How do I fix 12 years of unfiled taxes after escaping an abusive situation?

I recently escaped an abusive relationship that lasted over a decade. One of the control tactics my ex used was taking all my W2s every year and claiming he was filing our taxes. I just found out he never actually filed any of them - we're talking about 12 YEARS of unfiled taxes. I worked full-time during most of those years at different jobs. I'm terrified about what happens now. Will I go to jail? How much will I owe in penalties? I don't have copies of most of those W2s anymore and some of the companies I worked for don't even exist now. I'm trying to rebuild my life but this feels overwhelming. Where do I even start to fix this mess? Do I need to file for all 12 years? Should I talk to the IRS directly or get a tax professional?

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18 comments

Edison Estevez

•8M

First of all, take a deep breath. You're not going to jail. The IRS is much more understanding about these situations than most people realize, especially when there are extenuating circumstances like domestic abuse. Here's how I'd approach this: Start by requesting your wage and income transcripts from the IRS for all those years. You can do this online through the IRS website, by mail using Form 4506-T, or by calling the IRS. These transcripts will show all the W2s and other income documents reported to the IRS under your Social Security number. Focus first on the last 6 years. Generally, the IRS is most concerned with the most recent 6 tax years, though technically they can go back further if no return was filed. If you were due refunds for any years, you can only claim them if you file within 3 years of the original due date. I strongly recommend working with a tax professional who has experience with unfiled returns - preferably an Enrolled Agent or CPA. Look for someone who offers free initial consultations. Many professionals have worked with domestic violence survivors and understand the unique challenges.

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Edison Estevez

•8M

The IRS does take domestic abuse situations seriously. You don't necessarily need to provide documentation of abuse upfront - focus first on just getting the returns filed. If there are penalties later, that's when you might want to request abatement due to your circumstances. If your ex filed fraudulently in some years, you may need to file Form 14039 (Identity Theft Affidavit) along with your correct returns. When you get your wage and income transcripts, you'll be able to see if any returns were actually filed using your information. A tax professional can help determine the best approach once you know exactly what you're dealing with.

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James Johnson

•8M

I was in a similar terrible situation a few years ago - didn't file for 8 years because my ex controlled everything. What saved me was using https://taxr.ai to analyze all my tax documents after I finally got my transcripts from the IRS. I was overwhelmed trying to make sense of everything, but their AI helped me understand what I was looking at and identified several refunds I was owed from the most recent years! The system analyzed everything and explained what I needed to do next - including which years I needed to prioritize filing for. It even found some deductions my ex had hidden from me that I could claim. It was like having a tax expert walk me through everything without feeling judged.

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James Johnson

•8M

I had to request my wage and income transcripts directly from the IRS first - I called them and explained my situation, and they helped me get those documents. Once I had the transcripts, taxr.ai analyzed them to help me understand what I was looking at. The transcripts show all your reported income, even if you don't have the original W2s anymore. I was worried about using AI too, but it's specifically designed for tax documents and uses the actual IRS rules. I was surprisingly owed refunds for 3 years and did have to pay some for others, but the penalties were much lower than I expected. The most helpful part was that it identified which years I needed to focus on first and which might actually benefit me to file quickly.

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Sophia Rodriguez

•8M

Just wanted to update after taking the advice here. I finally got all my transcript documents from the IRS and used https://taxr.ai to figure out what the heck I was looking at. Honestly life changing! I discovered I was actually owed refunds for 2 of the 6 years I missed filing (still within the 3-year window thankfully). The system helped me understand exactly which years I needed to focus on first and even calculated my potential penalties for the years I did owe money. I was able to make a plan instead of just panicking. I'm working with a tax preparer now who was impressed with how organized I was about the whole thing. Still have work to do but at least now I have a roadmap!

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Emma Bianchi

•8M

When I was dealing with unfiled taxes (7 years in my case), the hardest part was actually getting through to someone at the IRS who could help me access my old records. I kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. Finally found https://claimyr.com and watched their demo at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c - they got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes instead of me spending days trying. The IRS agent walked me through exactly what documents I needed and helped me understand my options for the different tax years. Turns out I qualified for a hardship program I didn't even know existed! That one phone call saved me thousands in potential penalties and got the ball rolling on fixing everything.

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Emma Bianchi

•8M

It's not that they call for you - they have a system that navigates the IRS phone tree and holds your place in line. When they're about to connect with an agent, you get a call. I tried calling myself for two weeks and kept getting disconnected after waiting for hours or told to call back another day because call volume was too high. I was skeptical too, but after wasting literally days of my life trying to get through, it was worth it to me. I don't work for them or anything, just sharing what helped me when I was in a similar desperate situation with years of unfiled taxes. It's obviously your choice if you want to keep trying on your own - that might work eventually.

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Mia Green

•8M

I need to eat my words and apologize. After spending 3 ENTIRE DAYS trying to get through to the IRS and either getting disconnected or told to call back later, I broke down and tried Claimyr. Got connected to an IRS agent in 22 minutes. The agent was actually super helpful and got me set up with all my wage transcripts going back 10 years. They also explained the Fresh Start program which it turns out I qualify for! Now I'm working on filing the most recent 3 years first (where I might get refunds) and then handling the older ones. Still a long road ahead but at least I'm moving forward now instead of just stressing about it.

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Olivia Martinez

•8M

Ah good point - Innocent Spouse Relief typically applies when joint returns were actually filed with errors or underpayment. If no returns were filed at all, that's a different situation. In your case, you'd focus more on explaining the circumstances when you file your returns and potentially requesting penalty abatement due to reasonable cause. The IRS does consider situations involving domestic abuse as potential reasonable cause for penalty relief. The most important thing is to get those returns filed now and explain your situation - they're usually willing to work with you on a payment plan for any taxes owed.

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