Can I claim Social Security spousal benefits if separated for 20 years when husband is only 58?

You can't claim spousal benefits until your husband has filed for his own benefits, and he can't file until he's at least 62. So yes, unfortunately you'll have to wait until he reaches that age. The fact that you're separated doesn't matter to SSA as long as you're still legally married. When he turns 62, even if he doesn't file for his benefits, you could potentially get spousal benefits if they're higher than your current retirement benefits. Just make sure you have all your marriage documentation ready when you apply.

Wait, I'm confused. I thought there was some special rule for people who are separated? Something about 'deemed filing' if you've been married for more than 10 years? Can someone clarify this? I'm in a somewhat similar situation except I'm 61 and my husband is 65.

I had EXACTLY your situation a few years ago. Here's the deal: you absolutely have to wait until your husband turns 62 AND files for his benefits before you can get spousal benefits. It's frustrating but that's the rule. The only exception would be if you got divorced - then after 10 years of marriage you could claim on his record when he turns 62 whether he files or not. Have you considered whether a divorce might actually be beneficial financially at this point? Since you've been separated 20 years, you'd meet the 10-year marriage requirement for divorced spouse benefits.

SSA is sooooo annoying with these rules!!! My aunt was in a similar spot and they made her jump through HOOPS to get her benefits. And good luck getting a straight answer from them on the phone - I spent THREE DAYS trying to reach someone last month about my own retirement questions!!

Just to clarify one additional point - even when your husband does turn 62, if he doesn't actually file for his benefits, you still can't receive spousal benefits while still married. This is different from the divorced spouse rules. And if he does file at 62, he'll get a permanently reduced benefit (about 30% less than his full retirement age amount). Since you mentioned you're not in contact, this creates a real dilemma since you have no way to know if/when he files. The Social Security Administration won't proactively tell you.

To answer your follow-up question - yes, your own retirement benefits will continue regardless. If your husband files at 62 and your spousal benefit would be higher than your current benefit, you'd get your benefit plus the difference to equal the spousal amount (up to 50% of his primary insurance amount). As for checking if he's filed, unfortunately privacy laws prevent SSA from telling you his filing status without his consent. However, you could file a protective filing statement now stating your intent to file for spousal benefits as soon as he becomes eligible. This creates a record of your intent that could help with retroactive benefits later.

WAIT!!! I just remembered something important! If you've been married for 10+ years (which you have) AND you're at least 62 (which you are), I think there's a way to get benefits on his record even without contacting him? My neighbor did this... I think it's called a "protective application" or something. Has anyone else heard of this??

My sister had a similar situation and she just gave up trying to get the higher benefit amount cuz the whole process was SO FRUSTRATING. She said it wasn't worth the stress dealing with all the SSA bureaucracy. Sometimes I wonder if they make it this complicated ON PURPOSE so people don't get all the benefits they deserve!!! 😠

One last thing to consider: since you're 68 and already past your Full Retirement Age, when you do eventually qualify for spousal benefits, you won't face any reductions for early filing on your end. You'll be eligible for the maximum spousal benefit (up to 50% of your husband's Primary Insurance Amount). However, since it sounds like your own benefit is already established, you'll only receive the difference if the spousal amount is higher. I'd recommend scheduling an appointment with SSA when your husband gets closer to 62 to review all your options at that time.