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Yuki Sato

Will mom get in trouble for marking 'single never married' on FAFSA when parents have private marriage license?

I'm trying to help my cousin fill out his FAFSA for next year but we're stuck on a complicated family situation. His parents have some kind of private marriage license (not sure if that's even legally recognized?) but they've been separated for years. His dad completely disappeared about 3 years ago - no contact, no child support, nothing. We have zero way to contact him. If my aunt just marks herself as "single, never married" on the FAFSA, will she get flagged for fraud or something? She's the only one who could possibly provide information and sign the FAFSA. My cousin has a really good chance at some scholarships, but we're worried this marriage status issue will either block his application or get my aunt in trouble. Anyone dealt with something similar? I know the FAFSA requires both parents' info if they're married, but getting his dad involved is literally impossible.

This is a really tricky situation. Technically, if your aunt is legally married (even with a private marriage license), she should select "married" on the FAFSA. Providing false information could potentially be considered fraud. However, there are exceptions for situations exactly like this. Your cousin should look into something called a "dependency override" or special circumstance appeal. If his father is truly absent and unreachable, the financial aid office can potentially make an exception. Your aunt should gather any documentation that shows she has no contact with her husband - police reports if she ever reported him missing, court documents, anything official that shows they don't communicate and he doesn't contribute financially. Then contact the financial aid office at the school and explain the situation before submitting the FAFSA.

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Thanks for the quick response. I'll look into the dependency override option. Do you know what kind of documents would be accepted as proof? My aunt never filed a missing persons report because he just kind of gradually disappeared (stopped coming home, then eventually just never showed up again). She doesn't have any official court documents since they never filed for divorce (partly because they can't find him).

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DO NOT LIE ON THE FAFSA!!!! I did this exact thing two years ago and got flagged for verification. They made my daughter submit extra documentation and we had to explain why we lied. Her financial aid was delayed by MONTHS and she almost had to skip a semester. The government has ways of finding out these things!!!!

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Omg thats terrifying. Was there any legal trouble or just delays with the aid? Did they make you pay anything back?

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No legal trouble thankfully but they made us submit so many extra forms and we had to go through verification which is like a mini-audit. We had to explain in writing why we marked the wrong status. It was STRESSFUL!!! Her SAI score changed completely after we corrected everything.

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Your cousin should apply for a Dependency Override based on the situation. Here's exactly what you need to do: 1. Contact the financial aid office at EACH school your cousin is applying to (each school handles these differently) 2. Ask specifically about a "Professional Judgment Request" for special circumstances 3. Document everything - have your aunt write a detailed statement explaining the situation 4. Get 2-3 letters from third parties who can verify the father's absence (family friends, religious leaders, counselors, teachers) 5. Be prepared to show your aunt has been the sole provider (tax returns, bills, etc) The key is to work directly with the financial aid administrators. They have discretion to make adjustments in unusual circumstances. Don't mark false information on the FAFSA itself - that can lead to serious problems.

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This is really helpful, thank you! I didn't realize we'd need to contact each school separately. My cousin is applying to 5 different places so that's a lot of work, but definitely worth it. I'll help him start gathering those letters from third parties ASAP.

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my sister went thru this exact thing!!! her husban took off and she couldnt find him anywhere. she ended up having to file abandonment papers with the court and that counted as proof for fafsa. took like 6 weeks to get thru the courts but then everything went thru fine

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That's really helpful! I never thought about abandonment papers. I'll have my aunt look into that option. 6 weeks isn't bad considering how long some legal stuff can take.

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I work with financial aid students regularly, and I've seen this situation before. Your aunt absolutely should NOT mark "single, never married" if she has any kind of marriage documentation - even a private ceremony. The FAFSA verification process often cross-references with tax filing status and other government records. Instead, she should mark "married" but then immediately contact the financial aid offices and request a special circumstances review. What will likely happen is they'll ask her to complete the FAFSA with just her information and submit a written statement explaining why the father's information is unavailable. She might also qualify for what's called a "Participating Parent Rule" exception if she can document that the father has been completely absent for an extended period.

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Thank you for this professional insight. I'll make sure she marks 'married' to avoid any trouble. So she should go ahead and submit the FAFSA with just her information in the parent section after marking married? Or should she wait to submit until after contacting the financial aid offices?

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She should contact the financial aid offices first before submitting the FAFSA. They can provide guidance specific to their institution on how to proceed. Some schools will want her to wait while others might tell her to submit with her information only and they'll make adjustments on their end. Each institution handles these situations slightly differently, which is why getting their specific instructions first is important.

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Have you tried calling Federal Student Aid directly? I was dealing with a complicated FAFSA situation last month and kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. Someone told me about this service called Claimyr that got me through to an actual FAFSA agent in about 10 minutes instead of waiting for hours. You might want to check out their video demo at https://youtu.be/TbC8dZQWYNQ to see how it works. The agent I spoke with was really helpful with my unusual parent situation and explained all my options. Saved me so much frustration since the FAFSA website doesn't really address unique situations like yours.

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I hadn't thought about calling them directly! I kept looking at their website but you're right, it doesn't cover these weird edge cases. I'll check out that service - anything to avoid those endless hold times. Thanks for the suggestion!

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Wait nobody's asked the obvious - what even IS a private marriage license?? Is that like a religious ceremony without legal paperwork? Because if it's not legally recognized by the state then maybe she IS technically single in the eyes of the government??

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That's a really good question, and honestly I'm not 100% sure. I think it was some kind of non-traditional ceremony with paperwork, but I don't know if they filed with the county/state or whatever is normally required. I'll have to ask my aunt for more details about what exactly they did.

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This is actually an important point. For FAFSA purposes, they only care about legally recognized marriages. If your aunt and her husband had a religious or spiritual ceremony but never obtained a legal marriage license through the state, then she would correctly mark "single" on the FAFSA. However, if they did file legal paperwork and are legally married in the eyes of the state, then marking single would be incorrect regardless of their living situation.

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This also depends on what her tax filing status is!! If she files as 'married' on her taxes but then 'single' on FAFSA they WILL catch that and flag her for verification!!! The systems are connected!!!

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Good point! I'll ask how she's been filing her taxes. I'm pretty sure she's been filing as head of household for the past few years, but I should double-check.

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does ur cousin live with aunt full time? if the dad hasn't been around for 3 yrs maybe he can just file as independent? thats way easier

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Unfortunately, parental absence doesn't automatically qualify a student as independent for FAFSA purposes. The criteria for independent status are very specific: being 24 or older, married, a veteran, having dependents, being emancipated, homeless, or having both parents deceased. Just having an absent parent doesn't qualify under current rules.

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Thanks everyone for all the advice! After reading your suggestions, we're going to: 1. First clarify whether the marriage was legally registered with the state or not 2. Check how she's been filing taxes these past few years 3. Contact the financial aid offices at each school before submitting anything 4. Look into abandonment paperwork as a possible solution 5. Gather letters from people who can verify the father's absence I'll update once we figure out more about the legal status of the marriage since that seems to be the key question. Really appreciate all the help!

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This sounds like an excellent plan. One more tip: have your aunt document every communication with financial aid offices (dates, names, what was discussed). If there are any issues later, having a paper trail of her attempts to address this properly will be invaluable. Good luck to your cousin!

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One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that if your aunt does end up needing to file abandonment papers or work through the dependency override process, she should start ASAP because these things can take months to resolve. The FAFSA deadline is coming up fast and you don't want your cousin to miss out on aid because of timing issues. Also, when gathering those third-party letters, make sure they're from people who have known the family for a while and can specifically attest to the father's absence over the past 3 years. Generic character references won't be as helpful as detailed statements from people who witnessed the situation firsthand. Hope everything works out for your cousin! It's really great that he has family like you helping him navigate this complicated situation.

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This is such great advice about the timing! I didn't realize these processes could take months. We definitely need to get started on this right away. The third-party letter tip is really helpful too - I was thinking of just asking anyone who knew the family, but you're right that we need people who can specifically speak to the father's absence over the past few years. My cousin's high school counselor and our neighbor who's known the family for years would probably be good options. Thanks for thinking about the practical timeline stuff!

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As a newcomer to this community, I just wanted to say how helpful this entire thread has been! I'm actually in a somewhat similar situation with my younger brother's FAFSA - our dad has been out of the picture for about 2 years now, though our parents were never formally married. Reading through all your responses has given me so much clarity on the dependency override process and the importance of documentation. I had no idea about things like abandonment papers or the Professional Judgment Request option. The advice about contacting each school individually and keeping detailed records of all communications is gold. @Yuki, it sounds like you and your cousin have a solid plan now. I'm definitely going to follow some of these same steps for my brother's situation. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences - both the success stories and the cautionary tales about verification issues. This community is amazing for helping navigate these complex financial aid situations!

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Welcome to the community! I'm so glad this thread has been helpful for your situation too. It's really eye-opening how many families are dealing with similar challenges when it comes to absent parents and FAFSA complications. The fact that your parents were never formally married might actually make things a bit simpler for you since there wouldn't be the same marriage status questions we're dealing with. Definitely start gathering that documentation early - I'm learning that timing is everything with these processes. Good luck with your brother's FAFSA, and feel free to update us on how it goes! It's nice to know we're all helping each other figure this stuff out.

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As someone who works in financial aid administration, I want to emphasize a few key points that might save your cousin time and stress: 1. **Get the marriage status clarified FIRST** - This determines everything else. If they have a valid state-issued marriage license, she's legally married regardless of separation. If it was only a religious/ceremonial union without state registration, she may be considered single for FAFSA purposes. 2. **Professional Judgment requests are common** - Financial aid offices handle these situations more often than you'd think. Most have streamlined processes for absent parent cases, so don't feel like you're asking for something unusual. 3. **Start with the school your cousin is most likely to attend** - If he has a clear first choice, get their process down first. You can often use their documentation requirements as a template for other schools. 4. **Document the timeline** - Have your aunt write out exactly when the father left, what contact attempts were made, when they stopped, etc. Financial aid officers need to see that this isn't just a temporary separation. The fact that you're being proactive about this puts your cousin in a much better position than students who discover these issues after submitting incorrect information. You're doing great by researching thoroughly first!

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This professional perspective is incredibly reassuring! Thank you for breaking down the process so clearly. I really appreciate the point about this being more common than we thought - it definitely makes me feel less anxious about reaching out to the financial aid offices. The suggestion to start with his top choice school and use that as a template is brilliant - I hadn't thought of that approach but it makes so much sense. We'll definitely have my aunt document that timeline in detail. It's good to know we're on the right track by researching everything thoroughly before submitting anything. This gives me a lot more confidence about moving forward with the process!

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As someone new to this community, I wanted to add something that hasn't been mentioned yet - if your aunt has been receiving any government assistance like SNAP, WIC, or housing assistance as a single parent, that documentation could actually help support her case for the dependency override. These programs typically require proof of single-parent status, so having years of these records could demonstrate that she's been functioning as an independent, single parent for an extended period. Also, if your cousin has been receiving free or reduced lunch at school based on household income calculations that only included your aunt's information, that's another piece of documentation that shows the father hasn't been contributing to the household. School counselors are often familiar with these situations and can be excellent resources for both documentation and advocacy letters. The key is building a comprehensive picture that shows this isn't just a recent separation or temporary situation, but a long-term absence where your aunt has been the sole provider and decision-maker for your cousin.

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This is such valuable insight that I don't think any of us had considered! The government assistance records angle is brilliant - you're absolutely right that those programs require verification of single-parent status, so having years of documentation from SNAP or WIC would be really compelling evidence. And the free/reduced lunch records is another great point that most people probably wouldn't think of. My aunt has been getting WIC benefits for my cousin's younger sister, so we definitely have that paper trail. I'll make sure to gather all of those types of records along with everything else. It really helps to think about this from the perspective of building a comprehensive case rather than just trying to explain the situation. Thank you for these practical suggestions!

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Welcome to the community! I'm new here too and this thread has been incredibly educational. I wanted to add one more resource that might help - many states have legal aid societies that offer free consultations for family law issues, including questions about marital status and abandonment. If there's any confusion about whether your aunt's marriage is legally valid, a brief consultation with a family law attorney could provide clarity without the cost of full legal representation. Also, I've heard that some colleges have student advocates or ombudsmen who can help navigate complex financial aid situations. If the regular financial aid office seems overwhelmed or unhelpful, these advocates might be able to provide additional support or escalate the case appropriately. The documentation suggestions from everyone here are fantastic - it really sounds like building a strong paper trail is key to success with these dependency overrides. Best of luck to your cousin, and thank you all for sharing such detailed advice that will help many families in similar situations!

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