Can I claim Social Security benefits on ex-husband's disability record at 60? Child's benefits ending soon
I just discovered something that's making me sick with worry. My daughter (18) has been receiving auxiliary benefits on my ex-husband's SSDI record since he became disabled 12 years ago. Her benefits will stop when she graduates high school in May. Yesterday, my neighbor (who works as a paralegal) mentioned I should have been receiving ex-spouse benefits all this time too! When my ex first got approved for disability, I specifically asked the SSA representative if I qualified for anything, and they told me only my daughter was eligible. We were married for 17 years before divorcing, and I'm turning 60 next month. If I really was entitled to benefits all these years but never received them because of incorrect information, I'm devastated. That money would have made such a difference as a struggling single mom. Can anyone knowledgeable about divorce and disability benefits clarify if I was actually eligible? And if so, is there any way to claim those missed payments now? I'm so upset about this possibility.
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Amina Diallo
You may have gotten incorrect information, unfortunately. As an ex-spouse, you can potentially receive benefits if: 1) Your marriage lasted at least 10 years (yours was 17, so you qualify), 2) You're unmarried, and 3) You're at least 62 years old. The key here is that last point - you wouldn't have qualified 12 years ago, and you don't quite qualify yet at 60 unless you're disabled yourself. When you turn 62, you can apply for ex-spouse benefits. The good news is you'll be eligible soon!
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Paolo Conti
•Thank you for this information! I'm relieved to hear I didn't miss out on 12 years of benefits, but also disappointed I have to wait 2 more years. Do you know if I'll get the full 50% of his benefit amount when I do apply at 62? Or is there a reduction for taking it early?
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Oliver Schulz
i went thru something similar with my ex wife benefits. SSA told me wrong info twice!! they kept saying i couldn't get anything til i talked to supervisor. the rules for disability are different than retirement btw
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Paolo Conti
•That's so frustrating! Did you eventually get benefits? And what do you mean about disability rules being different? I'm worried I'm still missing something important.
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Natasha Kuznetsova
Wait I'm confused. I thought ex-spouses could get benefits at any age if they're caring for the disabled person's child under 16? That's different from the retirement rules. Did your daughter turn 16 a while back? Maybe you were eligible for some period when she was younger?
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Amina Diallo
•You're thinking of mother's/father's benefits (sometimes called child-in-care benefits). You're right that those are available to caregivers regardless of age when caring for a child under 16. However, they end when the youngest child turns 16. So if the daughter is now 18, those benefits would have ended 2 years ago anyway. The ex-spouse would now need to wait until age 62 for regular spousal benefits unless she's disabled herself.
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AstroAdventurer
Oh my gosh this system is SO complicated!!! I had almost the same situation except my ex died instead of becoming disabled. I got benefits as a widow with children but then they stopped when my youngest turned 16. Now I have to wait until 60 for widow benefits. It's all so confusing.
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Paolo Conti
•It really is overwhelming! I think I understand now that I might have been eligible for benefits when my daughter was under 16, but not afterward until I reach 62. It's frustrating that nobody explained this to me back then.
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Javier Mendoza
Based on what you've shared, here's the situation: You likely WERE eligible for mother's benefits when your daughter was under 16 if you were caring for her. These benefits don't require you to be any specific age. However, once she turned 16, those benefits would have stopped regardless. Now, you'll need to wait until 62 for regular ex-spouse benefits (assuming you remain unmarried). Regarding back payments: Unfortunately, Social Security usually limits retroactive benefits to 6 months maximum, and that's only for certain benefits. They generally won't go back 12 years, even if you received incorrect information. However, you should still discuss this with them - bring any documentation showing you inquired about benefits previously if you have it.
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Paolo Conti
•Thank you for this detailed explanation. I had no idea about the mother's benefits when she was younger. No one at SSA mentioned that option when I asked years ago. This is all so frustrating and disappointing to learn now. I'll definitely ask about this when I go in, but I'm not holding my breath for any back payments after so much time has passed.
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Emma Wilson
I've been trying to reach someone at SSA for THREE WEEKS about my own disability application and can't get through!! Just busy signals and disconnections. How does ANYONE get actual help from them?!?! The offices here are appointment only with month-long waits. This system is BROKEN!!!
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Malik Davis
•I had the same problem until I found this service called Claimyr. They get you connected to an actual SSA agent without waiting on hold for hours. Completely changed my experience - I got through in under 20 minutes when I'd been trying unsuccessfully for days. Their website is claimyr.com and they have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Worth checking out if you're frustrated with trying to reach someone. I was able to get my benefits question answered right away instead of waiting for an in-person appointment.
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Oliver Schulz
one more thing - when u do turn 62 make sure u check if its better to take ur own SS or the ex-spouse benefit. depends on ur work history. if u take it at 62 its reduced no matter what
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Javier Mendoza
•This is excellent advice. At 62, both your own retirement benefit and any ex-spouse benefit would be reduced by about 30% compared to waiting until your Full Retirement Age (FRA). You'll get whichever is higher - your own benefit or the ex-spouse benefit - not both. If your own work record would give you a higher benefit, you might not need the ex-spouse benefit at all. The SSA should be able to tell you the projected amounts for both options.
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Paolo Conti
Thank you all for this valuable information! I'm disappointed I might have missed out on some benefits when my daughter was younger, but at least I understand the rules better now. I'll definitely check on both my own retirement benefit and the ex-spouse benefit when I turn 62 to see which is better. I'm going to try to schedule an appointment with SSA to discuss everything properly. I feel less anxious now that I have more knowledge about how this all works.
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Amina Diallo
•Good plan to meet with SSA. One last tip: bring your marriage certificate, divorce decree, and ex's Social Security number if you have it. This will help them look up your specific situation more efficiently. And definitely mention that you were never informed about potential mother's benefits when your daughter was younger - it probably won't result in back payments, but it might help them improve their training for representatives.
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