Social Security ex-spouse benefits without knowing his SSN - how to apply when I reach FRA?

You absolutely can claim on your ex-spouse's record without knowing his SSN! I help people with this situation frequently. Since you were married more than 10 years (the minimum requirement), you'll qualify as long as you've been divorced at least 2 years (which you have). When you apply, bring your marriage certificate and divorce decree to your appointment. SSA can locate his record with his name and date of birth. They won't notify him - this doesn't affect his benefits at all. At your FRA, you can get up to 50% of his FRA benefit amount if that's higher than your own benefit.

DONT LISTEN TO THE PERSON ABOVE!!!! My sister tried to get benefits on her ex and they ABSOLUTELY contacted him and it was a NIGHTMARE!!! They made her provide everything under the sun and then denied her anyway. The system is rigged against divorced women!!!

When I applied for my ex-spouse benefits, I just brought my marriage certificate and divorce papers like the first person said. My ex passed away so it was a little different (survivor benefits), but they never would have contacted him anyway. Good luck!

Do you know if hes already collecting? Because that matters too, I think. If he hasnt filed yet you might have to wait until he does? Not 100% on that part tho

Getting an appointment with SSA is the hardest part of this whole process! I tried for weeks to get through on their 800 number last year when helping my mom with something similar. I finally found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that gets you through to an agent quickly. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. Saved me hours of frustration, and the SSA agent was able to schedule an in-person appointment for my mom to bring in her documents.

I went thru this last year. Quick tip: make sure ur marriage certificate is an official copy not a photocopy. They rejected mine first time and I had to go back to my home state to get another certified copy. Such a pain!!

Everyone's focused on the paperwork, but let me add something about the actual benefit calculation. When you file, you'll automatically get whatever's higher - your own benefit or the divorced spouse benefit (up to 50% of his FRA amount). BUT, if you file before your own FRA, you'll get a reduced amount of whichever benefit applies. That's why waiting until your full retirement age is smart if you can. Also, divorced spouse benefits don't earn delayed retirement credits, so there's no advantage to waiting past your FRA to file for those (unlike with your own benefit).

Just wondering but does anyone know if she can still get spousal benefits if her ex passes away? Would they convert to survivor benefits? My friend is in a similar situation.

btw they're going to ask for your bank account info for direct deposit so have that ready for your appointment!!

This is such valuable information! I'm in a similar situation - divorced after 18 years, approaching my FRA next year. One thing I'd add is that you might want to create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov if you haven't already. You can see your benefit estimate there, which will help you compare your own benefit to what 50% of his might be. Also, when you do make that appointment, consider asking them to run both scenarios (your benefit vs. ex-spouse benefit) so you can see the exact numbers. Sometimes the difference isn't as much as people expect, but it's worth checking since you put in all those years of marriage!

I just wanted to chime in as someone who went through this exact process two years ago! I was in almost the identical situation - married 22 years, divorced for 4 years, and my ex was older. Like others have said, you definitely don't need his SSN. I brought my certified marriage certificate and divorce decree to my appointment, and they found his record with just his name and birth date. The whole process was actually smoother than I expected. One thing I'd suggest is calling SSA about 3 months before your FRA to schedule your appointment, since they can get backed up. Also, don't stress too much about the paperwork - they'll tell you exactly what you need and give you time to get any missing documents. The peace of mind knowing I was getting the higher benefit amount was worth all the initial anxiety!

As someone who works in retirement planning, I want to emphasize a few key points that haven't been fully covered. First, @Nia Davis, you're in a great position since you meet all the requirements - 10+ year marriage and 2+ years divorced. When you apply, SSA will automatically calculate both your own benefit and the ex-spouse benefit and give you whichever is higher. One important detail: if you're considering remarriage, know that getting remarried would generally end your eligibility for ex-spouse benefits (unless that marriage also ends). Also, keep in mind that if you have multiple ex-spouses from marriages lasting 10+ years, you can potentially claim on whichever record gives you the highest benefit. The process really is straightforward once you get that appointment scheduled - just bring your certified documents and they'll handle the rest!

Welcome to the community! As a newcomer, I just wanted to say how helpful this thread has been to read. I'm not quite in this situation yet, but my marriage is ending after 12 years and I'm trying to learn about what options I might have down the road. It's really reassuring to see so many people sharing their actual experiences with the ex-spouse benefits process. The fact that you don't need the SSN and they don't contact the ex-spouse seems to be consistent across most people's stories here. @Nia Davis, it sounds like you're getting some great advice - especially about calling 3 months ahead to schedule your appointment. I'm bookmarking this whole thread for when I need it in the future. Thanks to everyone for being so generous with sharing your knowledge and experiences!

As someone new to this community, I just wanted to thank everyone for such detailed and helpful responses! I'm currently going through a divorce after 16 years of marriage, and while I'm still a few years away from FRA, this thread has been incredibly educational about what to expect down the road. It's reassuring to see so many real experiences confirming that the process is manageable and that SSA has systems in place to handle these situations without needing the ex-spouse's SSN or involving them directly. @Nia Davis, it sounds like you're getting excellent guidance here - the advice about scheduling 3 months ahead and bringing certified documents seems to be the consistent theme. I'm definitely saving this thread for future reference. Thanks to everyone for creating such a supportive space to discuss these important financial planning topics!

As a newcomer to this community, I want to thank everyone for this incredibly informative discussion! I'm currently researching Social Security benefits as I approach my own retirement planning, and this thread has been so educational. @Nia Davis, it's clear you're getting excellent advice here - the consistent message about not needing his SSN and the straightforward process is really reassuring. What strikes me most is how supportive this community is in sharing real experiences rather than just theoretical knowledge. I particularly appreciate the practical tips like scheduling 3 months ahead and bringing certified documents. For those of us just learning about these options, seeing actual success stories makes the whole process feel much less daunting. Thank you all for creating such a helpful resource!