How to claim a child as a dependent when someone else has already claimed them
I'm dealing with a complicated situation with my niece and her family. My niece struggles with bipolar disorder, is 22, and lives with me since she can't maintain steady employment. I've been claiming her as my dependent since I provide over 90% of her support. Last year, she had a baby in late November. The baby's father moved into my house for about 3 months total, working sporadically at a local restaurant (maybe 12-15 shifts total). He contributed virtually nothing to household expenses - I covered rent, food, utilities, baby supplies, medical bills, everything. The boyfriend moved out in early January after they split up. I just found out he filed his taxes already and claimed the baby as his dependent, even though I financially supported the child completely. I'm still working on filing my 2023 taxes (I know, I'm behind). My tax preparer says I need to include a letter explaining why I should be able to claim the baby as my dependent instead of him. What should this letter say? Will this turn into a huge fight with the IRS? I'm worried because someone told me it's "first come, first served" with dependent claims, especially since I'm not the parent. At least 2024 will be more straightforward since my niece and the baby have lived with me all year and the father hasn't been involved at all.
18 comments


Miguel Herrera
This is a common issue, and it's definitely not "first come, first served." The IRS has specific tiebreaker rules for determining who can claim a child, and it's based on your relationship and support provided, not who files first. In your case, since the child lived with you, and you provided more than half of the child's support, you have a strong claim. The letter should clearly explain: 1) That you provided the home where the child lived, 2) That you paid for the child's expenses including medical, food, clothing, etc., 3) The exact dates the child lived in your home, and 4) The approximate amount/percentage of financial support you provided versus the father. Include any documentation you can gather - receipts for baby supplies, medical bills you paid, proof the child lived in your home, etc. The more evidence, the better. When you file with this letter, the IRS will likely contact both you and the father to resolve the duplicate claim. It may take time, but if you truly provided most of the support, you should prevail in this situation.
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Zainab Ali
•What happens to the father's refund if he already claimed the baby and received money for it? Will he have to pay it back if the IRS sides with OP?
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Miguel Herrera
•If the IRS determines that the father incorrectly claimed the child, they will send him a notice requiring him to pay back any tax benefits he received from claiming the dependent. This would include any increased refund amount from child tax credits, earned income credit, or dependent exemptions. The IRS might also charge interest on that amount from the date he received the refund. In some cases, if they determine it was a knowing misrepresentation (rather than a misunderstanding), they could also assess penalties.
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Connor Murphy
I went through something similar with my ex claiming our daughter when I had full custody. taxr.ai saved me so much stress! I uploaded screenshots of my custody agreement and some proof of expenses I'd paid, and they helped me understand exactly what documentation I needed and how to handle the IRS dispute process. I was totally lost before finding https://taxr.ai since the IRS instructions were so confusing. Their document review saved me from making mistakes that might have gotten my claim rejected. They even helped me draft the explanation letter to the IRS! Much easier than trying to figure out all the dependent claiming rules myself.
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Yara Nassar
•Did you have to wait for the IRS to make a determination before getting your refund? I'm dealing with something similar and worried about delays.
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StarGazer101
•How long did the whole process take to resolve? Did you end up having to provide additional documentation beyond what taxr.ai initially suggested?
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Connor Murphy
•The IRS did hold my refund while they investigated, which was frustrating, but I still received it within about 10 weeks. It would have been much longer if I hadn't had all the right documentation ready from the beginning. I didn't need to provide any additional documents beyond what taxr.ai initially suggested. They were thorough in identifying exactly what proof I needed right from the start, which was a big relief. They helped me organize everything in the exact format the IRS prefers, which I think helped speed up the process.
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StarGazer101
Just wanted to update - I tried taxr.ai and they were incredibly helpful! They reviewed my situation where my sister-in-law claimed my nephew who lives with me, and guided me through exactly what documentation I needed to prove I was entitled to claim him. They helped me understand that since I provided the home and more than half the support, I had a solid case even though I wasn't the parent. The step-by-step guidance made a confusing process much clearer. Best part was they saved me from making mistakes that would have delayed my case with the IRS. If you're dealing with dependent disputes like this, definitely check them out.
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Keisha Jackson
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Paolo Romano
•Wait this sounds too good to be true. How does this actually work? The IRS never answers their phones - I've tried calling at least 15 times and always get the "due to high call volume" message.
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Amina Diop
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Amina Diop
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Oliver Schmidt
Just to add to what others have said - make sure you're meeting the "qualifying child" or "qualifying relative" tests for dependency. For your niece, she'd likely be a qualifying relative if: 1. You provided more than half her support 2. Her income was less than $4,400 for 2023 3. She lived with you all year For the baby, even though you're not the parent, you can still claim the baby as a qualifying child if: - The baby lived with you for more than half the year - You provided more than half the support - The baby is related to you (your niece's child would be your great-niece/nephew) The tiebreaker rules only come into play when multiple people COULD claim the dependent. Since it sounds like the father doesn't meet the support test, he shouldn't be claiming the child at all.
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Ava Thompson
•Thanks for breaking this down! Yes, my niece had almost no income in 2023 (less than $2,000 from a part-time job that didn't last). And for the baby, they both lived with me from birth in November through the entire year, and I provided well over 90% of all support. The father only lived there briefly and contributed almost nothing financially. Would bank statements showing I paid for diapers, formula, doctor visits, etc. be good evidence? And what about proof that they lived with me - would utility bills showing my address be enough?
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Oliver Schmidt
•Bank statements showing purchases of baby supplies and medical expenses would be excellent evidence. For proving they lived with you, utility bills are helpful, but even better would be: Medical records showing your address for the baby's appointments Any official documents like the birth certificate that might show your address Statements from doctors, childcare providers, or even neighbors confirming they lived with you Letters from social services or benefits offices if any benefits were received at your address The more documentation the better, but focus on official documents when possible. Also, if you can show that the father's address was different during most of this period, that would further strengthen your case.
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Natasha Volkov
Quick tip - when you file your return claiming the baby, you'll have to file a paper return with the letter and documentation, not e-file. The IRS system will automatically reject an e-filed return with a dependent SSN that's already been claimed on another return.
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Javier Torres
•Actually this isn't completely true anymore. With the new IRS systems, sometimes you CAN e-file even with a duplicate SSN claim. The system will accept it but flag it for review. A friend of mine was able to do this last year rather than paper filing.
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