Can my ex deduct financial support as spousal support on taxes when we had no legal agreement?

This is actually a pretty clear-cut situation from a tax perspective. For payments to qualify as deductible alimony/spousal support for the payer (and therefore taxable income for the recipient), they must be required by a divorce or separation instrument. Without a legal agreement in place during 2023, your ex-husband cannot legally deduct those payments on his tax return. The 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act changed alimony rules, but even under both old and new rules, payments made without a legal agreement in place are considered voluntary personal payments, not deductible spousal support. If he's attempting to deduct these payments, he's doing so incorrectly. These voluntary payments are considered gifts from a tax perspective, and you don't need to report them as income. There's also an annual gift tax exclusion ($17,000 for 2023) that would apply before your ex would even need to file a gift tax return.

I went through almost this EXACT situation with my ex! After hours of frustrating research and conflicting advice, I found taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) and it was a game-changer. You upload any documents you have - bank statements showing transfers, emails about the money, your divorce decree - and their AI analyzes everything and gives you super clear guidance. In my case, they confirmed what I suspected - my ex couldn't claim those payments as deductions without a formal agreement in place. The tool even helped me draft a response letter when my ex tried to send me a 1099-MISC for the money! It's so much better than trying to piece together contradictory info from random websites.

Just wanted to update everyone - I decided to try taxr.ai after all and I'm actually really impressed! The interface was super straightforward and I got answers within hours. Turns out my situation was even more complicated than I thought because we had moved between states during our separation. The AI analysis confirmed that informal support payments before a legal agreement aren't taxable income for me or deductible for my ex. They even provided specific tax code references I can use if the IRS ever questions anything. Definitely recommend checking it out if you're in a similar situation - saved me so much stress and probably a lot of money too!

If your ex is being sketchy about the amounts he gave you, you might need to talk directly with the IRS to sort this out. I tried calling them for WEEKS about a similar issue (ex claimed deductions he shouldn't have) and could never get through. Finally found Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) which got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes when I'd been trying for days on my own. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent was actually super helpful and explained exactly what documentation I needed to prove my case. They can also tell you if your ex has submitted any forms that incorrectly list you as receiving alimony. Sometimes just knowing what's been filed can help you prepare your defense.

I need to eat my words about Claimyr. After another week of trying to reach the IRS myself with no luck, I broke down and tried it. Got connected to an agent in about 15 minutes when I'd been trying for WEEKS on my own. The IRS agent confirmed that without a formal support agreement in place for 2023, my ex cannot legally claim those payments as deductible alimony. They also explained that if he does incorrectly deduct them, that's HIS problem with the IRS, not mine. She suggested I keep good records of what I actually received though, just in case there are questions later. If you're dealing with an ex trying to claim improper deductions, definitely worth getting the official word directly from the IRS. And honestly, the time saved not sitting on hold was completely worth it.

Have you considered asking your ex to show you what exactly he's deducting? My ex tried to pull something similar, claiming he'd given me WAY more than he actually had. I requested a copy of his tax schedule that showed the deductions and the amounts were totally inflated. If you're on speaking terms at all, might be worth directly asking.

Does your divorce lawyer know about this? Mine was super helpful with tax questions during my divorce. Lawyers usually keep detailed records of all financial exchanges during proceedings so they might have documentation that would help prove what you actually received.