FAFSA marital status confusion - separated for 17 years but legally still married
I'm stuck on the marital status section of my daughter's FAFSA application and need advice! My husband and I have been separated for 17 years with no legal divorce, but we live completely separate lives. I've provided 95% financial support for our daughter who lives with me full-time. I always file my taxes as Head of Household. Would checking 'married' on FAFSA hurt her aid chances since his income would count? But technically we're still legally married even though we function like we're divorced. The only connection we still have is that my daughter and I remain on his health insurance. Should I just mark 'married' to be legally accurate or is there some exception for long-term separations when completing the FAFSA?
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Haley Bennett
This is a really common situation! For FAFSA purposes, you need to report your actual legal marital status as of the date you submit the application. If you're legally still married (no formal separation agreement or divorce decree), you must select "married" and include both your and your spouse's information - even if you file taxes separately and live apart. This could potentially affect your daughter's SAI (Student Aid Index) calculation since both incomes would be considered.
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Rami Samuels
•Ugh, that's what I was afraid of. His income would definitely increase her SAI and reduce aid eligibility. Seems so unfair when he's contributed almost nothing to her upbringing.
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Douglas Foster
Just put divorced even if you technically arent. my mom did that for me cause my dad was completely out of the picture for like 10 yrs. nobody checked or anything
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Haley Bennett
•I have to caution against this approach. The FAFSA requires you to certify that all information is true and correct. Providing false information could result in fines, imprisonment, or having to repay all aid received. It's considered federal aid fraud, which is taken very seriously.
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Nina Chan
You might qualify for a legal separation exception! If you can document that you've been living separately and can get a formal separation agreement (even retroactively), you could potentially fill out the FAFSA as "separated" instead of "married." This would exclude your spouse's income from the SAI calculation. Have you considered getting a legal separation document filed? It's less complicated than a full divorce.
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Rami Samuels
•I had no idea this was an option! I'll look into getting a formal separation agreement. Do you know how long that process typically takes? My daughter's FAFSA deadline is coming up in a few weeks...
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Ruby Knight
FAFSA IS THE WORST FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS!!! I was in almost the exact same boat last year and had to include my ex's income even though he hasn't given us a DIME in 12 years!! My daughter got way less aid because of it and now has to take out extra loans. The whole system is BROKEN!!!
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Diego Castillo
•same. happened to my sister too. fafsa doesn't care about real life situations, only what's on paper 🙄
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Logan Stewart
have you tried calling the Federal Student Aid helpline to ask about your specific situation? sometimes they have exceptions for unusual circumstances that arent obvious on the application itself
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Mikayla Brown
•I was going to suggest this too. You should definitely call FSA to explain your situation and see if they can help with advice specific to your case. However, just be prepared that reaching them directly can be frustrating. After getting disconnected multiple times, I found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that helped me get through to an actual person at FSA without the endless wait. They have a demo video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/TbC8dZQWYNQ. It was worth it to get clear guidance on my complicated FAFSA situation.
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Haley Bennett
Another option to consider is filing a special circumstances appeal AFTER you submit the FAFSA. You would first complete the FAFSA accurately (as married), then contact each college's financial aid office to explain your situation. Many schools have processes for cases exactly like yours where the legal status doesn't reflect the financial reality. They may be able to adjust your daughter's aid package based on your actual financial contribution, even if the initial SAI is higher due to including both parents.
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Rami Samuels
•This is really helpful! I didn't know schools could make adjustments like that. I'll definitely reach out to the financial aid offices at her top choice schools if we can't get the separation documentation in time.
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Sean Matthews
my cousin went thru this last yr. she ended up getting legally separated just for the fafsa stuff & it made a HUGE difference in what her kid got for financial aid. like seriously worth the trouble of doing the paperwork
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Rami Samuels
Update: I was able to get through to FSA using that Claimyr service someone suggested above. The agent confirmed that I need to use my legal marital status BUT also encouraged me to pursue either getting a legal separation document quickly OR submitting special circumstances forms to each college. I'm going to try for the separation agreement first since that would help with the initial SAI score. Thanks everyone for the advice!
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Nina Chan
•That's great news! The legal separation route is definitely the cleanest solution. Just make sure the document clearly states the date of separation (which should be easy given your 17-year history). Once that's in place, you can select "separated" on the FAFSA and only include your income information.
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Jordan Walker
Great to see you got some clarity from FSA! Just wanted to add that when you're working on getting that legal separation agreement, make sure to ask your attorney about backdating it to reflect when you actually started living separately 17 years ago. Some states allow this, and it could strengthen your case with the colleges if the FAFSA timing doesn't work out. Also, keep all documentation of your separate living arrangements, tax filings as head of household, and records showing you've been the primary financial supporter - colleges love to see concrete evidence when reviewing special circumstances appeals. Wishing you and your daughter the best with this process!
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