Can I collect Social Security from my ex-spouse if I remarry? Confused about remarriage rules

Thank you so much for explaining! So if I understand correctly, if I wait just 2 more years until I'm 60, then get married, I could still choose between claiming on my own record or my ex's record (whichever is higher)? Would the benefit amount be the same as if I never remarried?

I understand your frustration, but there hasn't actually been a change to the remarriage rules for divorced spouse benefits - they've been consistent for many years. Perhaps your sister-in-law's situation involved other factors? There are different rules for survivor benefits vs. divorced spouse benefits, and sometimes people confuse them.

That's actually not a bad idea! I might consider doing something similar. Did your mom have any issues with Social Security after she remarried? Did she have to do any special paperwork?

This is really helpful information! I didn't realize I'd still have to wait until 62 to collect anything anyway. My full retirement age is indeed 67. I think I need to find out exactly what my ex's benefit would be compared to my potential new husband's benefit to make the best decision about timing.

That's a good point! I should probably have a conversation with my boyfriend about what his benefit might be. He's worked pretty consistently his whole life but didn't have as high of an income as my ex-husband.

Thank you for the suggestion! I've been so frustrated trying to get through on the phone. I'll check out that service - I really need to talk to someone official at SSA to understand my specific situation and get actual benefit amounts.

@Giovanni Rossi What if you remarry before 60, and your spouse passes away and now you are over 67, can you still collect from your ex?

I helped my mother through this process. She remarried at 62 and applied for benefits on her ex-husband's record (they were married 22 years). The process wasn't particularly complicated, but she did need to provide her marriage certificate from the first marriage, divorce decree, and new marriage certificate. SSA processed everything correctly, but it took about 3 months from application to first payment. No unusual troubles beyond the normal SSA processing times.

That's correct! The rules are similar but slightly different: - Divorced spouse benefits: Can claim if you remarry at 60+ - Surviving divorced spouse benefits (if ex is deceased): Can claim if you remarry at 60+ - Disabled surviving divorced spouse: Can claim if you remarry at 50+ It's important to distinguish between these different benefits because the amounts and requirements vary.

That sounds like a very sensible approach. One more thing to consider: even if you wait until after 60 to remarry, when you actually apply for benefits (at 62+), they'll look at all possible benefit sources - your own record, your ex-spouse's record, and your new spouse's record - and give you the highest one you're eligible for. So sometimes the remarriage timing doesn't end up mattering if one of the other benefit sources is higher anyway.

Great question about your ex-spouse's timing! The good news is that when your ex starts collecting doesn't affect your ability to claim on their record at all. You can claim divorced spouse benefits as long as your ex is eligible for benefits (even if they haven't started collecting yet) and you meet the other requirements (married 10+ years, unmarried or remarried after 60, etc.). For benefit estimates, I'd definitely recommend trying that Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier - it sounds like a game-changer for actually getting through to SSA. You can also create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your own benefit estimates, though it won't show you what your ex-spouse's benefit would be. Since you're 56 and considering remarriage, you're in a similar boat to @Zoe Kyriakidou - waiting until after 60 to marry would preserve your options, but you'll want to compare all the potential benefit amounts to see if it's worth the wait financially.

I'm so sorry for your loss, @Ali Anderson. You're absolutely right that the remarriage rules are the same for surviving divorced spouse benefits - remarrying at 60 or later preserves your eligibility. I'm not an expert, but from what I understand, surviving divorced spouse benefits are often more generous than regular divorced spouse benefits. While divorced spouse benefits max out at 50% of your ex's full retirement benefit, surviving divorced spouse benefits can be up to 100% of what your ex was receiving (or entitled to receive). Given that your ex had much higher earnings, this could indeed make a huge financial difference. I'd strongly recommend getting official guidance from SSA before your wedding to understand exactly what you'd be eligible for and when you could start collecting. The timing might be even more important in your situation since survivor benefits can potentially start as early as age 60 (though they'd be reduced if taken before your full retirement age). Best of luck with both your upcoming wedding and navigating these benefits!

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. She was able to collect 100% of her deceased ex-husband's benefit amount after remarrying at 61. One important thing to note is that with survivor benefits, you can actually start collecting as early as age 60 (unlike regular divorced spouse benefits which start at 62). However, if you take them before your full retirement age, they will be permanently reduced - I think it's about 28.5% reduction if you start right at 60. @Ali Anderson, since you're planning to marry right at 60, you might want to consider whether starting survivor benefits immediately at 60 would be worthwhile even with the reduction, or if waiting until your full retirement age makes more sense financially. An SSA representative should be able to run those numbers for you to help with your decision. Also, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It sounds like you've planned the timing very thoughtfully.

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. She was widowed from her ex-husband (they'd been divorced for 8 years) and remarried at 61. The key differences with survivor benefits are: - You can potentially get 100% of what your ex was receiving (or entitled to receive) - You can start collecting as early as age 60 (though reduced) - At your full retirement age, you get the full survivor benefit amount Since you're planning to marry right at 60, you'll preserve your eligibility perfectly. One important note: if you apply for survivor benefits before your full retirement age, they'll be permanently reduced, but you might still be better off taking them early depending on your financial situation. Also, @Ali Anderson, make sure to gather all the necessary documents now - your marriage certificate to your ex, the divorce decree, his death certificate, etc. Having everything ready will make the application process much smoother when the time comes. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely right about survivor benefits being more generous - that's a really important distinction! @Ali Anderson, since you're dealing with survivor benefits rather than just divorced spouse benefits, you may actually be eligible for up to 100% of your ex-husband's benefit amount, which could be substantially more than the 50% cap on regular divorced spouse benefits. One thing to keep in mind is that if you're eligible for survivor benefits, you might be able to start collecting them as early as age 60 (though at a reduced amount), whereas regular divorced spouse benefits don't start until 62. Since you'll be 60 when you remarry, you might want to explore whether you could start collecting survivor benefits right around that time, even before you would be eligible for benefits based on your own record or a new spouse's record. Definitely get the specifics from SSA, but it sounds like your situation might actually work out quite well financially with the timing of your remarriage at 60. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. She was widowed from her ex-husband and the surviving divorced spouse benefit was indeed 100% of his benefit amount, not just 50% like regular divorced spouse benefits. One important thing to note for @Ali Anderson - you can actually start collecting surviving divorced spouse benefits as early as age 60 (unlike regular divorced spouse benefits which start at 62). However, if you collect before your full retirement age, the benefit will be reduced. At age 60, you'd get about 71.5% of the full survivor benefit amount. Since you're planning to marry right at age 60, you might want to consider the timing carefully. You could potentially start collecting the survivor benefits right at 60, then get married. Just make sure to confirm with SSA that there won't be any processing delays that could complicate things. The financial impact could be substantial given your ex's higher earnings, so definitely get those official benefit estimates before making final plans!

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. One important detail to add: with surviving divorced spouse benefits, you can actually start collecting as early as age 60 (reduced) or wait until your full retirement age to get 100% of what your ex was entitled to. This is different from regular divorced spouse benefits where you have to wait until 62 to start collecting. Since you're planning to marry right at age 60, you might want to consider the timing carefully. If you marry before your 60th birthday, you'd lose eligibility for the survivor benefits. But marrying on or after your 60th birthday preserves them. @Ali Anderson, I'd definitely recommend calling SSA (or using that Claimyr service) to get specific numbers for your situation before making final wedding plans. The difference between survivor benefits and what you might get based on your own record or your new spouse's record could be substantial enough to influence your wedding timing by even a few weeks or months. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and I hope you can get this sorted out smoothly!

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. She was able to collect 100% of her deceased ex-husband's benefit amount after remarrying at 61. One important thing to note - you can actually start collecting surviving divorced spouse benefits as early as age 60 (unlike regular divorced spouse benefits which start at 62). Since you're already 59, you might be eligible to start collecting these benefits even before you remarry, then continue receiving them after your marriage. However, if you collect before your full retirement age, the benefits will be permanently reduced. At age 60, you'd get about 71.5% of the full survivor benefit amount. You'd need to weigh whether it's better to start collecting the reduced amount now or wait until later for the full amount. Definitely get specific numbers from SSA before making any decisions. And congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It must be a relief to know that remarrying won't affect your eligibility.

@Omar Fawaz is absolutely correct about survivor benefits being more generous! I went through this exact situation with my aunt a few years ago. She was widowed from her ex-husband and remarried at 61. One important detail to add: with surviving divorced spouse benefits, you can actually start collecting as early as age 60 (unlike regular divorced spouse benefits which start at 62), though as Omar mentioned, they'll be reduced if you take them before your full retirement age. Since you'll be 60 when you marry, you could potentially start collecting immediately after your wedding if needed. The application process was straightforward for my aunt - she needed the divorce decree, her ex's death certificate, and proof of their 10+ year marriage. SSA processed everything within about 2-3 months. Definitely get those benefit estimates before your wedding so you can plan accordingly. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

This is such valuable information about survivor benefits! I had no idea that surviving divorced spouse benefits could potentially be up to 100% rather than just 50%. That's a huge difference, especially for someone like @Ali Anderson whose ex-husband had much higher earnings. I'm curious - for those of us in similar situations, is there a way to get estimates of what these different benefit types would be without having to wait on hold with SSA for hours? I've been putting off trying to call them because I know it's such a hassle, but reading all these responses makes me realize I really need to understand my options better before making any major decisions about remarriage timing. @Ali Anderson, it sounds like your timing worked out really well - being able to remarry exactly when you turn 60 gives you the best of both worlds!

@Kristian Bishop, regarding getting estimates without the long SSA phone waits - a few options that might help: 1. The Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier seems to be a game-changer for actually getting through to SSA agents quickly 2. You can create a "my Social Security" account at ssa.gov to see your own benefit estimates, though it won't show ex-spouse benefit amounts 3. Some people have had luck visiting their local SSA office in person, though availability varies by location 4. There are also some online calculators that can give rough estimates if you know your ex's earnings history, but nothing beats getting official numbers from SSA The key thing is getting those actual benefit amounts before making any decisions about remarriage timing. The difference between 50% (divorced spouse) and potentially 100% (survivor) benefits could be thousands of dollars per month, so it's definitely worth the effort to get accurate information. @Ali Anderson's situation really does seem to have worked out perfectly with the timing - remarrying right at 60 preserves all her survivor benefit options while letting her move forward with her life plans.

@Kristian Bishop, for getting benefit estimates without the SSA phone hassle, I'd definitely recommend trying that Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier - several people here seem to have had success with it for actually getting through to speak with an SSA representative quickly. You can also create a free "my Social Security" account at ssa.gov which will show you estimates for your own work record, though it won't show you what you might be eligible for based on an ex-spouse's record. For that, you really do need to speak with SSA directly. Another option some people don't know about is visiting your local SSA office in person - sometimes that can be faster than trying to get through on the phone, especially if you can go during off-peak hours like mid-morning on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Given all the complexity around divorced spouse benefits vs. survivor benefits and the remarriage timing rules, it's really worth getting official numbers rather than just guessing. The difference between 50% and 100% of a high earner's benefit could be thousands of dollars per year in retirement income!

@Kristian Bishop For getting benefit estimates without the phone hassle, I'd definitely recommend checking out that Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier - several people in this thread have had success with it for actually connecting with SSA agents quickly. You can also create a free my Social Security account at ssa.gov to see your own benefit estimates, though it won't show you what you might be eligible for based on an ex-spouse's record. Another option is to visit your local Social Security office in person if you have one nearby - sometimes that can be faster than trying to get through on the phone. They can pull up all the different benefit scenarios for your specific situation. @Ali Anderson, I agree your timing is perfect! And thank you @Zoe Kyriakidou for starting such an informative discussion - this thread has been incredibly helpful for understanding these complex remarriage rules.

@Kristian Bishop Great question about getting estimates! A few options that have been mentioned in this thread: 1. Create a "my Social Security" account at ssa.gov - this will show your own projected benefits but won't show ex-spouse benefits 2. Try that Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier - apparently it helps you get connected to SSA much faster than calling directly 3. Some people have had luck calling SSA early in the morning (like 8 AM) or late in the day to avoid peak times You could also try visiting a local SSA office in person, though they often have long waits too. But for something this important to your financial future, it's really worth the effort to get official numbers rather than just estimates or rules of thumb. @Ali Anderson, I agree your timing is perfect! And thank you @Zoe Kyriakidou for starting such a helpful discussion - I'm learning so much from everyone's experiences and questions.

@Kristian Bishop For getting estimates without the phone hassle, I'd definitely recommend trying that Claimyr service that @Giovanni Rossi mentioned earlier - several people in this thread have had success with it for getting through to SSA quickly. You can also create a "my Social Security" account at ssa.gov which will show your own projected benefits, though it won't show what you might be eligible for based on an ex-spouse's record. Another option is to visit your local SSA office in person if you have one nearby - sometimes that's faster than trying to get through on the phone, especially for complex questions about divorced spouse or survivor benefits. They can run scenarios for you and give you printouts of the different benefit amounts you might be eligible for. I agree that understanding all your options before making remarriage decisions is really important - we're talking about potentially thousands of dollars per year in retirement income, so it's worth the effort to get the official numbers!

Thanks for these practical tips, @Hazel Garcia! The 7 AM calling strategy is something I hadn't thought of - that could save so much frustration. I've been dreading trying to call SSA but knowing there's a better time to get through makes it seem more manageable. I'm definitely going to try creating that online account first to at least see my own benefit projections. Even though it won't show ex-spouse benefits, having my own numbers will be a good starting point for comparison. This whole thread has been incredibly educational. It's amazing how many nuances there are to these remarriage rules that I never would have known about otherwise. I feel much better prepared to have informed conversations about timing now!