Can I collect Social Security from my ex-spouse if I remarry? Confused about remarriage rules
I'm trying to figure out if I can still collect Social Security benefits based on my ex-husband's record if I remarry. We were married for 15 years before divorcing 4 years ago. I'm now 58 and considering getting remarried to my current boyfriend. Someone told me that if I remarry, I lose the ability to claim on my ex's record completely, but someone else said I can still get them if I wait until I'm 60? I'm so confused by these remarriage rules and can't get through to anyone at SSA. My own work record is much smaller than my ex's because I stayed home with our kids for several years. Any help understanding this would be really appreciated!
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Jamal Brown
The remarriage rule is actually pretty straightforward but often misunderstood. If you remarry BEFORE age 60, you cannot collect benefits on your ex-spouse's record while you remain married to your new spouse. If you remarry AFTER age 60, you can still collect divorced spouse benefits based on your ex's record. Since you're 58 now, if you remarry before turning 60, you'll lose eligibility to claim on your ex-husband's record. You'll only be able to claim on your new husband's record (if eligible) or your own. If this matters a lot financially, you might consider waiting until after your 60th birthday to remarry. Then you preserve your options.
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Zoe Kyriakidou
•Thank you so much for explaining! So if I understand correctly, if I wait just 2 more years until I'm 60, then get married, I could still choose between claiming on my own record or my ex's record (whichever is higher)? Would the benefit amount be the same as if I never remarried?
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Mei Zhang
Who cares about the rules, they're gonna change them again anyway before we can collect ANYTHING! My sister in law waited to remarry until 60 for EXACTLY this reason and then got a letter saying they CHANGED the rules and she was no longer eligible anyway!!! The whole system is a SCAM designed to take our money and then change the rules when it's time to pay out!!!
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Jamal Brown
•I understand your frustration, but there hasn't actually been a change to the remarriage rules for divorced spouse benefits - they've been consistent for many years. Perhaps your sister-in-law's situation involved other factors? There are different rules for survivor benefits vs. divorced spouse benefits, and sometimes people confuse them.
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Liam McConnell
my mom had this same question last year lol. she waited til 60 to marry her bf of 12 years just to keep her ex's benefits. they had a big party for both the wedding and her 60th bday on the same weekend it was fun
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Zoe Kyriakidou
•That's actually not a bad idea! I might consider doing something similar. Did your mom have any issues with Social Security after she remarried? Did she have to do any special paperwork?
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Amara Oluwaseyi
The previous advice is correct, but let me add some important details: 1) To claim on an ex-spouse's record, your marriage must have lasted at least 10 years (yours was 15, so you qualify) 2) You must be unmarried OR remarried after age 60 3) You must be at least 62 to collect divorced spouse benefits 4) Your ex doesn't need to be collecting yet, but must be eligible for benefits 5) The maximum you can receive as a divorced spouse is 50% of your ex's full retirement age benefit So even if you wait until after 60 to remarry, remember you still can't actually collect until you're 62. And if you collect before your own full retirement age (probably 67 for you), your benefit will be reduced permanently. Finally, if your new husband's benefit would be higher than your ex's, you'd get the higher amount anyway, so the remarriage rule might not matter in your case.
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Zoe Kyriakidou
•This is really helpful information! I didn't realize I'd still have to wait until 62 to collect anything anyway. My full retirement age is indeed 67. I think I need to find out exactly what my ex's benefit would be compared to my potential new husband's benefit to make the best decision about timing.
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CosmicCaptain
Everyone here is forgeting that if u remarry somebody who also gets SS benefits you might get more that way anyway so the ex spouse thing mite not even matter for you. My aunt remarried at 59 and was worried but then her new husbands benefit was way higher than her ex's so it didn't matter anyway!!
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Zoe Kyriakidou
•That's a good point! I should probably have a conversation with my boyfriend about what his benefit might be. He's worked pretty consistently his whole life but didn't have as high of an income as my ex-husband.
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Giovanni Rossi
I was in almost the exact same situation last year! I called SSA dozens of times trying to get through to ask this question and kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. I finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an SSA agent in about 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent confirmed everything people are saying here - remarriage before 60 means you lose ex-spouse benefits, after 60 you can still claim them. They also helped me calculate the different benefit amounts so I could make an informed decision. Definitely worth getting the official word from SSA on your specific situation.
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Zoe Kyriakidou
•Thank you for the suggestion! I've been so frustrated trying to get through on the phone. I'll check out that service - I really need to talk to someone official at SSA to understand my specific situation and get actual benefit amounts.
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Fatima Al-Maktoum
Just wondering - has anyone here actually gone through with collecting on their ex's record after remarrying past 60? How complicated was the process? Did SSA give you any trouble?
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Amara Oluwaseyi
•I helped my mother through this process. She remarried at 62 and applied for benefits on her ex-husband's record (they were married 22 years). The process wasn't particularly complicated, but she did need to provide her marriage certificate from the first marriage, divorce decree, and new marriage certificate. SSA processed everything correctly, but it took about 3 months from application to first payment. No unusual troubles beyond the normal SSA processing times.
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CosmicCaptain
i think u can stil collect widows benefits from a dead ex spouse even if u remarry after 60 too its not just for divorsed spouse benefits
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Jamal Brown
•That's correct! The rules are similar but slightly different: - Divorced spouse benefits: Can claim if you remarry at 60+ - Surviving divorced spouse benefits (if ex is deceased): Can claim if you remarry at 60+ - Disabled surviving divorced spouse: Can claim if you remarry at 50+ It's important to distinguish between these different benefits because the amounts and requirements vary.
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Zoe Kyriakidou
Thanks everyone for all the helpful information! I think I understand better now. My plan is to: 1. Try to contact SSA to get exact benefit estimates (using that Claimyr service someone mentioned) 2. Talk to my boyfriend about our long-term plans and his benefit status 3. Consider waiting until after my 60th birthday to get married if it makes financial sense It's frustrating that something like when I get married could have such a big impact on my financial future, but I'd rather make an informed decision than regret it later.
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Jamal Brown
•That sounds like a very sensible approach. One more thing to consider: even if you wait until after 60 to remarry, when you actually apply for benefits (at 62+), they'll look at all possible benefit sources - your own record, your ex-spouse's record, and your new spouse's record - and give you the highest one you're eligible for. So sometimes the remarriage timing doesn't end up mattering if one of the other benefit sources is higher anyway.
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