Can I marry, then divorce before FRA to keep my ex-spouse Social Security benefits?
I'm trying to figure out a Social Security strategy that involves my ex-husband's benefits. We were married for 15+ years and have four adult children together. I've been in a relationship for the past 8 years but deliberately avoided remarrying to preserve my future access to my ex's Social Security (which would be significantly higher than mine). My current partner recently got a new job with excellent health insurance benefits and wants to add me, but we'd need to be married. We're also looking at buying a home together where being married might give us tax advantages. Here's what I'm wondering: If we get married now while I'm still years away from my full retirement age (FRA), could we theoretically divorce before I reach that point, allowing me to then claim ex-spouse benefits as if I'd remained unmarried the whole time? Also, I've heard conflicting information about what happens if my ex-husband passes away. Someone told me the remarriage restrictions don't apply for surviving divorced spouse benefits if I remarry after age 60. Is this correct? Is there a waiting period involved? I'd really appreciate any guidance on navigating these complicated rules. The difference in benefits could be around $850/month for me, so it's worth planning carefully.
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PixelWarrior
You're asking about some complex rules but I'll try to explain clearly based on my experience helping my mom through this exact situation: 1. If you remarry at ANY point, you CANNOT receive benefits on your ex-spouse's record while you remain married to someone else. The divorce has to be final before you can claim. 2. If you divorce again before claiming, then yes, you could claim on your first ex's record (assuming you meet all other qualifications - 10+ year marriage, etc.) 3. For survivor benefits (if your ex passes away): You CAN remarry after age 60 and still collect survivor benefits based on your deceased ex-spouse's record. There's no waiting period for this specific rule. Be careful though - these decisions have long-term impacts. Have you calculated what your own benefit would be compared to the spousal benefit?
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Liam Fitzgerald
•Thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed to know. I have calculated some numbers - my own benefit would be around $1,650/month at FRA, while my ex's would give me about $2,500/month (50% of his). So we're talking about $850 difference monthly, which adds up to over $10,000 a year! If I understand correctly, we could marry now, then divorce before I apply for benefits, and I'd be eligible for my ex's benefits again. But if he passes away, and I'm over 60, I could remarry without it affecting survivor benefits. The latter would be even better financially since survivor benefits are higher than spousal (71.5% vs 50% I think?).
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Amara Adebayo
I don't mean to be pessimistic, but have you thought about how your current partner feels about a plan that involves a future divorce?? My sister did something similar and her husband was on board at first but then felt really hurt when the time came to actually go through with the divorce. Even though it was "just for benefits" it created a lot of emotional damage. And what if your partner doesn't want to divorce when the time comes? Just something to consider from someone who's seen this go badly.
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Liam Fitzgerald
•That's a really good point I hadn't fully considered. We've discussed it conceptually, but not deeply about the emotional aspects. He seems very practical about financial matters, but you're right that it could feel very different when actually facing divorce paperwork. I definitely need to have a more serious conversation with him about this before making any decisions.
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Giovanni Rossi
my aunt tried to do exactlywhat your thinking! got married to her boyfrnd of 12 yrs, then they divorced when she was 64 so she could get her ex husbands SS. it WORKED but social security made her wait like 6 months after the divorce was final before they would process her appliction. they told her something about making sure the divorce wasn't fraudulent or something?? idk but she got it eventually
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Fatima Al-Mansour
•This is actually important information. The SSA does look at the circumstances of divorces that happen close to benefit application dates. While there's no official waiting period, they can investigate if they suspect the divorce was solely to obtain benefits. This doesn't mean they'll deny benefits, but it could delay processing while they review the case. The cleanest approach is to make these decisions well before applying for benefits - either stay unmarried until claiming, or make sure any divorce is finalized with sufficient distance from your application date to avoid scrutiny.
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Dylan Evans
Have you thought about just gettin legally married for the insurance and tax stuff but NOT telling social security when you apply? My neighbor has been doing this for 5 years without any problems. Just sayin...
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Fatima Al-Mansour
•I need to strongly advise against this approach. The SSA regularly cross-references data with IRS, state vital records, and other government databases. Deliberately concealing a marriage when applying for benefits is fraud and can result in: 1. Having to repay ALL benefits received (potentially tens of thousands of dollars) 2. Additional penalties and interest 3. Possible criminal prosecution in severe cases The SSA has sophisticated systems to detect unreported marriages, and the consequences far outweigh any short-term benefit.
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Sofia Gomez
Let me share my experience with SSA and their phone system - I needed answers to similar complex questions about my ex-spouse benefits last year and it was IMPOSSIBLE to get through to them. I spent over 15 hours on hold across multiple days and kept getting disconnected! Eventually I discovered a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA representative in under 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works at https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent I finally spoke with gave me detailed information specific to my situation that I couldn't find anywhere online. For complicated questions like yours involving multiple "what if" scenarios, I'd definitely recommend speaking directly with SSA rather than relying solely on forum advice.
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Liam Fitzgerald
•Thank you for the tip! I've tried calling SSA twice already and gave up after being on hold for over an hour each time. I'll definitely check out that service because I do think I need to speak with someone official to validate my understanding before making any big decisions.
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StormChaser
im confused about something... if your ex dies, wouldnt you get MORE money as a widow than as a divorced spouse claiming on his record? i think survivor benefits are like 100% of what they got but ex-spouse is only 50%? so why worry about the marriage stuff if he passes away and youre over 60? you'd get more anyway right? also what about just living together and filing taxes separately? thats what me and my partner do and we save $$ on housing without messing up my ex benefits
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PixelWarrior
•You're right about survivor benefits being higher! As a surviving divorced spouse, she could receive up to 100% of her ex's benefit amount (not just 50% like with divorced spouse benefits). And yes, continuing to live together unmarried while filing taxes separately is certainly the simplest solution that preserves benefit eligibility without question. The only downsides would be missing out on the health insurance coverage her partner is offering and potentially some housing tax benefits that are only available to married couples.
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Fatima Al-Mansour
Let me clarify a few important points about divorced spouse benefits that might help with your decision: 1. For ex-spouse benefits, you need to remain unmarried, but the ex-spouse's current marital status doesn't matter. They could be remarried multiple times and it doesn't affect your eligibility. 2. For survivor benefits if your ex passes away, the rules are different - you can remarry after age 60 and still collect. 3. There's no "waiting period" for eligibility after a divorce, but as someone mentioned, SSA may scrutinize divorces that happen suspiciously close to benefit applications. 4. Importantly, if you're born after 1954, you cannot file for divorced spouse benefits separately from your own. Due to the deemed filing rules, you'll automatically receive whichever is higher when you file - your own benefit or the divorced spouse benefit. 5. Since you mentioned the difference is about $850/month, have you verified this takes into account any potential reduction for claiming early, if that's your plan? If you decide marriage now is important for other reasons (health insurance, home purchase), just be aware of the clean break needed before applying for benefits in the future.
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Liam Fitzgerald
•Thank you for this comprehensive explanation! I was born in 1962, so I'm subject to the deemed filing rules you mentioned. I've calculated the $850 difference based on both of us claiming at full retirement age. You've given me a lot to think about regarding the timing and whether the temporary benefits of marriage now outweigh the potential loss of higher benefits later if we couldn't go through with a divorce. This is definitely a conversation I need to have with my partner.
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Amara Adebayo
SOCIAL SECURITY IS SO UNFAIR!!!! Why should anyone have to make these ridiculous choices between health insurance now and benefits later?? My friend had to stay in an unhappy marriage for YEARS just to reach the 10-year mark for Social Security. The whole system is designed to trap people in relationships or force them to make these weird divorce calculations. Europe doesn't make people jump through these kinds of hoops!! I'm sorry I don't have advice but I'm just so ANGRY about how complicated they make everything!!
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Giovanni Rossi
•i totally agree!! my mom lost out on like $1200 a month because she remarried at 58 not knowing about the over-60 rule for widows. nobody tells you this stuff until its too late! and trying to get answers from ssa is like pulling teeth, the website is so confusing and the phone lines are a joke
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Liam Fitzgerald
•I understand your frustration! It does feel like navigating a minefield sometimes. I wish there was a simpler way to ensure retirement security without these complications. The rules seem to have been created in a different era when marriage and work patterns were very different.
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