Can multiple ex-wives collect survivor benefits from same deceased husband's Social Security record?

Yes, both you and his ex-wife could potentially collect survivor benefits from your husband's record, as long as you both qualify. The good news is that survivor benefits are NOT split or reduced because multiple people are collecting. Each eligible survivor receives their own full benefit amount based on their relationship to the deceased and other factors. As his current spouse of 31 years, you would be eligible for 100% of his benefit amount if you wait until your Full Retirement Age (FRA) to claim. His ex-wife would also be eligible for survivor benefits since they were married over 10 years, but her remarriage status matters - if she remarried before age 60, she generally can't claim survivor benefits on his record.

same thing happened with my family! my dad passed and both my mom and his ex both got benefits. they HATED each other but SSA doesnt care about that lol. neither one got less money because of the other one getting benefits too.

To answer your follow-up question - you can work while receiving survivor benefits, but there are earnings limits if you're under Full Retirement Age. For 2025, if you're under FRA for the full year, SSA will deduct $1 from benefits for every $2 you earn above $22,320. In the year you reach FRA, they deduct $1 for every $3 above $59,520 (only counting earnings before the month you reach FRA). Regarding collecting your own retirement benefits - this is where it gets strategic. You can't receive both your full retirement benefit AND full survivor benefit simultaneously. Instead, you'd receive the higher of the two amounts. However, you could claim one benefit first and switch to the other later if it would result in a higher amount.

my mom was already getting her own SS check when dad died. they switched her to survivors benefits because it was more money. the lady at social security told her she couldnt get both - just the bigger one

I went through this exact situation! Here's what I learned after my husband died: 1) His ex-wife DID get survivor benefits based on his record 2) I also got survivor benefits based on his record 3) Neither of us had our amounts reduced because of the other 4) BUT what they don't tell you is that if you're under FRA and still working, they'll reduce your benefit temporarily 5) Also, don't forget about the one-time death benefit of $255 (it's not much, but every bit helps) Don't worry - his ex getting benefits won't affect what you're entitled to!

Actually, your strategy for claiming depends on your specific situation. Generally: If your own benefit will eventually be higher than your survivor benefit: Consider taking the survivor benefit at age 60 (or 50 if disabled) and then switching to your own at age 70 when it's maximized with delayed retirement credits. If your survivor benefit will always be higher than your own: Consider taking your own reduced retirement benefit as early as 62, then switching to the full survivor benefit at your FRA. The best strategy depends on benefit amounts, your health, and financial needs. This is definitely worth consulting with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security strategies.

When my father-in-law passed away last year, my mother-in-law tried for WEEKS to get through to Social Security to file for survivor benefits. Kept getting disconnected or waiting on hold for hours. She finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got her connected to a real person at SSA in under 20 minutes. Saved her so much stress during an already difficult time. They have a video showing how it works here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Don't wait until after a death occurs to understand the process - SSA's phone lines are overwhelmed and getting through is a nightmare.

the law is COMPLETELY unfair!!!! why should his ex-wife get ANYTHING?? she hasn't been with him for 30+ years but can still collect his hard earned money?? meanwhile some of us who actually stayed married our whole lives get the same amount as someone who was only married 10 years?? the system is RIGGED against loyal spouses!!!

One important detail for you to know: When your husband passes away (which hopefully won't be for many years), you need to report his death to Social Security ASAP. Survivor benefits are not automatic - you must apply for them. Bring your marriage certificate, his death certificate, both your Social Security numbers, and your birth certificate when you apply. You generally cannot apply online for survivor benefits - you'll need to either call SSA at 1-800-772-1213 or make an appointment at your local office. Also be aware there's a time limit - you can only receive up to 6 months of retroactive benefits, so don't delay applying.

To answer your question about applying in person vs. by phone - there are pros and cons to each: Phone: More convenient, no travel, but often long wait times, possible disconnections, and you'll still need to mail or fax documents. In-person: Face-to-face assistance, immediate document verification, potential for more thorough help with complex situations, but requires appointment scheduling (often weeks out) and travel to the office. I generally recommend trying phone first, and if your case seems complicated, then schedule an in-person appointment. Either way, have all your documents organized beforehand.