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NeonNomad

Need help calculating tax split for married filing jointly with separate finances

My husband and I got married last year and filed taxes jointly for the first time. While we filed jointly for the tax benefits and to meet Roth IRA requirements, we still maintain completely separate finances. I'm struggling to figure out how to fairly split our tax refund. Here's our situation: Total joint tax refund: $3,050 I earn about $52,000/year and had $9,200 withheld in taxes (about 17.7% of my income) My husband makes around $104,000/year and had $13,400 withheld (about 12.9% of his income) I'm trying to determine the fairest way to divide this refund given our income disparity and the different tax rates we'd have if filing separately. Should we split based on income percentage? Based on tax withholding percentage? Something else entirely? Any guidance on how other couples handle this situation would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!

This is a common question for newly married couples who keep separate finances! There's no single "right" way to split a tax refund, but here are some options to consider: 1. Proportional to income: Since your husband makes about 2/3 of your combined income, he would get about $2,033 while you get $1,017. 2. Proportional to withholding: Since you contributed about 41% of the total withholding and he contributed 59%, you would get about $1,250 and he would get $1,800. 3. Tax liability analysis: Calculate what each of you would have paid filing separately vs. jointly, then distribute the "savings" based on who contributed more to the joint benefit. Most couples I've worked with find the withholding-based split (option 2) to be fair since it's directly related to who "overpaid" throughout the year.

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For option 3, how would you actually calculate that? I'm in a similar situation but I'm not sure how to figure out what we each would have paid separately without actually doing separate returns.

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NeonNomad

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Thank you for these options! I was leaning toward the withholding-based split since that's money we each already contributed. If we went with option 3, would we need to actually prepare separate returns just to see the difference? That seems like a lot of extra work.

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You could use tax software to run a simulation of what you each would have paid filing separately. Just enter all your information as "married filing separately" instead of "jointly" and note the difference in total tax (don't actually file this way). For a quicker approach that's still reasonably accurate, many couples simply look at the withholding proportions as that reflects what each person contributed to the payment pool. Since tax refunds are essentially the government returning your overpayment, this method aligns well with the concept of "getting back what you put in.

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After struggling with this exact issue with my husband (we also keep separate finances), I stumbled across https://taxr.ai which helped us calculate the fairest split. Their service analyzed our tax documents and showed exactly how much each of us contributed to our joint refund. The tool basically compares what you each would have paid filing separately versus jointly, then determines how the refund should be split based on your individual tax situations. It saved us so much time versus manually calculating everything, and it eliminated any arguments about what was "fair.

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Dmitry Volkov

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Does this work for more complicated tax situations? We have rental property income and some investments that make our returns pretty complex.

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Ava Thompson

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I'm skeptical about any service that claims to solve this. Isn't this just a simple math problem? Why would someone need to pay for that?

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It absolutely handles complex situations including rental properties, investments, business income, and pretty much any other tax scenario. The real value is in accurately separating which parts of deductions, credits, and income adjustments apply to each spouse when everything is combined on a joint return. It's definitely more than simple math when you have things like phase-outs, income-dependent credits, and other tax provisions that affect the total differently than they would on separate returns. We thought it would be straightforward too until we realized how intertwined everything becomes on a joint return. The service cost us less than an hour of a CPA's time and gave us peace of mind that we were splitting things fairly.

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Ava Thompson

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I wanted to follow up about my experience with taxr.ai after I tried it. I was initially skeptical as I mentioned, but after struggling to calculate a fair split with my wife, I decided to give it a shot. The service was actually really helpful! It showed that our tax situation was more complex than I realized when it came to properly attributing tax benefits between us. The analysis showed that while I contributed more to our withholding, my wife's income situation actually generated more of our deductions and credits. Without their breakdown, we would have split our refund unfairly. Not posting this as an ad or anything, just wanted to share that it actually helped solve our disagreement about the refund.

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CyberSiren

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If you and your husband are still figuring this out and need to speak with an IRS agent for clarity (which might be helpful in understanding joint versus separate tax liability), I'd recommend using https://claimyr.com to get through to them. I wasted hours on hold before finding this service that got me through to an actual IRS representative in under 30 minutes. They also have a demo video here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c showing how it works. The IRS agents I spoke with were surprisingly helpful in explaining how joint filing affects tax liability for couples with disparate incomes. They walked me through some calculations that helped me understand why our refund was what it was, and how our individual withholdings contributed to that amount.

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How does this service actually work? Seems impossible that they could get you through the IRS phone system that quickly when everyone else is stuck on hold for hours.

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Zainab Yusuf

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This sounds like BS honestly. I've tried everything to get through to the IRS and nothing works. They're just going to take your money and you'll still be on hold forever.

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CyberSiren

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It uses a system that continuously redials the IRS using various access numbers until it gets through, then it connects you when a representative answers. It essentially automates the tedious process of calling, waiting, getting disconnected, and calling again that most of us do manually. I was skeptical too initially. The service doesn't promise instant connection - it just handles the frustrating redial process for you. In my case, it took about 25 minutes from when I started until I was speaking with someone, which was way better than the 3+ hours I spent previously getting nowhere. They don't take your money if they can't connect you, so there's really no risk.

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Zainab Yusuf

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I need to publicly eat my words. After posting my skeptical comment about Claimyr, I decided to try it myself since I've been trying to reach the IRS about an amended return issue for WEEKS. The service actually worked! I got connected to an IRS agent in about 40 minutes (which is miracle-level fast compared to my previous attempts). The agent I spoke with was able to answer my questions about how joint filing impacts individual tax liability, which was relevant to the original post here. She explained that the refund technically belongs to both spouses equally from a legal standpoint, but couples commonly use either income proportions or withholding proportions to split it fairly. Still can't believe I didn't waste an entire day on hold.

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My wife and I solved this by setting up a joint account just for tax-related stuff. We each contribute to that account proportionally based on our incomes throughout the year. When refunds come in, they go to that account and are already effectively "split" according to our contributions. It might be too late for this year, but something to consider for next year perhaps. Makes things much cleaner when tax time rolls around.

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NeonNomad

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I like this idea! Do you use this joint account for other shared expenses too, or literally just for taxes?

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We use it exclusively for tax-related items. We have a separate joint account for shared expenses like rent, utilities, groceries, etc., where we also contribute proportionally based on income. The tax account is specifically for estimated tax payments, property tax payments, and receiving refunds. It helps us keep everything organized and prevents any debates about who gets what when refunds arrive. It's also useful if you ever need to make estimated quarterly payments - you can both fund the account proportionally and payments come from there.

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Yara Khoury

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Has anyone just asked their tax preparer about this? When my wife and I file jointly, our accountant actually includes a breakdown of how much each of us contributed to the total tax liability and what portion of the refund "belongs" to each of us.

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Keisha Taylor

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This is what we do too! Our CPA provides a detailed split showing what our separate taxes would have been, what the joint benefit was, and how the refund should be allocated. It costs a bit more but totally worth avoiding the arguments!

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Paolo Ricci

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This is such a relatable situation! My partner and I went through the same thing our first year filing jointly. We ended up using the withholding proportion method that Fatima mentioned - it felt the most fair since it directly reflects what each person "overpaid" during the year. One thing that helped us was also considering our different tax situations beyond just income. For example, I had more pre-tax deductions through my employer (401k, health insurance), which reduced my taxable income but also meant my withholding rate looked lower. We factored that into our discussion. For this year, I'd suggest going with the withholding-based split since it's straightforward and fair. But definitely consider setting up a system for next year - whether it's a joint tax account like Connor suggested or just agreeing on a method upfront so you're not debating it every April!

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