FAFSA divorced parents strategy - can I choose which parent for better aid?
Just found out my daughter's FAFSA only lists me (mom) as the parent, but her father is on disability with limited income. Someone at her college orientation mentioned we might get better financial aid if we used him instead since his income is much lower than mine. Is this actually true? Can we pick which divorced parent to include on FAFSA for better aid calculation? I'm seriously struggling to figure out how to cover $27,450/year in tuition and the financial aid package they offered is laughable. We didn't include her dad's info because he provides minimal support financially, but if switching to him on the application would help with her SAI calculation, I'd definitely want to update it. Anyone dealt with this divorced parent situation before? What's the official rule here?
24 comments


Emma Garcia
the answer depends on who she lived with most during the last year. if she lived with you, then only your income counts. if dad, then his. doesnt matter who provides more $$ its about physical custody
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Aiden Rodríguez
•She has lived with me for the past 4 years (since the divorce), so I guess that means we have to use my income? That's disappointing since his disability income would probably qualify her for much more aid.
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Ava Kim
The FAFSA rule is actually pretty straightforward in divorced situations. For the 2025-2026 FAFSA, it's based on which parent the student lived with MORE during the 12 months before filing. If it's equal time, then it's whichever parent provided more financial support. You can't just choose which parent to list based on who has lower income. If your daughter lived with you the majority of the time, you're the parent who needs to be on the FAFSA - regardless of the fact that her father is on disability and might have qualified her for more aid. One thing to note though - if you've remarried, your current spouse's income also needs to be included in the FAFSA calculation, which can sometimes make the SAI even higher.
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Ethan Anderson
•This is right but actually there's ONE exception - if the custodial parent (you) remarried, and the stepparent's income is way higher, sometimes the financial aid office will do a "professional judgment" adjustment. Worth asking about.
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Layla Mendes
When I was applying for college my parents were divorced and i tried putting my moms info cause she made way less but the college financial aid office caught it and made me redo it with my dads info since i lived with him!! they can check your address history and everything so dont try to cheat the system!!!!
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Aiden Rodríguez
•I definitely don't want to cheat the system - just trying to understand the rules. Thanks for the warning though. I wouldn't want to cause problems with her application.
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Lucas Notre-Dame
As others have mentioned, you can't simply choose which parent to include based on financial benefit. However, there are legitimate strategies for divorced families dealing with FAFSA: 1. If your daughter could legitimately live with her father for the majority of the year before filing next year's FAFSA, then his information could be used legitimately. 2. Ask about a Professional Judgment review from the financial aid office. Explain the situation with her father being on disability and your struggle to cover costs alone. 3. Look into additional scholarships specifically for children of disabled parents or single-parent households. 4. Consider having her father contribute what he can directly to her for personal expenses rather than tuition, which might help indirectly. Unfortunately, calling the FSA helpline to discuss specific strategies can be extremely difficult with long wait times. When I needed to discuss a complicated divorce situation for my son's FAFSA, I used Claimyr.com to get through to a real person without waiting for hours. They have a good video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/TbC8dZQWYNQ
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Aiden Rodríguez
•Thank you for these suggestions. My daughter couldn't realistically move in with her father given his health situation, but I'll definitely look into requesting a Professional Judgment review. I hadn't considered that option. I'll check out that service too since I've been trying to call FSA with no luck.
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Aria Park
I went through an almost identical situation last year with my son!!! Our divorce decree actually specified that my ex would help with college costs, but when the time came he claimed his disability prevented him from contributing. The whole FAFSA system is SO UNFAIR to divorced parents who are stuck covering everything alone!!! One thing I learned after hours of research - if your daughter lives with you more than 50% of the time, they ONLY look at your income. Period. End of story. FAFSA doesn't care about court orders, promises, or what would be "fair." It's simply where the student's butt sleeps most nights. ANOTHER UNFAIR THING: If you've remarried, your new spouse's income counts too, even if they have zero legal obligation to pay for your child's education!!! But an ex-spouse with legal obligation? FAFSA ignores them completely! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!
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Noah Ali
•Ugh same boat. My ex makes twice what I do but our son stayed with me for high school so I'm stuck with the FAFSA. Meanwhile my ex bought a boat last year 🙄
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Ava Kim
To give you some additional options since you can't change which parent is used for FAFSA: 1. Look into CSS Profile schools - some of them consider both parents' income regardless of living situation (which could help or hurt depending on circumstances) 2. File an appeal with the financial aid office explaining the situation with her father's disability and your solo financial responsibility. Provide documentation of your ex-husband's disability status and any court documents showing custody arrangements. 3. Consider a Parent PLUS loan to cover the gap, though be careful with the amount of debt you take on 4. Explore whether your daughter qualifies for any disability-related scholarships through her father's condition 5. Have your daughter look into work-study programs at her school to offset some costs The financial aid system definitely has limitations when it comes to divorced families, but there are still some options to explore.
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Aiden Rodríguez
•These are all extremely helpful suggestions. I'll definitely file an appeal with supporting documentation. I hadn't considered that her father's disability might qualify her for specialized scholarships - that's a great idea. I'll research that right away.
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Emma Garcia
also another trick - if ur daughter takes a gap year and lives with dad most of that year, then next fafsa would use his info instead of urs. might be worth it if the aid difference is huge
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Noah Ali
•I was gonna suggest this too. My neice did this - took a semester off, lived with her dad who made way less, then filed fafsa and got wayyyy more aid
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Chloe Boulanger
I think its completely absurd that the whole system ignores the reality of divorced parents! Both parents should count regardless of where the kid lives. My sisters stepdad has to count on fafsa even though he has zero legal responsibility for her, but her actual dad who pays child support doesn't count at all? So backwards.
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Aiden Rodríguez
Thank you everyone for all the advice. I've decided to: 1. Appeal to the financial aid office with documentation about my ex's disability and my sole financial responsibility 2. Look into special scholarships related to students with disabled parents 3. Talk to my daughter about work-study options I really appreciate all the insights - this community has been so helpful!
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Lucas Notre-Dame
•Good plan! Remember to be persistent with the financial aid office. Sometimes the first answer isn't final, especially if you can provide additional documentation. Wishing you and your daughter the best!
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Aisha Jackson
I'm in a similar situation with my son and it's so frustrating! One thing I discovered that might help - check if your daughter's college participates in any special programs for students from single-parent households or those with disabled parents. Some schools have emergency grants or additional aid pools specifically for these situations that aren't tied to FAFSA calculations. Also, don't forget to update your FAFSA if there are any changes to your income throughout the year (like job loss, medical expenses, etc.). The financial aid office can sometimes adjust your aid package mid-year if your circumstances change significantly. The system definitely isn't perfect for divorced families, but hang in there - there are more options than it initially seems!
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Sophie Duck
•This is such great advice! I never thought about emergency grants or special programs for single-parent situations. I'll definitely reach out to the financial aid office to ask about these types of programs. It's good to know that FAFSA adjustments can happen mid-year too - that gives me some hope if my work situation changes at all. Thanks for sharing your experience!
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Sara Hellquiem
One more thing to consider - if your ex-husband receives Social Security Disability, your daughter might be eligible for dependent benefits until age 18 (or 19 if still in high school). While this wouldn't change the FAFSA calculation, any Social Security benefits she receives could help offset some college costs directly. It's worth checking with the Social Security Administration to see if she qualifies, as many families don't realize this benefit exists for children of disabled parents. Also, when you do your appeal with the financial aid office, make sure to include documentation of your ex's disability status and any legal agreements about educational support (or lack thereof). Sometimes they can make adjustments even when the FAFSA rules seem rigid.
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Yuki Tanaka
•This is such valuable information about Social Security dependent benefits! I had no idea this might be available for children of disabled parents. I'll definitely contact the Social Security Administration to see if my daughter qualifies - every bit of help would make a difference with these college costs. Thank you for mentioning this, it's exactly the kind of resource I wouldn't have known to look for on my own.
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Connor O'Neill
I've been through this exact situation with my daughter two years ago! The custody rule is absolutely rigid - there's no wiggle room to choose based on income. Since your daughter lived with you, you're stuck using your income even though it results in less aid. However, here's what actually helped us: Document EVERYTHING about your ex's disability and financial inability to contribute, then request a Professional Judgment review. We provided his disability award letters, medical documentation, and a letter explaining that despite legal obligations, he physically and financially cannot contribute. The school reduced our EFC by about $4,000. Also check if your state has any grants for single parents or children of disabled parents that aren't tied to FAFSA. Some states have separate aid programs that consider these circumstances differently than federal aid does. Don't give up - the initial aid package is often just the starting point, not the final answer!
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Yara Khalil
•This is incredibly encouraging to hear from someone who's been through the same situation! A $4,000 reduction in EFC would make a real difference for us. I'm definitely going to gather all the documentation you mentioned - his disability award letters and medical records - and put together a comprehensive appeal. It's reassuring to know that the initial package really isn't set in stone. I'll also research state-specific grants that might consider our circumstances differently than FAFSA does. Thank you for sharing your success story - it gives me hope that we can make this work!
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Zoe Papadakis
I went through something very similar with my stepson last year. The FAFSA rules around divorced parents are definitely frustrating, but they're based on where the student physically lived the most, not who would provide better aid eligibility. Since your daughter lived with you for the past 4 years, you're the correct parent to include. However, don't lose hope! Here are a few things that helped us: 1. Professional Judgment appeals really do work - we got our EFC reduced by about $3,500 after providing documentation of the non-custodial parent's disability and inability to contribute. 2. Look into your state's grant programs. Some have aid specifically for single parents or families with disabled members that uses different criteria than FAFSA. 3. Check if your daughter qualifies for any scholarships through organizations that support children of disabled parents. The key is being persistent with the financial aid office and providing thorough documentation. Many schools have additional institutional aid they can offer beyond what the initial FAFSA calculation shows. Good luck!
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