Social Security spousal benefits from ex-husband - do I need to wait until FRA to avoid reduction?

Yes, you have to wait until your Full Retirement Age to receive the full 50% of your ex-husband's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA). If you claim ex-spousal benefits before your FRA, they will be permanently reduced. At 62, the reduction would be about 30%, so you'd get approximately 35% of his PIA instead of the full 50%. Important: Since 2016 (due to the Bipartisan Budget Act), you can no longer choose which benefit to take first. When you apply for either your own or ex-spousal benefits, SSA automatically gives you whichever is higher. This is called "deemed filing." You can't switch later except for COLAs and additional earnings credits.

my aunt did this last year and its a MESS! she thought same thing and took her benefits at 63 then found out she couldnt switch to her exs later, ended up with way less then expected. don't make her mistake!!

The deemed filing rules changed everything! I made this exact mistake in 2021 by claiming early at 62 thinking I could switch to my ex-husband's benefit at my FRA. The SSA rep even told me over the phone I could switch later (they were wrong). Now I'm permanently stuck with the reduced amount. Make SURE you understand all your options before filing anything.

I tried appealing but they said the law is clear and that verbal advice from a rep doesn't change what's in the regulations. I was out of luck. I even filed a formal complaint but nothing came of it except an apology letter saying reps sometimes make mistakes.

Here's what you should know: 1. If you apply now at 62, you'll receive the higher of: your own reduced retirement benefit OR the reduced ex-spousal benefit 2. The reduction is permanent - about 30% less at age 62 3. You can check both amounts by creating a my Social Security account and looking at your Statement 4. To get the FULL 50% ex-spousal benefit, you must wait until your Full Retirement Age The calculation is: if your ex's PIA (full retirement benefit) is $3,000, you could get $1,500 at your FRA. But at 62, that would be reduced to about $1,050.

The SSA WONT tell you ahead of time!!!! I went through this last year with my ex. You have to actually APPLY for the benefit before they'll tell you what you'll get. It's completely ridiculous! How are we supposed to make a decision without knowing the numbers?? The whole system is designed to confuse people so they take less than they deserve!!!

I just went through this exact situation last month. I couldn't get through to anyone at Social Security for weeks - kept getting busy signals or disconnected. I finally used Claimyr.com to get through to a live agent in under 10 minutes. They connected me directly to SSA and I got all my ex-spouse benefit questions answered in one call. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent confirmed I'd get more by waiting until my FRA to claim the ex-spousal benefit. Definitely worth making an appointment to discuss your specific situation.

dont forget hes gotta be at least 62 for you to get his benefits even if ur divorced!! my friend tried to claim on her ex who was younger and couldnt get anything til he turned 62 even tho she was 65!

One thing nobody has mentioned yet: if you're still working, be aware of the earnings test. In 2025, if you claim any Social Security before your FRA and earn more than $23,000, they'll withhold $1 in benefits for every $2 you earn above that limit. So if you're still working with substantial income, that's another reason to potentially wait until your FRA to file. This earnings limit disappears completely once you reach your Full Retirement Age.

Does anyone know if you need your ex's permission to claim on their record? My ex would HATE knowing I'm getting benefits from his record and might try to block it somehow.

After reading all the comments, here's my advice for your situation: 1. Create a my Social Security account online if you haven't already 2. Schedule an appointment with SSA to get estimates of both your retirement benefit AND your ex-spouse benefit (both at 62 and at FRA) 3. Consider your current and future income needs 4. Consider your life expectancy (longer life = advantage to waiting) 5. Consider whether you'll continue working (earnings test) Most financial experts recommend waiting until at least FRA if you can afford to, especially for women who typically live longer. The permanent reduction from filing early can really add up over a 20+ year retirement.

One more thing to consider - you mentioned your ex makes "a lot more" than you do. If his benefit is significantly higher, it might be worth waiting until your FRA even if it means 5 years of no benefits. Here's why: let's say your reduced benefit at 62 would be $1,450/month, but waiting until 67 for the full ex-spousal benefit could give you $2,000+/month. That extra $550+ per month for the rest of your life could be worth hundreds of thousands over a 20-year retirement. I'd also suggest looking into whether you qualify for any other benefits during those 5 years - like unemployment, disability, or state assistance programs - that could help bridge the gap if money is tight. The decision to wait is hard when you need income now, but the math often favors patience with Social Security.

I'm in a similar situation as a newcomer to all this Social Security stuff! Reading through everyone's experiences has been really eye-opening. I'm 59 and divorced after 15 years of marriage, so I'm starting to think about this too. One thing I'm wondering about that I haven't seen mentioned - what happens if your ex-husband dies before you claim benefits? Does that change anything about the spousal benefits calculation or timing? I know there are survivor benefits, but I'm not sure how that works with the divorced spouse situation. Also, @Madison Tipne, have you considered working with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security planning? I've heard there are some who can run scenarios to help you see the breakeven points for different claiming strategies. Given how much money is at stake over a lifetime, it might be worth the consultation fee to get personalized advice. Thanks to everyone sharing their experiences - both the good and the mistakes. It's helping those of us who are just starting to figure this out!

As someone new to this community, I want to thank everyone for sharing such detailed and helpful information! I'm 61 and will be facing this same decision next year, so reading through all these experiences has been incredibly valuable. One thing I'd like to add that might help @Madison Tipne and others - I recently attended a free Social Security workshop at my local library, and they mentioned that you can actually do a "practice run" by starting the online application process without submitting it. This lets you see what your estimated benefits would be for both your own record and your ex-spouse's record before you commit to anything. You can save the application as a draft and come back to it later. The presenter also emphasized something that several people here have mentioned - the importance of getting everything in writing from SSA. She recommended following up any phone conversations with a written request (email or letter) asking them to confirm what they told you, so you have documentation if there are any issues later. @Madison Tipne, given all the complexity everyone has shared, would you consider waiting a few more months to really research all your options? I know being 62 and wanting your benefits is tempting, but the stories from @Kyle Wallace and others about permanent reductions are pretty sobering. The peace of mind from making a fully informed decision might be worth the extra time.

Welcome to the community! As another newcomer trying to navigate this confusing system, I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences here. I'm 58 and recently divorced after 20 years, so I'll be facing similar decisions soon. Reading through all these comments has made me realize how important it is to get personalized advice rather than trying to figure this out alone. The stories about permanent reductions and mistakes are really eye-opening - it sounds like this isn't a decision you can easily undo. @Madison Tipne, one thing that stood out to me is that several people mentioned the importance of knowing your ex's actual benefit amount to make an informed decision. Have you considered reaching out to him directly? I know it might be awkward after a divorce, but if you're on decent terms, he might be willing to share his Social Security statement with you. That could give you the concrete numbers you need to run the calculations properly. Also, for anyone else reading this thread in the future - it seems like the key takeaways are: 1) You can't switch strategies after filing due to deemed filing rules, 2) Reductions for early filing are permanent, 3) Get everything in writing from SSA, and 4) Consider professional help given how much money is at stake. This thread should be required reading for anyone approaching this decision!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to say thank you to everyone for sharing such detailed and honest experiences! I'm 60 and will likely be facing similar decisions in a couple of years, so this thread has been incredibly educational. What strikes me most is how many people mentioned getting incorrect information from SSA representatives, which is honestly terrifying when you're making such a consequential decision. @Kyle Wallace's story about being told he could switch later is particularly concerning - it really highlights why getting everything documented in writing is so crucial. For those considering this decision, it seems like the consensus is clear: take your time, get professional help if needed, and don't rely solely on phone conversations with SSA. The "deemed filing" rules have really changed the game since 2016, and many people (including some SSA reps apparently) still don't fully understand the implications. @Madison Tipne, given all the complexity that's been shared here, I'd strongly encourage you to schedule that SSA appointment to get your specific numbers, and maybe also look into one of those Social Security claiming strategists that others mentioned. The peace of mind of knowing you made the optimal decision seems worth the extra time and potentially some consultation fees. This is exactly the kind of real-world advice that makes online communities so valuable. Thank you all for being so generous with your experiences, even the difficult ones!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to echo what others have said about how incredibly valuable this discussion has been! I'm 63 and currently navigating my own Social Security decisions, so reading everyone's real-world experiences has been both enlightening and sobering. What really stands out to me is the recurring theme about the permanence of these decisions since the 2016 rule changes. The stories from @Kyle Wallace and others about getting stuck with reduced benefits really drive home how critical it is to get this right the first time. It's honestly shocking that SSA representatives can give incorrect advice with such serious financial consequences. @Madison Tipne, after reading through all these experiences, I'd suggest creating a checklist before making your final decision: 1) Get your benefit estimates in writing from SSA (both scenarios), 2) Consider consulting with a Social Security specialist, 3) Factor in your health/longevity expectations, 4) Account for any continued earnings and the earnings test, and 5) Document everything throughout the process. The suggestion about doing a "practice run" with the online application is brilliant - I had no idea that was possible! That seems like a great way to see actual numbers without committing. Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences, especially those who made mistakes. Your honesty is helping others avoid the same pitfalls. This thread should definitely be pinned as a resource for anyone facing divorced spouse benefit decisions!

As a newcomer to this community, I'm really grateful for this incredibly thorough discussion! I'm 58 and divorced after 12 years of marriage, so I'll be facing these same decisions in a few years. Reading through everyone's experiences has been both educational and honestly a bit overwhelming - I had no idea how complex these rules had become since the 2016 changes. The stories about permanent reductions and the inability to switch strategies after filing are really eye-opening. @Kyle Wallace, I'm so sorry you went through that experience with getting incorrect advice from SSA - it's terrifying that verbal misinformation can have such lasting financial consequences. Your story and others have convinced me that when my time comes, I'll definitely be getting everything in writing and probably seeking professional help. @Madison Tipne, after reading all these detailed responses, it seems like the consensus is clear: take your time, get your actual benefit estimates from SSA in writing, and consider consulting with a Social Security specialist before making this irreversible decision. The "practice run" suggestion with the online application sounds like a great way to see real numbers without committing. One question I have for the group - are there any red flags to watch out for when choosing a Social Security claiming strategist? With so much money at stake, I want to make sure I find someone reputable when my time comes. Thank you all for being so generous with sharing your knowledge and experiences!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to add my voice to thank everyone for such an incredibly detailed and helpful discussion! I'm 61 and recently divorced after 16 years of marriage, so I'll be facing this exact decision soon. What really strikes me from reading all these experiences is how the 2016 rule changes completely transformed the Social Security landscape, yet many people (including SSA reps!) still don't fully understand the implications. The stories about permanent reductions and getting stuck with suboptimal benefits are genuinely concerning. @Madison Tipne, one thing that might help is to frame this decision in terms of your break-even age. If waiting until your FRA would give you significantly more per month, you can calculate how many years it would take for the higher monthly payments to make up for the benefits you missed by waiting. For many people, especially women who tend to live longer, the math favors waiting even though it's emotionally difficult. I'd also echo what others have said about the importance of getting professional help. Given that this decision could impact hundreds of thousands of dollars over your lifetime, spending a few hundred on a qualified Social Security strategist seems like a wise investment. The peace of mind alone would be worth it! Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences, especially those who admitted mistakes. This thread should be required reading for anyone approaching these decisions!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to thank everyone for this incredibly comprehensive discussion! I'm 59 and facing a similar situation after my divorce was finalized last year (married 14 years), so this thread has been an absolute goldmine of information. What really resonates with me is the consistent message about the permanence of these decisions since the 2016 deemed filing rules took effect. The personal stories from @Kyle Wallace and others about getting incorrect advice from SSA representatives are both heartbreaking and terrifying - it's shocking that such consequential financial decisions can be derailed by misinformation from the very agency that should be the most reliable source. @Madison Tipne, after reading through all these detailed experiences and advice, I'd strongly encourage you to take the following steps before making any final decision: 1) Schedule that SSA appointment to get written benefit estimates for both scenarios, 2) Consider the break-even analysis that @Natalie Chen mentioned - calculate how long you'd need to live for waiting to pay off financially, 3) Factor in your current health and family longevity patterns, 4) Document every interaction with SSA in writing, and 5) Seriously consider consulting with a qualified Social Security claiming strategist given the hundreds of thousands of dollars potentially at stake. The "practice run" with the online application that @Giovanni Marino mentioned sounds brilliant - I had no idea that was possible! That could give you actual numbers to work with rather than estimates. Thank you to everyone who shared both their successes and mistakes. Your collective wisdom is helping so many of us navigate these complex waters!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to express my gratitude for this incredibly informative discussion! I'm 60 and recently divorced after 18 years of marriage, so I'll be facing similar decisions in the near future. Reading through everyone's experiences has been both enlightening and somewhat daunting - I had no idea how dramatically the 2016 deemed filing rule changes affected Social Security strategy options. The personal accounts from community members about permanent benefit reductions and incorrect advice from SSA representatives really highlight how critical it is to get this decision right the first time. @Madison Tipne, after absorbing all the wisdom shared here, it seems the path forward involves several key steps: getting written benefit estimates from SSA for both your own and ex-spousal benefits (at age 62 vs FRA), running break-even calculations to understand the long-term financial impact of different timing decisions, and strongly considering consultation with a qualified Social Security claiming specialist given the potentially life-changing financial implications. The suggestion about doing a "practice run" with the online application to see actual benefit amounts is particularly clever - I'll definitely keep that in mind for my own situation. What I find most valuable about this thread is how it demonstrates that these aren't just mathematical decisions, but complex choices that need to account for health, longevity expectations, current financial needs, and risk tolerance. The collective experiences shared here - both successes and cautionary tales - provide invaluable real-world guidance that you simply can't get from official publications. Thank you to everyone who took the time to share your knowledge and experiences so openly. This discussion should be essential reading for anyone approaching these important Social Security decisions!