Can I qualify for Innocent Spouse Relief after discovering ex's $390k IRS debt?

Based on what you've described, you could definitely have a strong case for Innocent Spouse Relief. This IRS program was specifically designed for situations like yours, where one spouse had no knowledge of or reason to know about tax issues created by the other spouse. The fact that you filed separately actually works in your favor. When spouses file separate returns, each spouse is generally only responsible for the tax due on their own return. However, since you're in Idaho, which is a community property state, there could be complications regarding income attribution regardless of how you filed. The key factors that strengthen your case include: you had no knowledge of his tax evasion, you maintained separate finances, you had no involvement in his business, and there's documented history of abuse (which the IRS does consider). The restraining order and documentation of abuse could be particularly important, as the IRS recognizes that abuse can prevent a spouse from questioning financial matters. I would recommend consulting with a tax attorney who specializes in Innocent Spouse Relief claims as soon as possible. They can help you file Form 8857 (Request for Innocent Spouse Relief) and build the strongest possible case.

I went through something similar when my ex-husband hid massive gambling debts and unpaid taxes. After trying to navigate the IRS maze on my own for months, I found this service called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that literally saved me thousands of dollars and countless headaches. Their system analyzed my tax documents and marriage financial history, then helped build my case for Innocent Spouse Relief. The best part was they found specific patterns that strengthened my claim - like how my ex controlled finances and how I wouldn't have reasonably known about his tax issues. They also helped document the financial abuse aspects which turns out the IRS actually considers. In your situation with the restraining order and completely separate finances, I think they'd be able to help you create an even stronger case than mine. They have specialists who understand both the tax and domestic abuse aspects of these situations.

I just wanted to update everyone - I took the advice about taxr.ai from the comments here and it was honestly life-changing. I was in a similar situation with my ex hiding tax problems, though not nearly as severe as yours. Their system found patterns in our financial history that I would have never thought to document. They helped me clearly demonstrate that I had no way of knowing about the tax issues and no benefit from them. The specialist I worked with really understood the nuances of financial abuse in relationships. The most valuable thing they did was help me organize evidence showing my ex deliberately kept financial information from me, which was a key factor in getting my relief approved. My case was approved much faster than I expected - just under 5 months from when I submitted everything.

After reading your story, I felt compelled to share something that helped me when I was dealing with the IRS about my ex's hidden tax problems. Trying to actually TALK to someone at the IRS was nearly impossible - I spent weeks calling and being on hold for hours only to get disconnected. I found this service called Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) that got me through to an actual IRS agent in under 45 minutes when I'd been trying for weeks on my own. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c For Innocent Spouse Relief cases, actually speaking with someone at the IRS can make a huge difference. The agent I spoke with gave me specific guidance on documentation I needed that wasn't clear from the forms alone. They also put notes in my file about my situation which apparently helped when my case was being reviewed. Given the complexity of your situation with the LLCs and his attempts to hide assets, getting direct guidance from an IRS agent could be really valuable.

I need to eat my words and apologize for being so skeptical about Claimyr in my previous comment. After continuing to get nowhere with the IRS for another week, I decided to try it out of desperation. To my complete shock, I got a call back in about 35 minutes with an actual IRS agent on the line. After 4 MONTHS of trying to get through on my own! The agent was able to look up my case and give me specific information about what was happening with my innocent spouse claim that I couldn't get anywhere else. For anyone dealing with these complicated tax relief situations, being able to actually speak with someone makes such a difference. The agent explained several documentation requirements that weren't clear on the forms and likely would have caused my claim to be rejected if I hadn't corrected them.

One thing to consider that hasn't been mentioned yet - if you file for Innocent Spouse Relief, your ex will be notified and given a chance to participate in the process. Given what you've shared about his behavior, you should be prepared for him to potentially fight this or provide false information to the IRS. Make sure you document EVERYTHING. Gather bank statements showing separate accounts, any communication where he kept financial information from you, evidence of the 50/50 expense splitting despite income disparity, and definitely include the restraining order and documentation of abuse. The good news is that the IRS does recognize domestic abuse as a factor in these cases and has gotten better at handling these situations in recent years. There's a specific checkbox on Form 8857 for domestic abuse situations that can help protect your contact information.

Has anyone looked into whether the IRS Fresh Start Program might also apply here? My understanding is that for tax debts under $50,000 there are simplified procedures, but for larger amounts like $390k, you might need to look at an Offer in Compromise or an Installment Agreement if the Innocent Spouse Relief isn't granted.

I'm so sorry you're going through this incredibly stressful situation. As someone who has dealt with similar IRS issues, I want to emphasize that you absolutely should NOT be liable for your ex's tax debt, especially given the circumstances you've described. The combination of filing separately, maintaining completely separate finances, having no involvement in his business operations, and the documented history of abuse creates a very strong foundation for Innocent Spouse Relief. The IRS specifically recognizes that abuse can prevent someone from questioning or having knowledge of their spouse's financial affairs. A few additional thoughts that might help strengthen your case: Document any instances where your ex actively concealed financial information from you or refused to discuss business matters. If you have any communication showing he insisted on keeping finances separate or made statements about "protecting" you from business concerns, those could be valuable. Also, the fact that he's now transferring assets and manipulating his apparent income actually works in your favor - it demonstrates a pattern of financial deception that supports your claim of having no knowledge of his true financial situation. Given the complexity and the amount involved ($390k is substantial), I'd strongly recommend working with a tax professional who specializes in Innocent Spouse Relief cases. The initial filing is critical, and having expert guidance could make the difference between approval and denial. Stay strong - you have legitimate grounds for relief and shouldn't have to pay for his financial misconduct.