't thought about potential waiting lists, but that could definitely impact our planning. I'm so grateful for this reminder to start those conversations early rather than waiting until we're in crisis mode. You're absolutely right that I now have a clear roadmap thanks to everyone's input today. Starting with SHIP, then pursuing representative payee status, and consulting with an elder law attorney feels much more manageable than the overwhelming uncertainty I felt this morning. Your reminder that this is about being a responsible advocate rather than giving up really helps reframe this decision in my mind. I keep having moments of doubt, but hearing it from multiple people who've been through this helps me trust that I'm making the right choice for both of us. Thank you for the encouragement and for taking the time to share your wisdom as a newcomer to this community. The support here has been truly life-changing today.

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