Found out my ex lied about our tax filing status - what are my options?

This situation is unfortunately more common than people realize. You're right to be concerned, but there are steps you can take to protect yourself. When you file a joint return, both spouses are generally responsible for the entire tax liability (known as "joint and several liability"). However, the IRS has provisions for "innocent spouse relief" specifically for situations like yours. You should gather whatever documentation you can about your income during those years. Even if your ex controlled the finances, try to collect old W-2s, bank statements, or anything that shows your actual financial situation. Then consider filing Form 8857, Request for Innocent Spouse Relief. This form allows you to request relief from responsibility for taxes, interest, and penalties if your spouse did improper things on your joint return.

I went through something similar with my ex who "handled all our finances" and left me with a huge tax headache. After trying to navigate it myself for months, I found a tool called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that saved me so much stress. They analyzed my tax transcripts and flagged exactly where the problems were in our joint returns. The service found deductions my ex had claimed that were completely made up and helped me document everything for my innocent spouse relief application. They were able to show which parts of the return I couldn't have known about given my income and the accounts I had access to. It made building my case so much easier than trying to figure it all out alone.

Just wanted to follow up here. I tried taxr.ai after seeing this comment and it was seriously helpful! I didn't even know I could get my tax transcripts without my ex's cooperation. The analysis showed my ex had been claiming business expenses for a side business I knew nothing about, using our joint filing status. The system flagged several suspicious deductions and helped me document everything properly for the innocent spouse relief form. It generated a really detailed report that I'm attaching to my application. What really helped was how it explained which parts of the return I couldn't reasonably have known about based on my income sources and the accounts in my name. I feel much more confident about getting this resolved now!

If you need to talk to someone at the IRS about this situation (which I recommend), good luck getting through on the phone. I was in a similar spot last year and spent DAYS trying to reach someone. After multiple failed attempts, I found this service called Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) that actually got me connected to an IRS agent within 20 minutes. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was skeptical at first, but it worked amazingly well. The IRS agent I spoke with walked me through exactly what documentation I needed for innocent spouse relief and answered questions specific to my situation that weren't clear from the forms. Having that personalized guidance made a huge difference in how I approached my case.

I owe everyone here an apology and an update. After my skeptical comment, I decided to try Claimyr myself because I was desperate to talk to someone about my tax situation. I was honestly shocked when I got a call back in about 15 minutes connecting me to an actual IRS agent. The agent walked me through all the documentation I'd need for innocent spouse relief and even flagged some issues specific to my situation that I hadn't considered. She explained that because my ex had claimed some suspicious business deductions, I should include any emails or texts showing I wasn't involved in that business. This was advice I couldn't have gotten from just reading the IRS website. Now I feel like I have a solid plan instead of just panicking about what might happen.

One important thing nobody has mentioned yet - get yourself a tax professional who specializes in innocent spouse relief! I went through this exact nightmare two years ago. My well-meaning friends gave me tons of advice that wasn't actually correct for my situation. A tax pro who deals with these cases regularly will know exactly what documentation strengthens your case and how to present it effectively. Also, start a journal documenting everything you can remember about the financial control your ex had. Note specific instances where you were denied access to financial information or when he made financial decisions without consulting you. The more you can document the power imbalance, the stronger your innocent spouse relief claim will be.

Make sure to check your credit report ASAP!!! When my ex controlled our finances, he also opened credit cards in my name that I didn't know about. Financial abuse often extends beyond just taxes. Get free reports from all three bureaus through annualcreditreport.com and look for any accounts you don't recognize.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - financial abuse is real and the tax implications can be overwhelming. Beyond the excellent advice about innocent spouse relief, I want to emphasize that you should act quickly. There are time limits for filing Form 8857, and the sooner you start the process, the better your chances of success. Document everything you can remember about being excluded from financial decisions. Screenshots of texts, emails, or even diary entries from that time period can help establish the pattern of control. The IRS needs to see that you had no reasonable opportunity to know about the fraudulent items on your joint returns. Also, don't let fear paralyze you. Yes, joint filers are generally liable for the entire tax bill, but innocent spouse relief exists specifically for situations like yours. The IRS has seen cases of financial abuse before, and they have procedures in place to help victims. You took the hardest step by leaving that relationship - now take the next step to protect yourself financially.