Do employers get charged for unemployment benefits when you file a claim with NYS Department of Labor?

Yes, employers do pay unemployment taxes, but it's not a direct charge for each claim. They pay into the unemployment insurance system through payroll taxes throughout the year based on their experience rating. When you file, it may affect their future tax rate, but they've already been paying into the system. You shouldn't feel guilty about filing - you earned this benefit through your work.

my old boss told me not to file because it would cost them money but i think he was just trying to scare me

The way it works is employers pay unemployment insurance taxes quarterly based on their payroll and experience rating. If they have more claims, their rate can go up the following year, but it's not like they get a bill for your specific claim amount. The system is designed so workers who lose their jobs through no fault of their own can get benefits without worrying about the employer's costs.

ugh the whole system is rigged anyway, employers find ways to contest every claim to keep their rates low

I had trouble reaching someone at NYS Department of Labor when my employer contested my claim and I needed to provide additional information. Kept getting busy signals and disconnected calls. Finally used claimyr.com - they got me through to an actual agent who explained the whole process. There's a good video demo at https://youtu.be/qyftW-mnTNI that shows how it works. Saved me weeks of frustration trying to get through on my own.

just file already, you paid into this system with every paycheck

You're absolutely right to be concerned about your former employer, but please don't let that stop you from filing. The unemployment system is insurance that both you and your employer have been paying into - it's there specifically for situations like yours. Your employer has been paying unemployment taxes regardless of whether anyone files claims, and while your claim might affect their future rate slightly, it's spread out over time and factored into their business costs. You earned this benefit through your work, and filing for it won't suddenly bankrupt them. Focus on getting back on your feet - that's what the system is designed for.

I completely understand your concern about your former employer - it shows you're a considerate person. But here's the thing: you didn't choose to get laid off, and unemployment benefits exist precisely for this situation. Your employer has been paying into the unemployment insurance fund as part of doing business, just like they pay for workers' comp or other insurance. When you file a claim, they don't get a direct bill - instead, it may slightly affect their experience rating for future tax calculations. Think of it this way: if your house burned down, you wouldn't hesitate to file an insurance claim because it might affect the insurance company's profits, right? This is similar - you and your employer have been paying premiums (through payroll taxes) for this exact coverage. File your claim and focus on finding your next opportunity.