Filing Status Options When Separated But Not Divorced - Head of Household Possible?
Feel like I'm trying to solve a Rubik's cube with my tax situation this year. My husband and I have been living separately for 11 months in 2024 (he got PCS orders, but I stayed behind with the kids). We're still legally married but our tax situation is like a sinking ship - we owe money when filing jointly because of our combined income. When I tried married filing separately, it's like jumping from one leaky boat to another - still owing. I've heard there might be a life raft called "head of household" status? Is that true for my situation? If I claim 2 of our kids, could he file as single with 1 dependent? He's bunking with his brother so he can't claim head of household either. Just trying to navigate these choppy tax waters without capsizing our finances completely. Any advice would be appreciated!
20 comments
Join the conversation
Ethan Brown
You may qualify for Head of Household (HOH) filing status despite being legally married. The IRS considers you "considered unmarried" for HOH purposes if you meet ALL of these criteria: 1. You file a separate return from your spouse 2. You paid more than half the cost of keeping up your home for the tax year 3. Your spouse didn't live in your home during the last 6 months of the tax year 4. Your home was the main home for your child, stepchild, or foster child for more than half the year 5. You can claim the child as a dependent If you qualify for HOH, you'll get better tax rates than Married Filing Separately and a higher standard deduction. Your husband would likely need to file as Married Filing Separately, NOT Single - that's a common misconception.
0 coins
Yuki Yamamoto
•So if they've been separated for exactly 11 months in 2024, and assuming the husband hasn't lived in the home for those full 11 months, that would satisfy the 6-month requirement, correct? And does the husband have any filing options besides Married Filing Separately if she claims HOH?
0 coins
Carmen Ortiz
•This is super helpful! I went through something similar when my ex was deployed. The "considered unmarried" thing confused me so much at first. Do you know if there's any documentation the IRS typically wants to verify the separation? I remember worrying they wouldn't believe me since we were still legally married.
0 coins
Andre Rousseau
Have you run the numbers for all scenarios? Sometimes what seems obvious isn't the best financial choice. What if you file HOH with all three kids as dependents? Have you considered that your husband might actually benefit more from MFS than trying to claim a dependent? Could the child tax credits offset more of your tax burden than his? In my experience with military families going through separation, it's worth paying for professional help this one time. The right filing strategy could save you thousands, and the wrong one could cost you just as much. Wouldn't it be worth a few hundred dollars to potentially save much more?
0 coins
Zoe Papadakis
•I'm a bit concerned about the implications of claiming all three kids. Wouldn't that potentially create issues if they're attempting to maintain an amicable separation? There might be personal considerations beyond just the tax savings.
0 coins
Jamal Carter
•This approach seems reasonable, though I would caution that the IRS might question why one parent is claiming all three children if they're typically splitting time between both parents. Documentation of actual living arrangements would be advisable in such cases.
0 coins
AstroAdventurer
•Thx for mentioning this! I did MFS last yr during my separation and totally regretted not getting a pro to look at it. Ended up paying way more than necessary. Def worth the $ for professional help during this transition period.
0 coins
Mei Liu
I was in a similar situation last year! I followed these exact steps: 1. First, I gathered all my housing payment receipts to prove I paid more than half the costs 2. Then I confirmed my husband hadn't lived with us for over 6 months 3. Next, I made sure I could properly claim my children as dependents 4. After that, I filed as Head of Household with my kids as dependents 5. Finally, my husband filed as Married Filing Separately The result? I saved over $3,200 compared to when we both filed as Married Filing Separately! But please double-check everything - I'm still not 100% sure I did it correctly, even though the IRS accepted it.
0 coins
Dmitry Petrov
•That's a great real-world example of how much money can be saved with the right filing strategy! I'm curious - when you gathered those housing payment receipts, did you include things like utilities, maintenance costs, and property taxes, or just the mortgage/rent payments? I want to make sure I'm documenting everything correctly if I end up in a similar situation. Also, did the IRS ever follow up with any questions about your filing status change?
0 coins
Liam O'Sullivan
You need to talk to an actual IRS agent. This is too complicated for general advice. Your specific situation matters. Military separation has special rules. Child support affects dependency claims. Living arrangements impact filing status. I tried calling the IRS for weeks. No luck. Used Claimyr instead. Got through in 15 minutes. Agent walked me through my options. Worth every penny. Saved me thousands. Here's their link: https://www.claimyr.com
0 coins
Amara Chukwu
•Wait, you have to pay to talk to the IRS? I thought that was a free government service! How does this Claimyr thing work with all the technical IRS regulations? Seems like there would be a lot of specialized knowledge required.
0 coins
Ethan Brown
•The IRS itself is free to contact, but getting through to an agent can be nearly impossible during tax season. Wait times can exceed 2-3 hours, and many callers get disconnected after long holds. Claimyr just helps you bypass the wait time - once connected, you're speaking directly with actual IRS agents who have the authority and knowledge to address your specific situation.
0 coins
Giovanni Conti
Have you considered the dependency exemption allocation? This might be key to optimizing your tax situation. Can either of you waive the right to claim certain children? Would splitting the dependents across tax years work better? What about the impact on child tax credits and earned income credits? Have you calculated the difference in tax liability under each scenario? Did you account for state tax implications as well?
0 coins
Andre Rousseau
•Great questions! Form 8332 lets you release a claim to exemption for a child, which could be strategic here. Some years it makes sense to alternate who claims which kids based on income changes. Worth exploring all angles.
0 coins
Fatima Al-Hashimi
For military families in your situation, here are some important points to consider: • Military BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) is not taxable income but does count toward support calculations for HOH status • If you lived in on-base housing, special rules may apply for determining "cost of keeping up a home" • The Service Members Civil Relief Act provides certain protections but doesn't directly impact filing status • If your spouse was deployed to a combat zone, there may be additional tax considerations • State of legal residence vs. physical residence can impact state tax obligations • The stimulus payments from previous years should have gone to whoever claimed the children Documenting your separate living situation is crucial in case of audit. Keep records of separate addresses, utility bills, etc.
0 coins
Mei Liu
•This is so helpful! When my husband was stationed overseas and I stayed stateside with our kids, I wasn't sure how to handle the BAH for tax purposes. I ended up creating a spreadsheet tracking exactly how much went toward housing costs to prove I paid more than half. The IRS never questioned it, but I felt better having that documentation ready just in case.
0 coins
Sophia Rodriguez
•Really appreciate this military-specific guidance! One question about the BAH - if the husband is receiving BAH while stationed elsewhere, does that complicate the "paying more than half" calculation for the wife's HOH status? I'm wondering if the IRS would consider his BAH as contributing to her household expenses even if they're living separately.
0 coins
Anastasia Fedorov
•@Sophia Rodriguez That s'actually a really good question about BAH! From what I understand, if the husband is receiving BAH for his separate duty station, that BAH is specifically for his housing costs at his location, not for the family home. So it shouldn t'count against the wife s'calculation of paying more than half the household expenses where she and the kids are living. The key is documenting that she s'covering the mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, and other household costs for the home where the children primarily reside. But this is definitely one of those nuanced military tax situations where getting professional advice would be worth it!
0 coins
Paolo Longo
•This is exactly the kind of comprehensive military-specific advice that's often missing from general tax discussions! I'm particularly interested in the point about on-base housing rules. Does anyone know if living in military family housing affects the HOH qualification differently than off-base housing? I imagine the "cost of keeping up a home" calculation might be trickier when housing is provided rather than rented/owned.
0 coins
Mateo Hernandez
•@Paolo Longo Great question about on-base housing! When living in government quarters, the cost "of keeping up a home calculation" becomes more complex but not impossible. The IRS looks at what you actually pay out-of-pocket for maintaining the household - things like utilities if (not included ,)food, clothing, medical expenses, education costs for the kids, and other necessities. Even if housing is provided, you re'likely still covering the majority of these other expenses. The key is documenting that your out-of-pocket costs for supporting the household exceed 50% of the total support provided to your qualifying children. Military families in base housing have successfully claimed HOH status before, but detailed record-keeping is essential.
0 coins