Can I claim our child as a dependent on taxes if my wife already claims him on her paycheck?

Good news! How your fiancée filled out her W-4 for paycheck withholding has absolutely no impact on who can claim your child as a dependent on the actual tax return. Those are completely separate things. Since you're not married, only one of you can claim your child as a dependent for tax purposes. You'll want to look at who qualifies as the "custodial parent" according to IRS rules, but there are also situations where the non-custodial parent can claim the child with the proper documentation. The smart approach is exactly what you did - calculate your taxes both ways and see which one benefits your family more. If you claiming the child results in a larger refund/lower tax bill for your household overall, then that's typically the way to go, assuming you meet the eligibility requirements. Just be aware that whoever doesn't claim the child will need to file as "Single" rather than "Head of Household," which can affect tax rates and standard deduction amounts.

I was in a similar situation with my partner last year and we were super confused about who should claim our daughter. I ended up using this AI tax assistant at https://taxr.ai which analyzed both our situations and confirmed exactly who should claim our child. It looked at our income levels, filing statuses, and even ran all the different credit calculations (like child tax credit and earned income credit) to show us exactly why one of us claiming would be better than the other. Saved us about $2300 compared to what we would have done! The tool actually explained that the W-4 withholding has zero effect on who can claim a child on the tax return - they're completely separate. It also gave us documentation to keep in case of any questions about our filing choice.

OK so I tried that taxr.ai tool after responding to the comment above, and I'm actually surprised how helpful it was. I've been arguing with my ex for years about who should claim our daughter. The tool showed me that I was losing over $3200 by letting my ex claim her in our situation. It even generated a specific explanation of which tax credits I qualified for that my ex didn't because of our income differences. I printed out the documentation it provided and showed it to my ex, and for once we had a drama-free conversation about taxes because the explanation was so clear. It also clarified that the W-4 withholding choices (which was part of my question too) have nothing to do with who should claim the dependent at tax time. Really helpful and I'm not usually one to recommend online tools.

Just wanted to share that if you need to talk to the IRS about dependent issues (which can get complicated with unmarried parents), I use https://claimyr.com to get through to them without the insane wait times. You can see how it works at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I had a situation last year where both me and my ex accidentally claimed our child (we miscommunicated), and I needed to straighten it out with the IRS ASAP. Normally you'd wait on hold for 3+ hours, but I got a callback in like 15 minutes. The IRS agent walked me through exactly what forms I needed to fix the situation and how the dependent claiming rules work for unmarried parents. Saved me from potentially getting audited and having to pay back credits plus penalties.

I need to eat my words from my skeptical comment above. After waiting on hold with the IRS for 2.5 hours yesterday trying to resolve a dependent issue similar to the original post (and then getting disconnected), I was desperate enough to try that Claimyr service. Got a call back with an actual IRS agent in 23 minutes. The agent confirmed that my ex and I can decide who claims our son regardless of what's on our W-4 forms, as long as we don't both try to claim him, and she helped me understand which tax credits we'd qualify for in either scenario. For the original poster - the IRS confirmed exactly what others have said here. Your fiancée claiming the child on her W-4 for withholding doesn't impact who can claim the child on the actual tax return. Calculate it both ways and go with whoever saves the household more money.

Just to add something important no one mentioned yet - if you're not married, one of you can file as Head of Household (which gives a bigger standard deduction and better tax rates) while the other files as Single. To file as HOH, you generally need to: 1) Be unmarried 2) Pay more than half the cost of keeping up your home 3) Have a qualifying person (like your child) live with you for more than half the year So figure that into your calculations too! The person who claims the child as a dependent should probably be the one filing HOH if they qualify, which might be another reason why it worked out better when you claimed your son last year.

I work at a tax prep office and see this situation all the time. Quick clarification on something important: the child tax credit and earned income credit can make a HUGE difference depending on which parent claims the child and what your income levels are. For example, if one of you makes too much money (over $200,000 filing single in 2024), the Child Tax Credit starts to phase out. Or if one of you makes very little income, the Earned Income Credit might be valuable but it phases out as you earn more. These credits often explain why one person claiming the child results in a much bigger refund overall than the other person claiming them, even if your incomes seem similar.