Help with filing taxes as a separated spouse after years of joint returns?

So I'm in a bit of a situation here... My husband and I separated this year after filing jointly for the past 8 years. Now I'm completely lost about how to handle my taxes for 2025. I've never filed on my own since we got married, and I honestly don't even know where to start. Do I file as single? Head of household? I have our two kids living with me most of the time. Also, we're not legally divorced yet, just separated and living apart since March. I know taxes aren't due for months but I'm trying to get ahead of this mess. He's already told me he's filing on his own this year. I'm worried about claiming the right status and making sure I get the tax benefits for the kids since I'm the primary caregiver. Any advice would be super appreciated!

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19 comments

Rudy Cenizo

•8M

You have several options depending on your specific situation. If you're still legally married as of December 31, 2025, you can either file as Married Filing Separately or you might qualify for Head of Household status which generally provides better tax benefits. To qualify for Head of Household while still married, you need to: 1) Live apart from your spouse for the last 6 months of the year, 2) Pay more than half the cost of keeping up your home, and 3) Have a qualifying dependent (your children count). Since your kids live with you most of the time, you would be the custodial parent who can claim them as dependents, along with credits like the Child Tax Credit. Definitely gather all your financial documents - your W-2s, information about any other income, mortgage interest statements if you have them, childcare expenses, etc. Since this is your first time filing separately in years, I'd recommend using good tax software that walks you through everything step by step, or considering professional help just for this transitional year.

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Rudy Cenizo

•8M

For IRS purposes, living in separate areas of the same house doesn't count as "living apart." To meet the living apart test, you need to have different residences entirely. The IRS is looking for completely separate households with different addresses. For the children as dependents, the custodial parent is generally the parent with whom the child lived for the greater number of nights during the year. If the nights are equal, it goes to the parent with the higher adjusted gross income.

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Daryl Bright

•8M

When I went through my separation last year, I was completely overwhelmed with the tax stuff too. I found this service called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that really helped me figure out which filing status was best for my situation. I uploaded my previous joint returns and it analyzed everything and guided me through the whole separated filing process. It flagged some deductions I would have missed and helped me understand how to handle our shared assets. The thing that helped most was how it showed me different scenarios (filing as MFS vs HOH) and what each would mean financially.

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Daryl Bright

•8M

It helped me figure out the dependent situation by walking through the IRS rules about custody percentages and showing what documentation I needed to keep. Since I had my kids more than 50% of the time, it showed I qualified as custodial parent and could claim them, but also showed options if we wanted to trade exemptions in certain years. The service actually does both - gives personalized advice AND helps prepare your return. You can choose how much help you want. They use really strong encryption for all your docs, same as what banks use. I was skeptical at first too but honestly it was such a relief having someone guide me through the separation tax mess.

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Kirsuktow DarkBlade

•8M

Just wanted to update here after trying taxr.ai - it was actually really helpful for my separated filing situation! The system analyzed my past joint returns and identified all the deductions and credits I could still claim as a separated person. It flagged that I could still file as Head of Household even though I'm technically still married, which is saving me almost $3,200 compared to Married Filing Separately. It also helped me document the custody arrangement properly so I could claim both kids without issues. Definitely worth checking out if you're newly separated and confused about taxes.

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Abigail bergen

•8M

When I separated last year, I had some complicated questions about dividing assets and who could claim what. I tried calling the IRS for weeks with no luck - always on hold forever or disconnected! Then someone told me about Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). They have this service where they actually get you through to a real IRS agent on the phone, usually within 15-45 minutes. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was able to talk directly with an IRS representative who answered all my specific questions about filing as separated vs head of household, and confirmed exactly what I needed to document for my situation. The peace of mind from getting official answers directly from the IRS was totally worth it.

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Abigail bergen

•8M

It works by using their system that navigates the IRS phone tree and waits on hold for you. When an actual agent picks up, you get a call connecting you directly to that agent. No need to sit on hold for hours yourself. There's no special access or anything shady - they're just handling the frustrating wait time part. It's basically like having someone wait in line for you. And regarding your concern about refunds - that's exactly what I used it for last year, to find out why my refund was delayed after my filing status changed.

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Anderson Prospero

•8M

Ok I need to eat my words. I was super skeptical about that Claimyr thing but I was desperate about my amended return after my separation. I tried it yesterday and it actually worked! Got connected to an IRS agent in about 25 minutes who explained exactly why my return was flagged for review (apparently having a complete change in filing status from joint to head of household triggered some extra verification steps). The agent walked me through what documentation I needed to submit and gave me a direct fax number to send it to. She even put notes in my file about our conversation. My amended return should be processed within 3 weeks now instead of the 20+ weeks I was looking at before. Wish I'd known about this months ago!

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Tyrone Hill

•8M

Yes, you can split deductions based on who actually paid them. For mortgage interest, if you paid 8 months and he paid 4, you can claim 2/3 of the yearly mortgage interest and he can claim 1/3 on your separate returns. Just make sure you have documentation showing who paid what. For property taxes and other house expenses, the same rule applies - you can deduct the portion you actually paid. The tricky part is making sure you both agree on how things are being split so you don't both claim the same expenses. Sometimes it helps to write up a simple agreement that you both keep copies of with your tax records.

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