Can I choose between ex-spouse or current spouse Social Security survivor benefits if widowed?
I'm trying to understand Social Security survivor benefits for my somewhat unusual situation. I was married to my first husband for almost 12 years before divorcing. Now I'm 57 and remarried for the past 4 years to my current husband. My question is: If my current husband passes away while we're still married, would I have the option to choose which survivor benefit to take - either based on my ex-husband's record (when eligible) or my current husband's record? Or am I automatically limited to just my current husband's record because that's the marriage in effect at time of death? My earnings history is significantly lower than both husbands since I've been self-employed most of my life while helping support various family members. The difference in potential benefits could be substantial and I'm trying to understand my options for future planning. The SSA website doesn't seem to address this specific scenario. Thanks in advance for any insights!
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Levi Parker
You actually CAN choose in this situation! When you're eligible for survivor benefits from multiple sources (ex-spouse of 10+ years or current spouse), Social Security will pay whichever provides the HIGHER benefit. You're not locked into just the current marriage. The key requirements are: 1) You must be at least 60 (50 if disabled) to collect either survivor benefit, 2) The marriage to your ex lasted at least 10 years, and 3) You don't lose ex-spouse benefits by remarrying AFTER age 60. Keep in mind survivor benefits are 100% of what the deceased was getting (or eligible for) if you wait until your Full Retirement Age to claim them.
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Savannah Weiner
•Thank you so much for this information! That's a huge relief. So essentially, when I reach 60 (or later), if either my current husband or ex has passed away, I could apply for whichever survivor benefit is higher? Do I need to do anything special on the application to make sure SSA considers both options?
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Libby Hassan
wrong info above!!! you CAN'T collect on both at same time! my sister tried this and SSA told her she had to pick ONE. she was married 15 yrs to first husband and 20 to second who died. they made her choose the higher one only. don't get your hopes up!!
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Hunter Hampton
•The previous response didn't say you could collect both simultaneously. They said you can choose the HIGHER of the two potential survivor benefits. Your sister's experience actually confirms this - she was allowed to choose the higher one. The SSA will indeed only pay one benefit, but they allow you to take whichever gives you more money.
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Sofia Peña
I went through this exact thing 2 years ago. It works like this - when you apply for survivor benefits, SSA looks at ALL possible benefits you qualify for and pays the highest one. But definitely mention both marriages on your application so they know to check both records. In my case, my second husband's benefit was $300 more per month than my ex's would have been, so that's what I got. And yes, you have to be at least 60 (unless disabled).
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Savannah Weiner
•Thanks for sharing your experience! That's really helpful. Did you have to provide marriage certificates for both marriages when you applied? And did you apply online or in person? I'm still a few years away from 60 but want to understand the process.
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Aaron Boston
I'm going through the EXACT SAME THING right now!!! Been waiting 3 months to talk to someone at SSA about this. Keep getting busy signals or disconnected when I call. So frustrating!!! I have an appt at my local office but it's not until JULY!! Why is it so impossible to reach these people???
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Sophia Carter
•I was having the same problem until I found this service called Claimyr that got me through to an actual SSA agent in about 20 minutes. Saved me hours of frustration and redials. They have a video showing how it works at https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU - basically they hold your place in line and call you when they reach an agent. Really helped with my survivor benefits questions since the website doesn't cover complex situations well. I needed answers about my ex-spouse's record versus my deceased spouse's benefits and couldn't wait months for an appointment.
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Chloe Zhang
The previous responses are mostly correct, but there's one important detail missing. When you reach age 60, you'll be eligible for reduced survivor benefits from either your current husband or ex-husband (if either has passed away). You'll get the higher of the two. HOWEVER - if your current husband is still alive when you reach age 62, you'll also have the option to claim a spousal benefit based on his record (50% of his FRA benefit) OR your own retirement benefit. If your ex-husband is alive, you could also claim a divorced spouse benefit based on his record. This creates several possible scenarios depending on who is living/deceased when you reach claiming age. The key is that the SSA will pay you the highest benefit you're eligible for at that time. If circumstances change (like if your current husband passes away later), you can switch to a higher benefit if one becomes available.
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Savannah Weiner
•Thanks for this detailed explanation! So if I understand correctly, at 62 I could have multiple potential benefits to consider - my own retirement, spousal from current husband if living, divorced spouse from ex if living, survivor from either if deceased... and I'd get whichever is highest. And I can switch later if circumstances change. That's more options than I realized! Glad I asked here.
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Hunter Hampton
One thing nobody mentioned is that taking ANY Social Security benefit before your Full Retirement Age (FRA) reduces the amount permanently. Survivor benefits are reduced if claimed between 60-FRA. So while you CAN take the higher of the two survivor benefits, waiting until your FRA (probably 67 in your case) means getting 100% of the deceased's benefit instead of a reduced percentage. Unless you absolutely need the money at 60, consider waiting if you can.
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Sofia Peña
•This is such important advice! I took my survivor benefit at 60 because I needed it, but the reduction was about 28%. If I'd waited until my FRA (66+2mo for me), I would've gotten $640 more per month FOR LIFE. Really wish I could've held out longer.
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Sophia Carter
I just want to add that your self-employment income DOES count toward your own benefit, as long as you paid self-employment taxes. My mom was self-employed for years and was surprised that her benefit was higher than expected because they counted all those years. So don't assume your benefit will necessarily be tiny compared to your husbands'. Check your earnings record on my Social Security account to see what you've accumulated.
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Savannah Weiner
•That's good to know! I've been paying self-employment taxes, but some years were pretty low income. I'll check my SSA account to see what my projected benefit is. Maybe it'll be better than I thought.
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Libby Hassan
my neighbor got widow benefits from her first husband even tho she was married to second husband when she applied!!! BUT!!!! she had to wait until she was 60 and the first husband had higher earnings. so YES you can pick but only if ur 60+ and you get the higher one only!!
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Levi Parker
To answer your follow-up question about the application process - yes, you should bring marriage certificates for both marriages, as well as your divorce decree from the first marriage. Death certificate(s) for any deceased spouse will also be needed. While you can start the survivor application online, complex situations like yours usually require finishing the process with a phone or in-person interview. Make sure to explicitly mention both marriages during your application so they check both records. And as others have mentioned, think carefully about WHEN you claim - the difference between claiming at 60 versus your Full Retirement Age can be substantial.
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