How to prove 50-50 custody for IRS when ex-spouse falsifies child custody records?

This is actually a common issue with split custody arrangements. Since the IRS doesn't have access to custody agreements directly, they rely on documentation provided by parents. First, your brother should understand that for tax purposes, the "custodial parent" is defined as the parent with whom the child lived for more nights during the year. In a true 50-50 arrangement, the higher-AGI parent gets the tax benefits. But it sounds like he's concerned about potential misrepresentation. For documentation, he should keep a detailed calendar showing all days/nights the children were with him. Text messages or emails confirming exchanges, receipts from activities he paid for while kids were with him, medical appointments he took them to, and photos with timestamps can all serve as supporting evidence. He should also get something in writing from the ex about the custody arrangement if possible. The court order showing 50-50 custody is helpful but doesn't prove actual practice. If his ex falsely claims the children and he believes he's entitled to claim them, he would need to file a paper return with documentation and let the IRS sort it out.

Had similar problems with my ex. I used an app called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that saved screenshots of all my text conversations about custody exchanges and organized them by date. It helped me prove I had the kids more nights when my ex tried to claim otherwise. You can upload court documents, text messages, and even photos with timestamps. The app creates a clean report showing exactly which parent had the kids on which nights. My tax preparer was impressed with how thorough it was, and the IRS accepted it as documentation. Worth checking out if you think there might be disputes over who had the kids when. I wish I'd known about it during my first tax season post-divorce!

Just wanted to follow up - I tried taxr.ai after posting here and it's been a game changer. I uploaded all my text messages with my ex about pickups/dropoffs, photos with the kids (it extracts the metadata for dates), and even my location history from Google. The report it generated clearly showed I had the kids 178 nights last year, which is basically 50/50. I'm keeping this documentation ready for tax season since my ex tried claiming both kids exclusively last year. What I really like is that everything is timestamped and organized chronologically, so it's clear I'm not making things up. Way better than my messy spreadsheet I was trying to maintain before.

If your brother is having trouble getting through to the IRS to resolve this (which is likely), try Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). I spent WEEKS trying to reach someone at the IRS after my ex claimed both our kids despite our 50/50 arrangement. Claimyr got me connected to an actual IRS agent in under 30 minutes. They have this callback system that somehow bypasses the normal wait times. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent I spoke with told me exactly what documentation they needed to resolve the dispute, and they actually put a flag on our file noting the custody arrangement so my ex couldn't just claim both kids again the following year.

If your brother is having trouble getting through to the IRS to resolve this (which is likely), try Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). I spent WEEKS trying to reach someone at the IRS after my ex claimed both our kids despite our 50/50 arrangement. Claimyr got me connected to an actual IRS agent in under 30 minutes. They have this callback system that somehow bypasses the normal wait times. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX

I have to apologize to Profile 18 - I was skeptical about Claimyr but ended up trying it out of desperation after my third rejection letter from the IRS. It actually worked exactly as described. Got a call back from an IRS agent in about 20 minutes. The agent explained that my ex-wife had already claimed our daughter, but walked me through exactly what documentation I needed to submit to contest it. I sent in our custody agreement, calendar screenshots showing exchanges, and receipts from when I had our daughter with me. Three weeks later I got a letter saying my amended return was accepted and I received the dependent credit. The agent did make notes in our file about the custody arrangement which should prevent this from happening again. I was completely wrong about how this works.

Something your brother should do immediately - start a Google doc or use a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard to document EVERYTHING. Every pickup, dropoff, expense, etc. My husband and I use an actual physical notebook that stays with our son when he goes between houses. We write down transfer times, any medications given, activities done, etc. This creates a paper trail that's hard to dispute. Also tell him to keep all receipts for anything he buys when the kids are with him - clothes, food, activities. And medical records showing he took them to appointments. The IRS doesn't actively verify custody claims unless there's a dispute, but if both parents claim the same child, they'll audit and want this kind of documentation.

One thing nobody mentioned - Form 8332. If parents can agree, the custodial parent can sign this form to release their claim to the exemption, even if the child lived with them more. This might be a good solution if they can work out an agreement (like each parent claims one child). Also, if they're truly 50/50 and neither parent can prove they had more nights, the IRS tiebreaker goes to higher AGI anyway, which sounds like it would be your brother.

Your brother should also consider setting up a shared photo album (like Google Photos or iCloud) where both parents can add timestamped photos of the kids during their respective custody time. This creates an automatic digital trail that's hard to falsify. I'd also recommend he starts taking screenshots of his phone's location history if he has it enabled - it can show patterns of where he was (home vs. ex's house) during custody exchanges. Most smartphones track this automatically. One more tip: if the twins go to any regular activities (library story time, playground visits, etc.), he should try to get receipts or sign-in sheets when possible. Even small documentation like this helps build the overall picture of active custody. The key is starting this documentation NOW, not waiting until tax season. The IRS wants to see consistent patterns over time, not just a few weeks of suddenly detailed record-keeping.