Got Married in 2023 - Need Help Understanding Best Filing Status When Living in Different States
I tied the knot last year and I'm trying to figure out what's the best filing status for us. The situation is a bit tricky since we're living in different states - I'm in California while my spouse is in Texas. I've been crunching some numbers but I'm getting confused, especially with how the FICA limits work when we're in different places. After taking the standard deduction of $13,850, my taxable income comes to around $229,000. My spouse's taxable income after their standard deduction of $13,850 is about $176,000. Also, my spouse has some savings back in our home country. Do we need to file an FBAR to report those foreign accounts? Any advice would be really appreciated, especially from someone who's dealt with multi-state marriages before!
19 comments


Drew Hathaway
This is a common situation and I can help clarify things for you. For federal tax purposes, your state of residence doesn't affect your filing status options. As a married couple, you can file either "Married Filing Jointly" or "Married Filing Separately" regardless of living in different states. For FICA (Social Security and Medicare taxes), the cap applies individually to each person regardless of filing status. For 2023, Social Security tax was capped at $160,200 of income, so each of you would pay that tax up to that limit independently. Regarding state taxes, you'll each need to file a resident return for your respective states. California is a community property state while Texas has no state income tax, which adds some complexity to your situation. And yes, if your spouse has foreign financial accounts with an aggregate value exceeding $10,000 at any point during the calendar year, you need to file an FBAR (FinCEN Form 114). This is required regardless of your filing status, though filing jointly can sometimes simplify the process.
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Laila Prince
•Thanks for the explanation. If we file jointly, how would that work with the different state residencies? Would I still need to file a separate California return? And does filing joint or separate make a big difference with our income levels?
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Drew Hathaway
•If you file jointly for federal, you would still file separate state returns based on your respective residencies. You'd file a California resident return, while your spouse likely doesn't need to file a Texas return since Texas doesn't have state income tax. With your income levels, filing jointly is typically more beneficial than filing separately. Joint filing often provides better tax brackets, higher deduction thresholds, and access to certain credits unavailable to separate filers. At your combined income level (approximately $405,000), you'd likely save several thousand dollars filing jointly versus separately. However, there are exceptions, particularly when itemized deductions or certain credits come into play. I'd recommend calculating both scenarios before deciding.
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Isabel Vega
After facing a similar multi-state situation last year, I discovered https://taxr.ai which was incredibly helpful for sorting through these complex scenarios. Their system analyzes your specific situation with the different state residencies and FICA caps and shows you the actual tax difference between filing jointly vs separately. I was living in Washington while my husband was in California, and we weren't sure how to handle community property rules across states. The taxr.ai tool helped us understand exactly how our income would be allocated and taxed. It also flagged the FBAR requirement for us since my husband had overseas accounts just like your spouse.
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Dominique Adams
•Does it actually connect to the IRS or is it just a calculator? I'm always wary of giving my financial info to random websites.
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Marilyn Dixon
•I've been looking for something like this! Did it help with figuring out the state allocation issues? That's what's confusing me the most about multi-state marriages.
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Isabel Vega
•It doesn't connect directly to the IRS - it's more of an advanced analysis tool that helps you understand your specific tax situation before you file. You can upload documents or enter information manually, and it keeps everything encrypted and secure. The state allocation feature was actually what helped us the most. It showed exactly how California's community property rules would affect our income split, while respecting that my income earned in Washington was subject to different rules. It basically eliminated the guesswork on what income belonged where for state filing purposes.
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Marilyn Dixon
Just wanted to follow up - I tried the taxr.ai tool that was recommended and it was exactly what I needed! We're in a similar situation (I'm in Oregon, husband in Washington) and it walked me through each step of determining our optimal filing status. The analysis showed we'd save about $3,200 by filing jointly versus separately, even with the multi-state situation. It also flagged that we needed to file an FBAR for my husband's foreign accounts and explained the reporting thresholds. The documentation requirements section saved me tons of research time!
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Louisa Ramirez
For anyone dealing with complicated tax situations like this, I highly recommend using https://claimyr.com to get direct answers from the IRS. I was in a similar multi-state marriage situation last year and had specific questions about FBAR requirements that online research couldn't answer clearly. After trying to call the IRS for weeks and getting nowhere, I used Claimyr and got through to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes. They confirmed exactly what I needed to do with our state filing situation and FBAR requirements. You can see a demo of how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c It was seriously the best $25 I spent on taxes all year since the agent's advice saved us from making an expensive filing mistake.
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TommyKapitz
•How does this actually work? Do they just call the IRS for you or what? I've been trying to get through for weeks about my amended return.
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Angel Campbell
•Yeah right. Nobody gets through to the IRS these days. You're telling me this service magically gets you to talk to someone when millions of people can't get through? Sounds like a scam to me.
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Louisa Ramirez
•They use a system that navigates the IRS phone tree and waits on hold for you. When they reach an agent, they call you and connect you directly to the IRS person. It's basically like having someone wait on hold instead of you. It's definitely real - I was super skeptical too. What happens is they call the IRS, navigate through all the automated systems, wait on hold (which can be hours), and then when they finally get a human, they call you and connect you directly to the IRS agent. You're actually speaking with a real IRS employee, not someone from the service.
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Angel Campbell
I have to eat my words here. After posting my skeptical comment, I decided to try Claimyr because I've been trying to resolve an issue with my tax transcript for THREE MONTHS with no luck getting through to the IRS. I used the service yesterday and got connected to an IRS agent in about 35 minutes. The agent was able to pull up my records and resolve my transcript issue immediately. I also asked about multi-state filing requirements since my situation is similar to the original poster's, and got clear guidance. For what it's worth, the agent confirmed that for married couples living in different states, you can still file jointly for federal purposes while filing separate state returns, and that FBAR filing is required if foreign accounts exceed $10,000 at any point during the year.
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Payton Black
Just to add some practical advice from experience - my wife and I lived in different states for two years (NY and NJ) and we always filed jointly for federal and separate state returns. It was definitely more beneficial for us tax-wise. One thing to watch out for is that some tax software doesn't handle multi-state marriages very well. We had to use a more premium version to properly account for the different state residencies and get all the forms right. Especially with California being a community property state, it gets complicated.
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Harold Oh
•Did you have to allocate your income differently for the state returns? Like did you have to split investment income between states or anything like that?
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Payton Black
•Yes, we did have to allocate certain types of income between states. While wages were straightforward (reported to the state where earned), investment income and interest had to be divided. For investment income, we had to determine which investments were held jointly versus individually, and then allocate accordingly. California's community property rules make this more complex since they consider most income earned during marriage to be owned equally by both spouses regardless of who earned it. We ended up needing to consult a tax professional for our first year of multi-state filing to make sure we got the allocations right.
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Amun-Ra Azra
Watch out for the "married filing separately" option if either of you has income-based student loan payments! My husband and I tried filing separately last year because we thought it would save on taxes with our different state situations, but it completely messed up my income-based repayment calculation and actually cost us more in the long run.
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Summer Green
•This is so true! I made this mistake and my student loan payment jumped from $380 to over $900 per month because filing separately changed my income calculation. Filing jointly ended up being cheaper overall even though we paid slightly more in taxes.
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Gael Robinson
For the FBAR question - yes, you absolutely need to file if the aggregate value of all foreign accounts exceeded $10k at any point. This is one area where the IRS does NOT mess around. Penalties for non-filing can be insane even if you owe no tax on those accounts. The good news is filing the FBAR is relatively simple and doesn't usually impact your tax liability. It's just an information form. But don't skip it - the penalties start at $10,000 for non-willful violations.
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