FAFSA expects me to drain my retirement for my kid's education - am I wrong to refuse?

ur NOT wrong!! my ex husband took out $112k in parent plus loans for our son's private university & now at 61 he can't retire bc the payments are $1,300/month!!! The whole systems is designed to TRAP parents. my daughter is at community college and then transfering to state school & will graduate with NO DEBT. these expensive schools aren't worth it - my son with the fancy degree makes the same as his friends from state schools but has all the debt.

The FAFSA SAI calculation is based on a federal methodology that unfortunately doesn't account for retirement savings adequacy or regional cost of living differences. For the 2025-2026 aid year, they've actually made some adjustments to reduce the expected parent contribution, but it's still substantial for many families. Some options to consider: 1. File a special circumstances appeal with each school (job change, medical expenses, etc.) 2. Look at merit scholarships at less competitive schools 3. Consider 2+2 programs (community college then transfer) 4. Compare net price calculators across multiple institutions Your retirement security is important - there are no loans for retirement.

I'm going through EXACT same thing!! My twins got into Cornell and Vanderbilt and FAFSA says we should pay $42k per kid!?!? HOW??? We make good money on paper ($198k) but in California that barely covers our mortgage. We're not taking out loans so my kids are furious with us for "ruining their futures" but I refuse to be paying student loans when I'm 70.

You're making the right choice. I'm a financial planner who specializes in college funding strategies, and I see too many parents sacrificing their financial security for their children's education. The FAFSA methodology is fundamentally flawed because it treats assets that should be untouchable (retirement) as available for education. One approach worth considering: appeal your SAI directly with the financial aid office. Document any special circumstances not captured in the FAFSA - medical expenses, care for elderly parents, other children in college, etc. Each school has discretionary funds they can allocate. Have your daughter apply to schools where her academic profile makes her an attractive candidate for merit aid. Often the "second tier" schools offer substantial merit packages to attract top students.

I was THAT KID 15 years ago whose parents refused to take loans for my "dream school." I was FURIOUS with them. Went to state school instead of Northwestern. And you know what? It was the BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED! Graduated debt-free, bought a house at 27, and now I'm watching my private-school friends still drowning in loan payments. Your daughter will thank you later!!!!

The American university system is the biggest scam going. These schools with their billion dollar endowments still charging $70k/year is CRIMINAL. And FAFSA expects middle class families to fork over their retirement? The whole system needs to burn down.

Try calling the Federal Student Aid hotline directly to discuss your SAI calculation - they might be able to provide guidance on appeal options. I spent weeks trying to get through with no luck (always disconnected or 3+ hour waits), but finally used Claimyr (claimyr.com) to reach an actual human. They got me connected to an FSA agent in under 20 minutes who walked me through the professional judgment appeal process. They have a video demo at https://youtu.be/TbC8dZQWYNQ showing how it works. The agent I spoke with was super helpful about documentation needed for the appeal.

hot take maybe but have you considered letting your daughter take out some loans herself? i took out about $22k total for my education (reasonable amount) and my parents helped with the rest. helped me appreciate my education more and taught me financial responsibility

dont let anyone shame u!!! my neighbor remortgaged their house for their son's college and then he dropped out after 2 years and now they might lose their house. these kids have NO IDEA the sacrifices were being asked to make!!

You're absolutely doing the right thing by protecting your retirement! I'm a recent college grad who went through a similar situation with my parents 4 years ago. They had a modest retirement fund and FAFSA expected them to contribute way more than they could afford without jeopardizing their future. I was initially disappointed about not going to my "dream school" but ended up at our state university with merit scholarships. Here's what worked for us: I applied to 12 schools where my stats put me in the top 25% of applicants for merit aid. Ended up with a full tuition scholarship at a great state school. Now I'm debt-free, have a good job, and my parents can actually retire someday. Meanwhile, friends from high school are drowning in loan payments for degrees that aren't any better than mine. Your daughter might be upset now, but you're teaching her an invaluable lesson about financial responsibility. There are SO many paths to success that don't involve crushing debt. Stand your ground!

You are absolutely NOT wrong to protect your retirement! I'm a financial advisor and I see this scenario constantly - parents being guilted into taking on massive debt for their kids' education while their own financial security crumbles. At 52 with $217K saved, you're actually behind where you should be for retirement (rule of thumb is 5-6x your annual income by age 50). Taking on $150K+ in Parent PLUS loans would be financial suicide. The harsh reality is that your daughter has options - she can attend a less expensive school, earn merit scholarships, or take on reasonable student debt herself. But you cannot get loans for retirement. Social Security alone won't be enough, and working until you're 75 because you drained your savings for college is not a viable plan. I've seen too many families destroy their financial futures for the "college experience." Your daughter will adapt and thrive elsewhere, but your retirement security, once gone, is nearly impossible to rebuild at your age. You're being a responsible parent by setting financial boundaries.