Who should claim our newborn on taxes - me (W-2) or partner (1099)?
My boyfriend and I aren't married yet, but we had our first baby in April 2023. We're trying to figure out the smartest way to handle our taxes now that we have a dependent. I work full-time with a regular salary job where taxes are taken out of each paycheck. Typically I end up owing around $350 when I file my taxes. I didn't adjust my withholding after having the baby. My boyfriend mostly does contract work (all 1099) and made about $68,000 last year. He's been setting aside half of each payment for taxes since he doesn't have any withholding. He'll probably have business expenses of around $5,800 that he can deduct. We're trying to decide which one of us should claim our daughter as a dependent on our taxes. Who would get the bigger benefit? Also, someone told me I could deduct all the baby items I purchased in 2023 since that's her birth year (crib, stroller, car seat, etc.). That sounds too good to be true - is there any tax break for those kinds of expenses?
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Mason Stone
You'll want to run the numbers both ways to see who benefits most, but generally the higher earner gets more benefit from claiming the child tax credit and dependent deduction. Since your boyfriend is self-employed with 1099 income, he might benefit more for several reasons: First, having a dependent could potentially reduce his self-employment taxes. Plus, the child tax credit is worth up to $2,000 per qualifying child, and this credit can reduce taxes dollar-for-dollar. If your boyfriend's income is higher (which sounds likely), he'd probably save more by claiming your daughter. As for deducting baby supplies - unfortunately that's not a thing. Regular baby items like cribs, strollers, and clothing aren't tax-deductible. Your friend might have been confusing this with the child and dependent care credit, which helps with daycare costs if you're both working, not actual baby supplies. The best approach is to calculate your taxes both ways and see which scenario saves more money overall for your household. You might also look into filing as Head of Household if you qualify, as this gives better tax rates than filing single.
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Makayla Shoemaker
•If they're not married, wouldn't it make more sense for the lower earner to claim the child? I thought the child tax credit phases out at higher incomes, and the 1099 person might be over that threshold? Also, does living arrangement matter? Like does the person claiming the child need to be the one providing most of the housing costs?
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Mason Stone
•You raise a good point about income thresholds. The Child Tax Credit begins phasing out at $200,000 for single filers, so unless the boyfriend's income approaches that level, it shouldn't be reduced. Living arrangements definitely matter. The IRS has tests for claiming a dependent, including the residency test. The child must live with the parent claiming them for more than half the year. Additionally, if both unmarried parents could claim the child but only one does, the IRS typically gives preference to the parent with the higher adjusted gross income when there's a dispute.
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Christian Bierman
After struggling with a similar situation last year, I found this amazing tool at https://taxr.ai that helped figure out the optimal way to handle our dependents. My partner and I weren't married yet with our first baby, and we were totally lost on who should claim him. The tool analyzed both our tax situations (I'm W-2, he's mostly 1099) and showed us that in our case, having him claim our son saved us over $1,800 compared to me claiming him! The system looks at all the related credits and deductions together - child tax credit, earned income credit, head of household status, etc. You upload your documents and get a clear comparison showing how different choices affect your bottom line. Super helpful for situations exactly like yours where you're trying to maximize your family's total refund.
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Emma Olsen
•Does it work for more complicated situations? I have a stepchild who lives with us part-time and I'm never sure if I can claim them or not. Would this help figure that out too?
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Lucas Lindsey
•Sounds interesting but how does it actually work? Like do you have to give all your financial info to some random website? Is it secure? $1800 savings sounds almost too good to be true...
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Christian Bierman
•Yes, it absolutely works for more complicated situations including blended families. You can input custody arrangements and living situations, and it helps determine if you meet the IRS tests for claiming a dependent. It's particularly helpful for stepchild situations where there might be confusion. The system is completely secure with bank-level encryption. You do need to provide financial information for an accurate analysis, but they use the same security standards as tax filing platforms. The $1,800 savings was specific to our situation - we would have missed out on some credits if we'd chosen incorrectly. The biggest value is seeing all possible scenarios side by side so you can make an informed choice rather than guessing.
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Lucas Lindsey
I tried taxr.ai after seeing it mentioned here and it was seriously eye-opening! My situation is basically identical - unmarried with my partner, new baby, and trying to figure out our taxes. I was absolutely convinced I should claim our daughter since I make less money and thought I'd get more benefits. The analysis showed we'd actually save over $2,300 by having my higher-earning partner claim her because of how the self-employment tax interacts with the other credits. The comparison feature is what really helped - it showed exactly why this worked better in our specific situation. It also flagged that I could still file as Head of Household even without claiming the baby, which I had no idea was possible. Definitely worth checking out if you're unsure what to do!
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Sophie Duck
For anyone struggling to get answers from the IRS about dependent claims, I highly recommend https://claimyr.com - it saved me HOURS of frustration. After three failed attempts trying to call the IRS directly about a complicated dependent situation (kept getting disconnected after 45+ minute holds), I was ready to just guess and risk an audit. With Claimyr, I got connected to an actual IRS agent in under 15 minutes who walked me through exactly who could claim our child in our unmarried situation. They have this priority line service that somehow bypasses the normal hold times. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c Best part was getting documentation of the conversation so if there was ever a question later, I had proof I followed IRS guidance. Seriously worth it during tax season when wait times are ridiculous.
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Austin Leonard
•How does this actually work? The IRS phone lines are always jammed, so how can some service magically get you through faster? Sounds sketchy to me.
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Anita George
•I'm super skeptical. The IRS doesn't have "priority lines" for regular people. This sounds like a scam where they just keep you on hold themselves and pretend they're working magic. Has anyone else actually verified this works?
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Sophie Duck
•It works through their phone system that continuously redials and navigates the IRS phone tree until it gets through, then immediately connects you when it reaches a human. You're not paying for priority access from the IRS - you're paying for technology that handles the frustrating part of getting through. I was skeptical too, but it absolutely works. I'm not affiliated with them - just a regular parent who was desperate after wasting hours on hold. They don't keep you on hold themselves - you get an alert when they've reached an agent and then you're connected directly to the actual IRS. Many tax professionals use similar services because time is money and waiting for hours on IRS hold isn't feasible during tax season.
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Anita George
Ok I need to apologize because I was COMPLETELY wrong about Claimyr. After posting that skeptical comment, I decided to try it myself since I've been trying to reach the IRS for 3 weeks about my dependent situation. I assumed it would be a waste of money, but I got connected to an actual IRS representative in 11 minutes after trying unsuccessfully for literally hours on multiple days. The agent confirmed that in my situation (unmarried parents, shared custody), we needed to follow specific tiebreaker rules based on where our daughter stayed more nights during the year. The documentation feature was clutch too - I got an email summary of exactly what the agent told me about claiming my daughter, which gives me peace of mind against any future audit. Honestly shocked this service exists and actually works.
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Abigail Spencer
Don't forget about the Earned Income Tax Credit! If your income is on the lower side, this credit can be worth thousands and is refundable (meaning you can get it even if you don't owe any tax). Having a qualifying child increases the amount substantially. For 2023, you can earn up to about $43,000 (single with one child) and still get some EITC benefit. If your income is much lower than your partner's, you might benefit more by claiming the child even if he gets more from the Child Tax Credit. Really comes down to running the numbers both ways and seeing which arrangement gives your household the biggest combined refund/smallest combined tax bill.
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Logan Chiang
•Can both unmarried parents claim EITC for the same child? Or does only one get to claim it? My ex and I share custody 50/50 and we're confused about how to handle this.
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Abigail Spencer
•Only one parent can claim a child for EITC purposes. The same child cannot be claimed by multiple taxpayers for this credit in the same year. For 50/50 custody situations, you'll need to decide which parent claims the child. If you can't agree, the IRS tiebreaker rules apply, which typically award the claim to the parent with the higher adjusted gross income. Some parents alternate years. Just make sure you don't both try to claim the same child - that will trigger IRS notices for both of you.
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Isla Fischer
One thing nobody mentioned is that if you claim your baby, you might qualify for Head of Household filing status which has better tax rates than filing Single. You need to provide more than half the cost of keeping up the home where your child lives. In my situation, I was the lower earner but by claiming our baby and filing HOH, I saved way more than my higher-earning partner would have saved by claiming her. Just another factor to consider when you're figuring this out - don't just look at the child tax credit alone!
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Savannah Vin
•Does Head of Household make that big of a difference? I've been providing most of the housing costs since my boyfriend's been saving for taxes. Would I qualify for this even if I don't claim our daughter?
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Isla Fischer
•Head of Household can make a huge difference - the tax brackets are more favorable than Single filing status and the standard deduction is larger too. For 2023, the standard deduction for HOH is $20,800 compared to $13,850 for Single - that's nearly $7,000 more of your income that's not taxed! Unfortunately, you would need to claim your daughter as a dependent to qualify for Head of Household status. You must have a qualifying person (usually a dependent child) to file HOH. Since you're providing most of the housing costs, you might actually benefit more than your boyfriend would by claiming her, especially if the HOH status drops your tax rate.
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